Puppeteer

Yeah. There are a lot of nootropics out there, especially herbal ones, which seem to only provide minimal, subtle benefits compared to more potent options, and I think brahmi's one of them. If it doesn't conflict with anything in your existing stack and it definitely isn't doing anything bad, it can't hurt, but it's probably unlikely to do anything worthwhile on its own.

Very interested to hear how d-cycloserine goes. Though, won't it arrive at a similar time to the NSI you ordered off eBay?

I tried it last year, before my second MDMA trip and a month or so of Ritalin, and it gave me intense brain fog. Thought I'd try it again earlier this year from a more reputable source at a lower dose, got the same thing. Doesn't seem like it's for me, unfortunately. The memory improvement would've been a blessing.

Uhhh, you'd really be better off looking on Longecity or mindandmuscle or something I think. Very few people on here have used Phenibut, let alone Liftmode's specific stuff. Newmind is owned by Liftmode, and I can attest to their tianeptine being genuine, if that's anything to go by.

HPPD'ers have found NMDA antagonism provides symptom relief. My current understanding of the NMDA receptor is that it is an important 'gate' that mediates long term plasticity and memory; the gate which probably mediates our long term modifications of neurochemistry. Blocking this gate might stop this long term damage 'feeding back' and producing symptoms. But, blocking this gate will, for sure, impact long term memory and NMDA antagonists e.g ketamine produce schizophrenic symptoms (hmm). There are loads of studies in that thread that show this. It depends on how bad your symptoms are, you might find it gives you valuable symptom relief that makes life just that bit more bearable. But, it might impact the ability to make beneficial long term adjustments to your brain. My proposal for treatment, 'chemically induced fear extinction', does not involve forgetting traumatic memories (e.g acid-like visuals) but creating new ones. They have shown in studies, which are in that thread, that this is how fear extinction works. So I suggest to leave this receptor as available as possible, for the sake of future neuroplasticity.

In honesty, I am not quite sure about my theory until I understand things on a cellular level, but I think the reasoning based on the studies works.

Many people have reported recovering largely from ignoring the visuals and just accepting them, keeping their mind occupied. I imagine this is a kind of fear extinction; learning how to deal with something that has marked your mind; like witnessing a death or being threatened. You don't forget this in PTSD recovery, but learn not to react whenever you see a body lying on the floor, or someone holding a knife.

I did see that regarding d-cycloserine, but I would prefer something more pure.

I cannot be sure how much of it is due to Keppra, but I am quite sure most of the recent developments are largely to do with it. Everyday, I take 2 grams vit c, a vitamin b complex, 450mg magnesium, 500mg calcium, 50mg manganese, 400-800mg ALCAR + 200-400mg alpha lipoic acid, 400mg SAMe (doctor's best), 500-1,500mg bacopa monneiri, I drink lion's mane tea and have magnesium baths. Notice some of my doses might seem quite high. Some of these supps were for lowering histamine levels, and seems to have helped my general feeling of well being (which is hard to separate from my 'HPPD'). I have wondered if there is a link between my HPPD and histamine levels. My noticeable histadelic symptoms began at the same time as I got HPPD. If you want me to discuss any of those things in particular, why I am taking them, let me know. It is worth mentioning that ALCAR seems to do a lot for me. Actually, anything that touches choline helps (ODISA  )

I am not sure what happened to my introduction post.. I haven't been able to find it. Such a shame because I want to compare things to back then...

 

Good luck man! I got some inositol in to trial but started something else first. What doses are you thinking of doing? The high 14-18g (IIRC) ? The only thing is consuming that much of it.. ugh. Have you looked into DMAE?

I'm afraid I don't currently possess the intellectual wherewithal to respond as analytically and constructively as I might like, but in short, I think the theory that NMDA antagonists are palliative in the short-term but potentially harmful to long-term repair sounds pretty watertight. There doesn't seem to be any evidence to suggest that NMDA-antagonism is a sustainable long term solution. The role of benzos seems to be similar - immediate and often significant relief, but nothing lasting and a variety of side-effects manifesting over time. Naturally their MOA is completely different, but I wonder whether they're potentially inhibiting recovery as well.

Regarding fear extinction - I won't pretend to really understand the principles behind it, but I recall it popping up in my research of 7,8-DHF. I'd like to know what you think of this study.

