Please tell me the progression of your symptoms.

[etardnow]

Just doing some 'research' and for my curiosity.

Short answers first and then explanations(if you want) preferred. 

 

1. Prior to hppd, what was your drug experience

 

2. How long have you had hppd? 

 

3. What triggered the start of your symptoms?

 

4. List your visual symptoms

 

5. List your physical and mental symptoms.

 

6. Have you remained drug free since hppd? Please specify if you still consume alcohol, caffeine, etc.

 

7. How long did it take for your hppd to reach a baseline?

 

8. Timeline of your symptoms?

 

9. Did your symptoms 'naturally' get worse?

 

10. What external factors made your symptoms permanently worse?

 

11. What external factors made your symptoms temporarily worse?

 

12. Any improvements? What factors? Timeline of improvement?

 

 

Short answers first and then explanations(if you want) preferred. 

 

1. Prior to hppd, what was your drug experience

 

daily pot smoker, 2 mushroom trips, 3 lsd trips, 10 mdma.

 

2. How long have you had hppd? 

 

2months.

 

3. What triggered the start of your symptoms?

 

I think pot brownie triggered body symptoms

Medication i took for body symptoms triggered visual symptoms.

 

I did not know i had hppd until i got visual symptoms. Though i always had some very mild text movement since my first lsd, i assumed pot kept it alive.

 

4. List your visual symptoms

 

ghosting, pot vision, blue entoptic(sky sperm), floaters , some sort of tint. (it feels like there is transparent shadow tint but very mild. kind of like a shadow mid air. (maybe its really unnoticable visual snow?), mild tracers, mild afterimage.

It seems like im the only one without visual snow. Weird.

 

5. List your physical and mental symptoms.

Random body aches, head pressure, shrinked blood vessels in brain, 140 blood pressure, 100 pulse (anxiety?), tinnitus, feels like body is sleeping and head is awake, body tremors when waking up, blood rush standing up, mild anxiety? pressure behind eye., weakened legs?

 

6. Have you remained drug free since hppd? Please specify if you still consume alcohol, caffeine, etc.

 

excluding medications, yes. few weeks of no caffeine, 7 weeks of no alcohol, couple weeks of no sweets(juice, junkfood, etc), 10 days into no flour, fried stuff, etc.

 

7. How long did it take for your hppd to reach a baseline?

 

Im only 1-2 month in so I cant say if i reached baseline yet. 

 

8. Timeline of your symptoms?

 

1-30 days month body aches, kind of worrying(but not heart racing anxiety) resulting from not knowing why i was sick. 30-50 days ghosting, starbursting, shadow vision, blood rushing, 50-60 days mild anxiety, tinnitus, racing thoughts.

 

9. Did your symptoms 'naturally' get worse?

 

I think all my worsened symptoms were triggered by medication.

 

10. What external factors made your symptoms permanently worse?

 

medications mentioned before, and i THINK ciprofloxacin for my prostate infection caused my tinnitus and mild anxiety. (cant say for sure though)

 

11. What external factors made your symptoms temporarily worse?

 

anxiety perhaps.

 

12. Any improvements? What factors? Timeline of improvement?

 

After a massagist (not your common one) massaged my head[blood vessels] (he was able to notice my blood vessels had shrinked which was confirmed by hospital but i didnt tell him. Though i did tell him my symptoms of head pressure and not being able to sleep due to my brain remaining conscious) That day he told me i would be able to sleep from now on and my anxiety also was somewhat relieved. I have a pulse checker at home and it did show lowering of resting pulse.

 

 

 

I always had mild text dance since first lsd and assumed it was because i smoked pot daily. After pot brownie at the airport (which also marked my sobriety) before a plane ride, I started with some body aches, fatigue, stomach infection. Took some medications(paracetamol, clebopride, clotiazepam) for body aches and such which turned out to be related to cannabinoid system, dopamine antagonist, and gabaa agonist. All which are closely related with hppd but i didnt know i had/prone to hppd at the time. When taking this medication is when i started to notice visual symptoms.

 

 

 

Yesterday, I went out with my friends for the first time since my sickness. I have a pretty good 15+ group of friends which i have no hesitation telling them about my hppd. So when i was out i kept on looking at led lights, and such cuz there was so many and they were teasing me like i was a fucking mosquito lol. During the whole night of looking at lights, i guess i sort of accepted it was always going to be there and became content with it. (we'll see) .

 

However im sort of scared that i am not at my baseline yet since many users have reported worsening of symptoms over many months. I really think i would freak the fuck out if i experienced DP/DR and visual snow. I dont know how you guys do it. Lots of respect. 

 

Also, having something to do makes me feel better, even if thats spending time at hppdonline. but sometimes even if im watching tv, i can only concentrate on my hppd. i guess thats anxiety? 

 

[etardnow]

oh and i forgot to mention that, today my legs were kind of sore like i worked out and kind of exhausted. I guess its because i havent been out that long in a month or two? or could this be a symptom of hppd.

 

I feel pretty shitty and worthless in the morning but once i take the initiative to get out of bed and go outside, i feel pretty content. 

