Jump to content

To and through Hell and back: An HPPD'ers True Tale


jls274
 Share

Recommended Posts

Hi everyone! Ive been a longtime observer of this and the old forum. I was struck with strong symptoms of HPPD about 11 years ago after a heavy dose mushroom trip. Had all sorts of nasty symptoms(indoor rain/snow/static, floaters, trails and halos, tracers, light blobs, geometric patterns when eyes closed or in darkness/dark room, periphery vision movements, negative image retention, etc., etc., etc.). This went on for years. It affected every part of my life. About a year in, it was so bad that I contemplated suicide daily. My grades struggled, my relationship fell apart (she began thinking i was losing it--she was correct), my life was a complete mess. I honestly didnt even feel human. I felt like this messed up walking mind fucked brain in a body that doesnt even belong with it. I never could pull the trigger on suicide (no pun intended) and just dealt with it all the best i could. Things werent getting any better, but i was getting better at dealing with it all. Yes, it was 5 years of hell. A hell i wouldnt wish upon anyone. I thought my life was essentially over, that i would be this weird/disturbed socially awkward person with crazy visual anomolies that drove me nuts.

Well, after that initial 5-6 years, things did start to dramatically change. I was noticing sever symptom decrease daily. I was actually feeling less detatched and not just by ignoring the feeling of detatchment, but legitimately feeling more like a person, not some detatched body imprisoned brain. I really didnt do anything special, the symptoms just faded over time to where i had no symptoms at all. I still have no symptoms. Well, none is a stretch, but they are soooooo mild that they arent noticeable unless i seek out noticing them. I have been basically symptom free now for 6-ish years. No flare-ups or setbacks whatsoever. The only thing i did differently at the time of symptom decrease was that i began taking tramadol daily for an injury i suffered in a car wreck (herniated discs L3-L5 lumbar region low back). I found it very helpful with my anxiety/depression mood swings that HPPD brings with it. I am not recommending/encouraging everyone go get on tramadol, all i can say is that it undoubtedly helped me during that time. Hell the tramadol timing with symptom subsiding may have just been placebo or coincidence, but either way, it had a marked effect on my visuals and mental state especially.

Anyway, i write this to show everyone that recovery can happen. It took time, and alot of it, but it happened. It happened for me and my hppd symptoms were so strong/bad they were ruining my life. Stay strong everyone, (i know...thats easier said than done) the symptoms can subside and even disappear altogether over time. It happened to me, and i assure you all that i am nothing special. Good luck everyone. If anyone wants to know more detailed info on my journey through and out of the HPPD mess, just let me know. I came on here to provide hope and to help anyone that wanted my help. Again, good luck everyone, and have a wonderful day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.