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Serious trouble sleeping


Br0k3nS41nt
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I have been having trouble sleeping. When trying to go to sleep I have these wierd feelings in my body and brain, they are superhard to describe. Its like a numbness perhaps or a tingy feeling, when I close my eyes it feels like my body is gone and the closer I get to sleep the worse it becomes until it is unmangable and I have to sit up. Which I do and I feel even weirder like I am not myself.

It sounds like anxiety but I dont feel anxious in any traditional sense, it maybe some form of dp/dr but I still feel like myself in the world I was born into when I wake up entirely, or maybe not.

I dont know maybe it is anxiety, its just not any anxiety I have ever experienced. I just feel so weird. Anyone have sleep problems?

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i know exactly what you're talking about.

its not regular for me, but every once in a while i'll experience something similar. it feels like my body is going from very small to very massive, and i'm like weightless. or sometimes i feel like i'm sinking under my bed. Then when i sit up and open my eyes the whole world is bending and dancing out of control.

I've gotten used to it now and, like most of my other symptoms, it doesn't really bother me or prevent my getting to sleep anymore.

I used to use sleeping pills though, when it happened, if you're really freakin out.

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I know exactly how you feel as well. When it was really bad for me, when I would shut my eyes, I would see extremely bright swirling patterns that almost hurt my eyes. In addition, my whole body would kind feel like it wasn't there when I shut my eyes - almost like I was paralyzed, except that I could move whenever I wanted, if that makes any sense (which it doesn't). It's like I couldn't feel the active connection between my brain and my body. I also felt a sensation of falling as I would try to fall asleep.

All of this, during the worst of my hppd, mixed in with extremely vivid dreams, meant that I would wake up 20-30 times a night. Obviously, this meant I was getting sleep deprived which in turn made my anxiety and DP during the day worse. When I would try to go to bed, I would be so exhausted that as soon as I shut my eyes, I would start to dream, like I was in this half awake half dream state. I would shut my eyes, start to vividly dream, but still be aware that I wasn't quite sleeping. That realization would lead me to come up a level of consciousness where I would then just see the bright white patterns along with my body being uncomfortable (feeling like it wasn't there). Then I would open my eyes and sit up just to be sure things were still cool - open eyes in a dark room = visual static. Then repeat this process.

This was the worst period of my life, it actually felt like hell. This lasted for about three months and then slowly started to get better. Now I sleep as well as I ever did (which isn't that well, but at least its back to normal for me). Hang in there dude.

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when im going to sleep sometimes i feel as if i'm floating away from my body or falling, i used to wake my self up and fight it, but than i relized i should not be afraid but be curios, so now when ever that happens i try to get "as far away" from my body as i can. when i do this i shortly fall asleep from trying, so my advise would be to not fight it but explore it

your mind being disconnected from your body is not a bad thing, find peace in that you can forget about your physical body completely and only be inside your brain

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Yeah I have had a lot better time sleeping. This only happens once in a while, I have had a lot of problems sleeping even before this. I would get sleep paralysis, hypogogia(spell?), night terrors, a huge problem with insomnia, extremely vivid dreams and nightmares, all regularly to the point where none of that bothered me anymore. I do not get night terrors any more and can sleep much easier generally, but I can almost will myself into the others. Thanks for the help though means a lot

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I think I know exactly how you feel as well as well! So glad to hear that I am not the only one who feels it; I wonder why nobody talks about that on HPPD. For me it's something very weird but so hard to explain. It happens in the middle of the night each 5 days or so and is very uncomfortable. I get really weird thoughts as if I am on drugs, like, "I have to find a cure or I'm lost" / "I have to make the date of the paper be 1960 or I won't be OK" / "I have to remove the tiles behind me or something bad will happen" and it prevents me from sleeping because I am extremely worried about those thoughts, as if they were an major unsolved problem in my life. I only realize how ridiculous they are when I wake up next morning.