[etardnow]

OK WTF. i just fainted from orthostatic hypotension(blood rush). the blood rush that has been common for me these days wasnt any severe or anything but this time i decided to put my hands on a wall. next thing i know i was on the ground leaning on the wall.

 

I was in a dream like state, some random fast thought/dream for the 1-2 second i was out. I thought is this DR/DP??? but probably not. 

 

It's called Vasovagal syncope and though the cause is probably from the orthostatic hypotension, its not surprising to see that serotonin level is also listed as a cause. 

 

Its interesting to see that : 

Prior to losing consciousness, the individual frequently experiences early signs of symptoms such as lightheaded, nausea, the feeling of being extremely hot or cold (accompanied by sweating), ringing in the ears (tinnitus), an uncomfortable feeling in the heart, fuzzy thoughts, confusion, a slight inability to speak/form words (sometimes combined with mild stuttering), weakness and visual disturbances such as lights seeming too bright, fuzzy or tunnel vision, black cloud-like spots in vision, and a feeling of nervousness can occur as well.

 

excluding lightheaded ness and speech problem, i had all those symptoms for quite sometime which i blamed on HPPD. This again supports my theory of blood circulation problem causing hppd. 

 

Fuck i didnt mean to make this thread into another one of my speculation thread, sry. 

[onedayillsailagain]

Haha no worries about the fainting man. I've had that a couple of times too. Somehow I've just been able to limit it. IME, anxiety or agitation tends to lower your threshold for staying upright when having orthostatic hypotension. Which is why I fucking hate when people get all scared-faced when I get it. But anyway, whenever I get it now, I just think (or say) "wheeeeeeee", and just kind of go with it. It helps. Also.. yeah if you feel its gonna be too much, just kind of cross your legs and sit down.. dunno how to explain that.

[etardnow]

Yeah i have no problem with the orthostatic hypotension. in fact, i kind of try my best to 'see' how dark it gets lol. Was pretty shocked since this is my first fainting in life and i can only hope that it is not a sign of my HPPD worsening.

 

I now know to sit back down again if it feels too much (though i didnt think so), and if i do faint, its best to remain down for a bit. 

[hppd33]

1. Prior to hppd, what was your drug experience

 

Mix of 3 xtc pills, $30 MDMA, 3 gram amphetamine, 30 bottles of beer, 7mg Lorazepam, 20mg lexapro, 2mg Haldol.

 

2. How long have you had hppd? 

1 year and 1 month

 

3. What triggered the start of your symptoms?

See 1

 

4. List your visual symptoms

 

Closed eye vision (worst, can not relax) floater, visual snow, blurry vision, shaking eye lids (shaking eyes)

 

5. List your physical and mental symptoms.

Depression, General anxiety disorder, paranoia, (achterdochtig, dont know the english word)

HPPD, bad case of DPD 

 

6. Have you remained drug free since hppd? Please specify if you still consume alcohol, caffeine, etc.

No drugs, only meds-klonopin. No more alcohol , caffeine yes.

 

7. How long did it take for your hppd to reach a baseline?

Its now worse then ever, close to suicide. 

 

8. Timeline of your symptoms?

 

Dunno.

9. Did your symptoms 'naturally' get worse?

 

Probably some med i take makes it worse, i think its the Seroquel.

 

10. What external factors made your symptoms permanently worse?

Stress. Socialize. too little sleep

 

11. What external factors made your symptoms temporarily worse?

 

Stress. Socialize. too little sleep

12. Any improvements? What factors? Timeline of improvement?

 

Trying to do alot of stuff were i not have to walk alot, walking makes me crazy, because i'm too DP 

I prefer biking and driving my scooter, it feels i am connected to something, which makes me kinda easy (this is DP)

 

My HPPD, the visuals i wrote above do not go away, unless i take klonopin, which makes the CEV's go away.

[onedayillsailagain]

1. Prior to hppd, what was your drug experience

Some years of partying hard with just alcohol, a few months cocaine usage which led to addiction which was quit cold-turkey without an issue. Smoked marijuana from age 13-15 daily, and a lot too. Tried speed, cocaine, salvia, and MDMA between ages of 12-14, never really had lasting issues. Smoked tobacco since I was 12, quit for a year when I was 14 or so, then started again. Have had times of complete soberness (tobacco excluded), sometimes for several months. HPPD-inducing trip was a mix of absurd amounts of Amphetamines (just handled it like it was coke.. bad idea), combined with Alcohol and XTC, and probably some weed too, can't remember.

2. How long have you had hppd? 

Feels like 200 years, but I think it's been just over a year now.

3. What triggered the start of your symptoms?

See question 1.

