Dancetrooper

oh yeah, avoiding drugs was too late, i had a list of drugs id liked to take, just finished it, wasn´t the best idea of me :F I tryed to stop smoking weed* ( I´m also stoned since 4 years every day now, i´m kind of a "Broker" for weed, if anyone needs some i just take a little "Tax" for it so i dont have to pay my consume). * but if you only have friends wich smoke weed you can forget about that. Ist schwer hier vernünftige leute zu finden in Braunschweig ...did it got better to you by avoiding the drugs?....I just stopped after my drug-list and noticed then that i have a snowy-sight (before finishing it i hadn´t snowy-sight), maybe the result of the whole shit-list...god i was so stupid -.-.... I also have been at my Hausarzt, Dr. Schlei, just told her the history, instead saying i´m the one i said it was a friend, ...you should have seen her face, they really hate you here if you had contact to drugs... I don´t think i have anxiety or depersonalization, i´m just a little depressive that the HPPD hit me....Ich hab nur Halluzinationen, keine Charakteristische veränderung, die depression die ich grad hab kommen nicht vom LSD sondern von mir, weil ich halt noch nicht ganz darauf klar komme das es so lief ...How was your first year?....Did you noticed it got better or did you had to wait like 3 years to have clear results?

So yeah after a while i just realized: I´m fucked up, seriously. It got worse now, i just wake up and have those white points all over flickering, its so fucking annoying. Also i´m noticing how it makes myself unstable, i just think all day about it. it´s eating me that i have HPPD, i just think all day about and i dont know how to stop that. Always when i want to avert, like playing Xbox, i can play it normally yeah, but those white points are flickering to it, and that always remembers me on my HPPD, and then i think on HPPD again. Its one infinite loop, i cant avoid thinking about it. Dont know what to do...I cant go to a doctor here because they will put me in a psychatries, thinking that im crazy and dangerous to others... Also i dont have anyone i can talk to, because they cant imagine which pressure it is for me. I just thought about to tell it my mother, but she will be so disappointed and i dont want to see her crying, so ill let her in believing everythings well. But i will have to say it one day to her, so when and how?...I just read the topic "Telling Parents", but it doesn´t fits to me... I just dont want to disapoint her.... I´ve been an idiot the last weeks, not realizing how it influences me...for first not but now it just fucks me up ... Also i dont want to use benzoides or any drugs calming the HPPD, i dont think that drugs will help against drugs.... So yeah thats it i think, like always sorry for my english, and have a nice day

Yeah just doing Martifer ...Only consuming weed, since 2 years now and like before this fucking list...so yeah just had all trips i wanted, finished the list now .....So i have to say : Writing this list was stupid....Doing that list even more....But seriously, those drugs just are too much...its too freakin hardcore, it´s impossible to stay stable if you take this shit....After all this shit ive taken i can say: It wasn´t worth.... i will have to live with this shit now for around 40 years, yeah hate me for saying that i like it sometimes, but believe me in around a half year ill get so sick of this shit....i know alice-acid, i shouldnt experiment with, but i had.... So a BIG NO , i won´t carry on like this, as mentioned the flexx was my last trip.... you know, i just wanted to make my expieriences....... Now thats what ive got from my expierinces, i think thats hard enough...but im just glad that i dont have an all-time HPPD, like waking up and whoooo.... Yeah say i´m an idiot, because i am And you know what?..I´m proud on it! Life still goes on, life still is good so i only can expect good from life....

As said, nothing changed on it only the lsd fucked me up, my hppd didn´t got worse after taking those drugs, only lsd fucked me up ...yeah so just have token the flexx yesterday, all i can say it sucks hard, wasnt a good felling...but letting myself in knowing it can´t get worse is the best thing i can do....so for me it is...

I imagined thos all, i thought about 2 weeks on it i was crying 2 days, but at the end i just had luck and all went how it is now, of all things ive taken, nothing was worse than this fucking half ticket. don´t want to let LSD standing good, damn, it´s fucking bad and youre risking yourself with it,so dont take it....you know i just looked into the mirror on my opium re trip, that was the meaningfllest moment in my life, i will never forget it, my face doubled to a side and was moving, .....i even wasnt able anymore to look myself into my face, ..just thought: look how youre ending in the last year....think about if you even cant see yourself normally....it just let me know how it would be...anyways it went the next day and i was the happyest guy on this world, i will delete the mephydron and C2..but im young and stupid i m goingb to ty the flexx, then ive taken all i wanted....so yeah end of the story is : I will make my lat flexx trip, then i will consume only weed, (as mentioned im taking it since 2 years now, i think its the most addictive drug ..besides crack ..uhh)

