One Year In

[Aypatia]

Hi everyone,

 

I have been following this site for the last year since the onset of my symptoms.  I developed HPPD after using a mixture of Coke, Molly, and eventually smoking a dab at the end of the night (I believe this was the triggering event) when I was 20.  I have had my symptoms for a year now-- static and after images, halos.  I struggle with depersonalization as well.  About a month ago I finally over came my anxiety about having HPPD-- I guess I relaxed about it when I realized it wasn't getting any worse after a year of constant symptoms.

 

I have really bad ADD and I am looking to get onto some meds that will help balance out my life a bit, and I am worried that they will make my hppd symptoms worse.  So I decided to join this site finally in the event I needed some support.  No one that I personally know understands what I am experiencing.  Sometimes I feel as if they do not believe me. My hppd makes it difficult to read, therefore even harder to focus on top of my ADD.  I am currently at university, I have a job, and I am going to law school next year.  I was really hopeful that I could get my life back by getting some better therapy and meds for my ADD but now I am very hesitant. My hppd is tolerable at its current intensity but if it got any worse I do not know how well I would handle it. I tried being completely sober for a couple of months and there was no improvement, but I have given up all other rec drugs and smoking pot. I am getting closer to giving up drinking too except for the occasional cocktail.  I work out a lot and I eat well.  I just hope I am not faced with having to decide between focus or decreased visuals. That would be a very hard decision to make at this point. Anyone with similar experience please let me know! 

[Guest]

Welcome to the forum. And it sounds like you´re doing pretty well. I hope your symptoms does´nt go in the way of your daily life and education. It´s possible to beat!

[The Former Fiend]

Hello,

 

Congratulations on beating the anxiety, well done.

I understand that this was achieved about a month ago and that you have had HPPD for about a year.

 

So after 12 months of true self healing you are at university, you have a job and are on your way to law school. Very impressive.

 

Its not my business what you choose to do but it does seem unwise to start medicating after a years hard work when the chances are that you will have to sacrifice focus for decreased visuals.

 

Why jump on a medication when you are doing so well and having overcome arguably the worst symptom of them all?

 

Just my thoughts...

[Aypatia]

I am having a really hard time coping with my ADD.  I don't want to go too much into it but I am at the point where I need to do something about it again. I just never took the stimulants route (my parents were very against it, some other things happened) and I never had HPPD to factor in too. But yes if my attention issues weren't interfering with my life so much, I wouldn't touch anything that could potentially make my hppd worse.  Hopefully I can work something out with my doctor. I'll let everyone know how it goes.  Thanks for the welcoming  

[Hppdsince1974]

It sounds to me like you are doing the things that you must do, even in the face of anxiety and uncertainty.  Good luck - keep trying, working, never give up.