4. List your visual symptoms

1. Snow/static, sometimes in the "cloud" form
2. After-images (badly sometimes)
3. Warping/moving of edges/objects
4. Blurred vision
5. Flashes of light
6. Colors constantly change their hue
7. Sometimes just intermittent weird ass shit that I don't remember cause they're rare

5. List your physical and mental symptoms.

1. Anxiety
2. DP/DR
3. Severe cognitive dysfunction
4. Inability to retrieve memories experientially, rather they're just "notions"
5. Orthostatic Hypotension
6. slight Hypotension
7. Muscle pain
8. Myoclonic jerks and sometimes weird twitches
9. Trouble walking
10. General weakness of body.. Don't feel "strong" like I used to
11. Intermittent insomnia
12. Some kind of respiratory depression; feeling like my breathing is obstructed and shallow.. can't take a breath of relief
13. Speech issues.. fluidity and pronunciation have suffered greatly. Words seem very foreign at times, and it feels like I've lost control of my tongue.
14. Zero libido No ED though, haha.
15. Motor-dysfunction. Precision is hard. Handwriting has suffered from this, for example. I frequently spill or choke on drinks and food.

6. Have you remained drug free since hppd? Please specify if you still consume alcohol, caffeine, etc.

At first, no. I don't remember to good though. I think I did speed once more after, which led to a horrible psychotic panic attack. Did XTC once more also I think.. thought maybe if I was in that same state I could fix shit. So naive. Also I tried Iboga. Did some weed, bad idea. Did Salvia once also. Had a time of drinking insane amounts of coffee, but I rarely drink it now. Also had my fair share of binge-drinking episodes, not too much though. I drink little to nothing now. Only drug I still do is tobacco, and whatever I try for HPPD.

7. How long did it take for your hppd to reach a baseline?

A good few months. It's kind of cyclical, but it's pretty baseline-ish now.

8. Timeline of your symptoms?

No comprendo.

9. Did your symptoms 'naturally' get worse?

Not really. It just sucked ass from day 1.

10. What external factors made your symptoms permanently worse?

Maybe the drugs I took in my "well, might as well fuck up everything now" fase. But I doubt it.. nothing noticeably worse came out of it.

11. What external factors made your symptoms temporarily worse?

Stimulants, anxiety, having to deal with idiots.

12. Any improvements? What factors? Timeline of improvement?
Yes. None lasting though.
 

• tDCS: very transient, but pretty darn profound amelioration of DP/DR and cognitive dysfunction. Felt great, but I discontinued those Frankenstein experiments when I started Keppra. Also, no effect on visuals.
• Supplements: Vitamin B, Magnesium Malate, L-Theanine (helps with caffeine induced anxiety), Kava Kava is great. Phenibut, but definitely not sustainable, and just kind of zoned me out. Modafinil improved cognition very mildly, but increased anxiety. A good breakfast helps, as does black tea.
• Keppra has helped me sleep, but not as sustainable as I initially thought. Still, it seems to help. No other benefits to report.
• Researching HPPD and coming up with theories helps keep my hope up when I feel like total and utter shit. Gives me a purpose to strive for.
• Meditation helps, but only when I'm in bed. Can't sit upright because I feel strange and uncomfortable when I become aware of how foreign my body feels. Music can help sometimes too, preferably without lyrics (sometimes lyrics get stuck in my head for days, which is fucking annoying).
• That's it I think.

[Kellen]

1. Smoked pot from ages 15 to 19 daily. Binge drinking and binge cocaine use from 17 to 27. Shrooms twice. Salvia once. MDMA a handful of times. Ketamine about 10 to 15 times.

2. I've had hppd in some form for over 10 years now. Past few years really badly. Especially the dp/dr. it wasn't until a couple months ago that I even know hppd dpdr existed.

3. My second shroom trip opened the flood gates.

4. Visual snow, light trails, auras, after images, clouds, things seem like their moving in pixelated patterns if I keep my eyes open too long

5. Head pressure, derealization, depersonalization, pressure on eyes, depression, tinnitus that can get really loud, racing thoughts I'm not in control of, Panic, sometimes it feels like someone punches me in the gut and my tinnitus and visual snow increase severely, insomnia ,I can not sleep without immovane, insane dreams that are hard to shake, body aches, digestive problems, bad memory, heavy brain fog, dizziness, my legs feel like jelly when I walk sometimes. Violent and demented thoughts. And other fun things...

6. No. I did a lot of blow, a lot. And drank even more. But it wasn't as flared up as it is now. I'm off all drugs for over a year, no booze for 3 months, quit cigs, quit caffeine

7. For me right now th dp/dr is the main issue. I literally feel out of my mind 99% of the time and so drowsy and foggy. Everything looks weird to me. Ad I get these attacks that I wldnt even call panic attacks. It's like someone slips me a hit of aid and everything gets turned up to 11. To the point where I'm screaming. Also the racing thoughts are a huge issue. At any given time its like someone is flipping tv channels in my head. So noisy. So fr me there isn't a baseline because it hasn't always been THIS bad.

8. I don't know

9. Yes they seem to get worse on their own regardless of what I do

10. Not sure

11. Stress, weather, being around certain people, being in drs offices, when I'm alone

12. I've lived with this for so long that I know there have been times when it wasn't this bad. But in this fog it's seems like I've been this way forever.

I'm currently on zero meds except immovaine. It's so raw right now but I hope it will get better.