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Avoid hard drugs? 100%, i´ve got enough from the fucking drugs....I´m still smoking weed(since 2 years everyday now), but that doen´s influences much. ( it´s easyer to cause the flash on a stoney or drunk only )...i will jump the doc, i´m feeling great, i even can say i´m happier then ever before....So i just looked alot of the posts and themes here, but i dont see anyone having my symptomps..(visuals and so on sure, but no "switch-effect") i want information on this, because i cant imagine how it should work after seeing all others that can´t influence their HPPD-"Trip"....I have to say, i always only tooked a half "Ticket", and only tooked it twice..... On my second Trip i just wished myself,( i´m foolish), that my wall also should move AFTER the trip....so yeah a week after my flash i tryed to "let the wall move" and it worked....so i just tested all my symptoms....first i tried it out on the wall, it started to move.....then the wall again, this time with music...the symstomps are influenced by the music, funny ....then i tried it at real normal situations, like at work or in the city..at work i also could cause them...but i cant cause flashs in the city, because i cant do visuals on so much moving people.....if i´m walking i can´t flash myself, only if i stand still or sit it works.... if someone in my room is moving, i can´t cause a flash, only if there´s really low movement around....so after noticing that i can control it, i just informed on the net and landed here.....i just read the first time HppD and didn´t know what it was......so after reading alot of topics, i wasn´t sure what i had....maybe a psychosys, produced by me or really HPPD...but i can´t call it annoying or bad like others here....maybe some of you wake up and instanly have their symptoms, ( I couldn´t hold that pressure, respect to you, seriously) but i´m not having that.....after the LSD-trip i noticed the depersonalization, but it went after a day (which i´m really happy about, a part of me was missing, a really bad feeling)... I´m sorry that i´m just talking about my symptoms, but i want this clear .....So anyways, if you believe it or not, i´m happy i did this, i´m happy how it ended, i like my symptoms, i´m serious, i like them....if i wouldn´t be able to control them i would kill myself, seriously, i can´t understand how some of you can hold that all... I´m sure like you said before, if i wouldn´t care about it, it would go away....but i don´t want it to go away I´will try next month to stop smoking weed and coffee, alc and nikotin, to see if i can cause them still after the "cleanage" Anyways: I´m really happy that this forum exists, i didn´t found better help, information and honest people then here, great community If you made it down here, thanks for reading, and don´t forget, every opinion is important !.

Hello guys, i already posted a bit of this text as a guest, (also DTrooper), just thought let´s make a new topic to introduce myself: ...I´m 19 years Old, male, born in spain living in germany now...I have a Job, a Flat, everything´s going well....Before 2 Months i tripped some LSD...i think (really don´t know) i also have HPPD, after taking lsd 2 times...it´s not like you think, everything is (almost) normal...i can cause flashbacks when i want and stop them when i want....it´s really strange, if i stare at a grafitti, nothing happens...if i wish myself it should move it does...if i wish myself it should stop, it stop´s.... I can control it completely....I just lived a month like always, without making a flashback, now after a month without flashbacks i still can cause them, but how said i can completely control it....So i´m really lucky about that i can control it, i won´t take it anymore, i don´t have to, i can cause it anytime i want, and stop it anytime i want...sounds stupid, you may won´t believe, i had alot of luck.....anyways i know it could have been worse, just fucking happy about it all happened like this, i won´t take hard drugs anymore. I only tripped LSD twice, after first taking i just got HDDP on my Grafitti-wall: two days after my first trip i still saw the grafitti moving...i just thought ok just a wall, it will go away... the second trip got me to my level now: i can cause Flashs when i want, just noticed it a week after consuming. seriously i´m not annyoed by it because it doesn´t influences me, if i dont´want the flash it doen´t comes, i dont wake up and instantly a flash is starting, everything is normal like always just that i can give myself a flash... i´m going crazy about this, just have to realize its HPPD, maybe it will get worse, who knows. So here´s the list of my symptoms: Flashback only starts if i wish myself a flashback. I can stop it immediatly when i want. The Flashback causes: Flag-movíng, (also to music) Kind of "doubling" the object. Kind of looking deeper and deeper to the object. No changes on hearing music, or intensed colours No depersonalization, Floaters or derealization. No changes about my charakteristics, just asked my friends everything like always, i also feel like always. No Panik-attacks or anything like that. It´s moving like this: http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/gallery/image/8-demonstrationg-image/ I only have Visual aftereffects from it, nothing else.... I will consider a NeuroDoc in the next week, hopefully theyll know what is going on... Anyone having the same?....