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sleep deprivation

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it seems it makes it worse for me. 



im going to quote Mr. 50's, "I'm doing fucking amazing for the first time in my almost 2 years of this shit. For once it's not I feel great for a week and shitty the next, I've felt great for months on end. I found out it has 60% to do with sleep and 40% with what I eat. I completely stopped caffeine, large amounts of sugar, nicotine etc and got my sleep down juts perfect, which takes commitment ie setting alarms at specific times and going to bed at specific times etc, my visuals are 65% less than when u first developed visuals but there still there and may still be there for another year or 2 at the most"
i kinda agree. plus sleep dep. is something in our control, may be the biggest factor we can control to well being(other than drug abstaining)
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A couple weeks ago I had a serious bout of insomnia (or whatever you wanna call it). I only managed to sleep 2 hours in two days. By the end of it I was stumbling around and delirious. I know a lot of people go longer without sleep than that but I'm not used to that sort of thing. I pretty regularly can lay awake in my bed until six or seven AM but I always manage to fall asleep eventually, this time my brain just would not shut down.

All I noticed was an increase in ghosting. I was watching tv and unless I strained my facial muscles and focused really hard it was impossible for my vision not to go double. That was freaky.

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I never let myself get 2 days of little to no sleep, I tend to get ok sleep but that's probably because I'm still a teen. When I get bad, to little or to much sleep, I feel fucking delirious to, I mean walking around like a zombie, feeling like random bolts of electricity go through my body and weird emotions and memories that I KNOW have never happened pop up into my head. After a night of horrible sleep and caffeine, I had an incredibly emotional vivid dream where I killed a man and the entire next day I believed I did and it was one of the scariest days of my life

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damn ive only slept like 7 hours in the past 48 hours. it was so fucking hard for me , but i just slept for 3 hours. i woke up feeling scared for no good reason. feared insanity felt trapped. but i calmed myself down somehow. last night i just couldnt sleep i was delirious. i would put my head on the pillow and have racing thoughts that i  couldnt control. my brain was tired but i would freak out. i drank green tea decaf and i smoked a hit of og kush 5 hours before that but it seemed to make it worse. i dont even know at thispoint. it was 5 in the morning or somemthung so i went outside and did yoga, lliften weights, did pushups which calmed me down. i did deep breathing the whole time. and i woke up feeling scared pacing back and forth even tho i have a torn knee. i calmed myself down by realizing its illogical. it sucks having adrenaline rushes for days straight u go delirious. 

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