Often I have good thoughts like "the national council wants the date to be 1960, so it surely will remain like that!" or "I can use a hotkey to remove the tiles" which brings me really really good feelings that are indescribable too, like if everything is alright, but shortly after I have bad thoughts again like "a doctor is changing the date to after 1970!" or "the hotkey is broken" and a horrible sensation that everything is lost in my life suddenly comes in. So the whole thing is about trying to change my mind state to the good one so I can sleep, and that is done by convincing myself that the specific "topic" of the night is like it is supposed to be, (for instance, that the "date" is in fact 1960, or that mixing 2 pills is a cure). I try to find reasons for the date to be 1960 and I can even SEE a big number of the date fluctuating, accordingly to my thoughts and conclusions. Very weird and scary, isn't it?

Perhaps that has some relation with that good feeling of "everything is right" that anti-depressives bring, or with the mechanism behind good and bad trips. I never had those, but as both messes with serotonin I can see a link there. Or not; just thinking. Our brain is fascinating.

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I can have thoughts like that when I am trying to sleep, mine are just strange though. Ones that seem foreign, like what does that even mean? How and why would I ever think that?.l The thoughts scare me sometimes, but I have not had those for a while only when my anxiety was really bad in the beginning so it must have been triggered by a mixture of anxiety and my mind falling asleep.

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As a discussion of other symptoms, one thing people don't really talk about is disturbing thoughts in general. There was a while when these thoughts would just kinda pop into my head, and they were extremely disturbing. Kinda like the stuff you were never supposed to think about forcing itself into consciousness. I'm glad thats stopped. I really think that is a symptom of anxiety just like OCD is.

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Klonopin or any benzo after a period of constan use will give you disturbing thoughts, dreams,and bad sleep. So if you are not on them, try to not take them for hppd, unless it is really bad. And test out if they do you good as far as visuals and other debilitating symptoms. If not. Stop asap or addiction/withdrawel can be hell.

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  • 5 weeks later...

Hi, this is my first post in this forum.

I have had HPPD for about 8 or 9 years now.

My urge to talk about sleeping issues has led me to this thread.

I actually don´t have any hard time falling asleep, but since I got HPPD I have some disturbing symptons that are pretty hard to explain to people in general.

In my first years of the disease, I used to have dreams that were so vivid that I woke up and stayed lying in the bed still dreaming the same dream for about 1 or 2 hours.

While that occurred, I had no body feelings, and no sense of self at all. Just terror.

After a few years, after been on olanzapine, risperidone, antidepressants and clonazepan, those symptons started to mild.

By now I still get vivid dreams, but one other thing has becoming the center of my worries.

I´ve noticed that for a long time now I wake up every mourning feeling that the time has not passed - the next day is merely a continuation of the day before. I noticed I can´t tell diference in time. Everything that happens taste like past, I think I kind of lost my time perception.

I didn´t use to associate this with sleeping patterns, but as I got to study a little closer these symptoms, I started to remember what felt like to have a good night sleep - and I just recalled that it feels like being refreshed, as born again to a new day - a feeling that I haven´t had since HPPD.

I don´t know if any of you guys ever felt like this.

Rgds,

John

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Hi, this is my first post in this forum.

I have had HPPD for about 8 or 9 years now.

My urge to talk about sleeping issues has led me to this thread.

I actually don´t have any hard time falling asleep, but since I got HPPD I have some disturbing symptons that are pretty hard to explain to people in general.

In my first years of the disease, I used to have dreams that were so vivid that I woke up and stayed lying in the bed still dreaming the same dream for about 1 or 2 hours.

While that occurred, I had no body feelings, and no sense of self at all. Just terror.

After a few years, after been on olanzapine, risperidone, antidepressants and clonazepan, those symptons started to mild.

By now I still get vivid dreams, but one other thing has becoming the center of my worries.

I´ve noticed that for a long time now I wake up every mourning feeling that the time has not passed - the next day is merely a continuation of the day before. I noticed I can´t tell diference in time. Everything that happens taste like past, I think I kind of lost my time perception.

I didn´t use to associate this with sleeping patterns, but as I got to study a little closer these symptoms, I started to remember what felt like to have a good night sleep - and I just recalled that it feels like being refreshed, as born again to a new day - a feeling that I haven´t had since HPPD.

I don´t know if any of you guys ever felt like this.

Rgds,

John

I hate this aspect of the disorder. It feels like time has been molded into one perceivable period and it drives me insane.

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