Meadow Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 Hello, this question is really hard to answer for me. My boyfriend always asks me what he can do for me. Especially when I have lots of mental probs like DP/DR or a huge anxiety. He always thinks I am mad at him for something when I act like I do when those symptoms increase, but I always explain him, what's wrong. I don't think he understands everything or he imagines it in a wrong way. This morning I told him, he should hug me and tell me that I am not going insane. Last evening I was really sunk into myself, so I managed it to not freak out, but he worries so much about me... What can I tell him? He does only know about some symptoms, because he would be really freaked out if he knew everything that's goingon in my head... Anyone has experience with stuff like that? (sorry if here is alreadya thread like this, but I couldn't find one) 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey_magic Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 I feel for you. Im the same. We should just have a big sticker on our foreheads saying 'fragile, handle with care'. Obviously he wont be able to understand or get his head round it, but he just needs to understanf there will be tough times and easier times. And he just needs to be there when it gets tough for you and not get frustrated he cant make it go away. I think partners of hppdrs just get frustrated they cant get in your head to help. But just being there is help in itself. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgrade Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 I am slowly coming out of HPPD and I still don't "handle" other people's HPPD properly. It's very hard because you have to be very understanding, empathetic and "soft". Tell him that you need support because you feel like you are losing your mind. Basic affection and assurance that you are not going crazy are the most important (and tell em that). Give him all the information (medically) so that he can relate somewhat to the symtoms. Tell him it's like: aliens have sucked your brain out of your skull and now you are barely functioning on an animal-level. That one should work. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 I definately agree, I find it hard cos im single, my parents dont really help and most of my friends left the area. I just want a hug, told itl be ok soon and im not insane. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey_magic Posted July 29, 2012 Report Share Posted July 29, 2012 I've had that and it's by far the worst thing about hppd (out a fair list). Where it feels like your personality is being sucked out your head into the cosmos. Scary shit. And then it pops back in like you've been underwater for minutes and you just need a lungfull of air. Feels like a seizure in a way but what do I know. Maybe aliens could sort it out lol. If they abducted me They'd run a mile with their phychic powers if they could see inside my head. They'd have to wear special helmets on their big domes to block it out like magneto. Aye. Having a bird helps euan. Sort it out lol. You end up being to emotionally reliant on them though and cause we tend to overanalyse ourselves and other people in a close relationship (well, I do anyway) it can be a bit of a heidfuck. I've had three long term relationships that's lasted a year or over ( and a few mini ones 6 months or less) and I've loved every one of them but hppd hasn't helped matters at times. Sometimes I just take solace that it makes me unique and birds tend not to forget me for good or bad.lol. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgrade Posted August 14, 2012 Report Share Posted August 14, 2012 Without HPPD, i was a Don Juan. With initial HPPD, pseudo-psychosis, i was a really f'k'n crazy Don Juan that didn't want to leave the house. And as a recovering HPPD guy, I am a Don Schmon: just a plain loser who doesn't like to use the mirror. lol......... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadow Posted August 15, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 the analyzing thingis the same with me. Kind of annoying sometimes... the alien story is really cool and I would understand it (I guess) but my boyfriend...well... after a few minutes he seemed as if he'd forget what I said and everything was like before. Right now I am at my home and he is at his (both of us are 17 and living with parents) because I couldn't stand that tension in the air any longer. I know running away is no solution, but I felt like being torn into thousand little pieces. Had also this headpressure thing and he went listening to music although I told him that I want him near me... Now I do feel a bit better, cause I ate a little (at their home I get hardly anything to eat (I am vegan and they eat everything and the only plants they know are tomatoes and wheat^^). My room is also kind of dark, this summer brightness kills me too... I just don't understand him. Is it really that hard to remember that I feel like I do not because of him but for other reasons? If you call these reasons aliens or drugsdoesn't matter, I guess. He always asks me what he shall do. Where the hell may I know that from??? I don't even really know what I myself can do to make me feel better... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgrade Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 You are caught in a bad situation because you feel bad and nobody can really help you for the time-being. Only someone who has experienced what you are experiencing would understand completely your situation. In some ways you can liken it to trying to describe cancer to a healthy teenager; it's so far from their reality that relating seems near impossible. Think when you were 100% sane and healthy, and you find one of your distant friends being institutionalized; you probably wouldn't visit them because the idea of that happening is such a "far-out" thought that generally you can't be bothered with it. But now that you have experienced a taste of the abyss, it makes you want to volunteer your time to help these people who are losing their minds. Until your bf has experienced anything comparable to HPPD etc., he will always have a hard time relating to you. Affection is the key and assurance that everything is going to go alright. It sounds like i am reiterating, but these are ones of the only things that both of you can relate to and understand; give it a lot of time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgrade Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 Also the way things look to other people: you may seem "crazy" (i.e.---low light, vegan, feeling bad/anxious all the time). Plus you are faced with the reality of sexual/social tension and that you are a submissive female animal and that you feel threatened in some way. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
windscar Posted August 17, 2012 Report Share Posted August 17, 2012 This morning I told him, he should hug me and tell me that I am not going insane. None of us is going insane. *hugs* 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadow Posted August 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 18, 2012 None of us is going insane. *hugs* thanks a lot. You made me smile and this is something special this morning... because I am about to face one week without my boyfriend, he went already in night to see some friends kind of far away, too far to go there by train if I feel too lonely. (Last weekend I got by train to him, but it was just about 1 hour away...) I need to find some distraction and I am very glad that this forum is here again, I'd really needed it, wehn it was down... everything would have been so much easier, but hey, I survived. just as always. That thought is very calming for me. Just looking back at everything I survived. I can't be as weak as everyone sees me. I went multiple times through hell and I am still here and smile because of online-hugs 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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