Please help me

[Sam93]

Hi guys,

This is a bit of a cry for help, I'm almost a year in to HPPD with no significant improvement, and my life has gone down the shitter as of late.

I lost my job, and just today my girlfriend said she no longer loved me and has left me, whom I loved very dearly. I've lost all my friends due to them being druggies and alcoholics and I feel like I've really hit rock bottom here, I have no clue what to do and I don't even want to wake up in the morning any more.

I can't sleep, I have no appetite and I feel like I'm going crazy, I've been pretty stable as of late but my life has been torn to shreds, all before Christmas, on top of that I have an alcoholic family member to deal with and another family member who is seriously ill, I don't know what to do my sepersonalization has flared up immensely, I just feel so numb and out of it.

As a result, I've been abusing Benzos, for example yesterday I took 40mg Valium throughout the day, woke up at 5am unable to sleep and so took 20mg more..

I don't know what to do, I feel like I need Benzos to live at the moment, and everything I care about in life has just been taken from me.

Sorry if this sounds like a sob story, I've had a lot of Etizolam today and my inhibitions are out the window.. I just need something to help me through these shit times.

Hope everyone is doing better than me anyway haha, much love fellow HPPDers,

Sam

[Syntheso]

I don't know you, but I love you. 

I suffer with you.

x

[Sam93]

Love you too HPPD brother

[Sam93]

And apologies for how morbid this post sounded, I took a bit too much Etizolam and got a bit down in the dumps. This site is like my church.

[disguyhere]

no need to apologize Sam... life is a sequence of ups and downs and we just gotta find what helps us get back the ups. we're all here if you need to vent it out

[hppd24years]

U kno Sam ur not the only one feeling discombobulated in discomfort in the month of family get togethers feathered by the good holly book. I feel great apathy for u in regards to ur confidante breaking bad from u just before Christmas that is absolutely horrific.

From an exterior point of view u seem like a good person and from an interior point of view I'd like to raise my glass in recognition that u will overcome this and smile once again my first sought friend.. There is other people knowing that u can trust or count on in this wacky wild kool-aid style type of world we cost in. Seek and u will find lots of love dude.. Cheers!!! Hppd24years strong and still thinking I'm going crazy..