Does it sound like HPPD?

[RaddlyColada]

Hello Everyone.  If you have any questions please ask~

 

At the moment I'm not quite sure what I have.  Im not sure if it is hppd or just psychotic tendencies.  My hallucinations started about 6 months after ayahuasca and about 8 months after lsd.  (both only used once)  I went to the doctors because i was really worried and he prescribed me an antipsychotic.  I read that antipsychotics will usually make your hppd worse. But for me it completely takes it away to were i feel normal again.  Thats why I think it may not be hppd.  Plus I don't have visual snow, floaters, or wavy text.  I see flashes of demonic faces, the color red on everything, see my face  flash a grey blue.  Does that sound like hppd?  And like i said it didn't start till about 6 months after ayahuasca and progressively got worse and worse as time went on.  Sound like hppd?

[etardnow]

Any other symptoms like tinnitus, head pressure, starbursting, double/ghosting vision, closed eye visuals, darkened vision, 

 

Different medication works for different people. While the general census is that benzos help and stimulants/antipsychotics worsen, its sometimes the opposite for some.

 

What antipsychotic are you on?

 

Seeing your face sounds like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization which a lot of the members who have it consider it a co-morbid disorder rather than actual hppd. 

Maybe you have derealisation as well? and the antipsychotics are helping you with those?

 

I have a mild case(for now :\) so im not much help but some of the other members will chime in soon enough. I have read cases about demonic images, wrong colors and such on the forum though.

[onedayillsailagain]

Hello Raddly, welcome to the forum.

I remember I once read of someone who saw snakes and spiders for a period after an Ayahuasca session, though I don't remember where. It would seem Ayahuasca would tend to induce (if any long lasting effects at all, that is) more complex visual hallucinations than other psychedelics. The story I'm referring to mentioned nothing else out of the ordinary, and described it as "such bullshit".

Just because antipsychotics helped your symptoms, does not necessarily equate to you being -or having been- in a psychotic state. Anti-psychotics are used for a variety of conditions, it just so happens that they are particularly efficacious in treating psychosis. It would help to know which medicine it was exactly that helped you. For instance; Risperidone has been reported to worsen symptoms, whereas Olanzapine has been documented to improve symptoms. Not all anti-psychotics work in the same way, hence any info you can give in this respect may provide some pharmacological/neurochemical insight in to the biological origin of your issues.

What you describe does isn't common, though not unheard of. However that doesn't mean it is not HPPD. Actually, I don't know what to think. There have been cases of late-onset HPPD if I recall correctly.. Though they usually include the more common symptoms like visual snow. I suggest you do some more specific searches involving Ayahuasca, as it is a psychedelics like no other. Perhaps join a Huasca forum, see what they can tell you.

Are your symptoms transient in nature? If so, it could be that you have the "classic" flashback syndrome, for which HPPD has been mistaken throughout literature.
How frequent are they? Are they reminiscent of your Ayahuasca trip?

It would help if you list any other symptoms you experience, both pre- and post-medication (if any at all). Have you had any delusions/delirium common with psychosis? Or any of the common co-morbid symptoms with HPPD such as cognitive deficits, depersonalization, derealization, anxiety, etc? Feeling strange or different in the cranium?

In any case, it's good that whatever medication you're on is working so well for you!
I noticed that I seemingly ignored the fact that you did LSD 2 months after Ayahuasca. Do you experience any symptoms reminiscent of your LSD trip? It might help to differentiate what it is exactly you have.

The best advice I can give you now is to make absolutely sure you have a competent professional who's helping you. Preferably a specialist.
Modern psychologists have the tendency to throw about the term "psychosis" when they don't have the 'nads to say "I don't know".
Though it would seem you're doing well in thinking for yourself and are consulting other points of view, which is always good, as many people put their doctors up on a pedestal and never question their judgement. Whoops, I derailed a bit their outing my frustration about the ubiquitous incompetence of the medical and psychiatric field.

Anyway, I know those were a lot of questions. Feel free to divulge as you see fit.
All the best,
Odisa

[RaddlyColada]

Thanks Odisa.  I actually used lsd 2 months before ayahuasca not 2 months after and was okay.   Its interesting that you say Olanzapine helped others with hppd, I am on Olanzapine.  (also called zyprexa)  : )  I just recently stopped Olansapine, was fine, but then smoked weed a few days later and my visuals started again.  So I don't know if I would have been fine forever if I wouldn't have smoked.  So I am back on it for now and will never use marijuana again.  sad thought. My visuals happen constantly.  Its easier to manage when alone but around others my visuals go crazy and it is hard to think/talk because its so distracting.  I think its because i have to think on other peoples wave lengths /  be in a certain persona.  My don't have depersonalization or anxiety.  At first I had bad anxiety but it is completely gone now.  My main symptom is everything will turn cartoony demonic, a cartoony perception of myself to were my hair is orange and my face is very white.   (my hair is brown and my skin is tan)  its very strange.  My face when i laugh or do anything will flash cartoony demonic in front of my eyes.  Sometimes it feels like I am wearing glasses when I do not wear glasses at all.  I know that sounds very strange but it feels all very real and I can see it in my perception.  Its like my imagination filters into my reality when before they were separate.  Thoughts?  

[disguyhere]

i wouldnt worry about labeling things as sounding strange in these forums. I think with reasonable certainty you will always find at least one person here who who no matter how bad your visuals may be they've been through worse... and then someone whose been through worse than them, 

 

i can go through a whole thing about our visuals being a true visual processing that we are normally subconsciously aware of but cannot process consciously... but it gets too deep to go into right now as the ambien begins to make me need sleep asap..

 

will follow up tomorrow