I haven't really done much thorough experimentation with cholinergics - perhaps I'll revisit ALCAR in the weeks leading up to NSI-189 arriving. Have you tried CDP-choline at all? In addition to increasing acetylcholine synthesis it also apparently attenuate declines in dopamine secretion due to neurological damage and increases dopamine receptor densities over time. Definitely sounds like it could be useful in certain HPPD cases. Also, do you have an opinion on the Uridine + choline + DHA stack?

In that case, would you mind briefly describing your experience with HPPD?

Definitely a lot of interesting info to sort through there! I'm reading through it at the moment. Pretty much killed the mild interest I've had in pursuing NMDA antagonism, haha. Presumably you saw Odisa's post in your thread, but Newmind are stocking d-cycloserine now, if you're interested in buying it.

Yeah, bit of a bummer, but that's how it goes. I'm glad to have given it a shot at least! I see in your status that you're doing quite well on Keppra. That's awesome! A couple of questions: Is that 70-80% recovery due completely to Keppra? What else are you taking currently? Also, is there any chance you could link me to wherever you've detailed your HPPD experience (cause, symptoms, etc.)?

After some further reading I believe I have yet another reason to think that hippocampal damage is a significant factor in my condition, and thus that NSI is likely to provide at least some improvement. The hippocampus plays a significant role in spatial memory and navigation:

 

It is a frequent observation that without a fully functional hippocampus, humans may not remember where they have been and how to get where they are going: Getting lost is one of the most common symptoms of amnesia.^[31] Studies with animals have shown that an intact hippocampus is required for initial learning and long-term retention of some spatial memory tasks, in particular ones that require finding the way to a hidden goal.^{[32][33][34][35]} The "cognitive map hypothesis" has been further advanced by recent discoveries of head direction cells, grid cells, and border cells in several parts of the rodent brain that are strongly connected to the hippocampus. - Wikipedia

Spatial memory is an area I have a great deal of difficulty in since MDMA exacerbated my HPPD. I'd never really thought to look into it specifically because I figured it just tied into the whole generally-fucked-up-cognition thing, but it's a prominent and frustrating symptom. On a few occasions I've been walking with friends trying to get to a specific place that I'll already have been to a couple of times, and they've commented on my disorientation about which streets to turn down and so on. If I'm trying to get somewhere on my own I have to frequently refer to Google Maps on my phone to an extent that is abnormal and tedious. There's a nearby town my brother and I have been going to a few time a week over the last few months to hang out (he drives, hah), but every time I think about how I'd get there myself I have great difficulty with it. It's also very prominent when playing video games with relatively complex maps, though even noticeable in just remembering, say, if there was an item or a gem or something and where it was. This general disorientation is a huge part of my apprehension about learning to drive, why I've stopped going for regular walks, etc.

It's impossible to be sure of course, especially given how incredibly minimal my understanding of all all this really is, but it seems like there's a pretty damn good case for me to specifically target hippocampal regeneration. This has me even more interested in 7,8-DHF given that it supposedly strongly promotes neurogenesis in the dentate gyrus.

I'm feeling really positive about the next couple of months as I get to try these things! Feels like the strongest lead I have yet, far more so than Keppra.

I'm certain that this song is at least partially about HPPD-like stuff.

Oh, fair enough. Why would they have it in stock? Presumably they're supplying, uh, more legitimate researchers and need to have it on hand? In any case, good to hear. I've had enough of the whole patience thing with Keppra and NSI.

The end of January is a conservative estimate of when it'll be shipped out? That's pretty impressive! Such a relatively-short synthesis period, at least compared to NSI-189. Can't help but feel a bit skeptical, hah.

Is there any estimation of when it's likely to ship out, and when the group buy will stop accepting new participants? Ideally I'd like to be done with NSI-189 before considering this... Too many promising medications, not enough cash, hah.

Done the Ubuntu thing before and the difficulty with gaming (Wine on a shitty laptop ain't great) was a dealbreaker, hah. Plus I was/am too lazy to learn2bash. Windows is where it's at for me, I'm afraid!

And it seems odd that it would be malware given that it only happens when navigating to HPPDonline from Google. Why would that be the case? I seem to recall encountering it on other PCs as well but, of course, memory's foggy. I ran a complete scan with Microsoft Security Essentials and didn't find anything that might be responsible (caught a couple other things though, so thanks for the reminder!). It'd be great if more people could chime in to confirm whether or not it's a server-side issue. 

Funny story - undoubtedly assisted by HPPD absent-mindedness, I managed to accidentally switch from Firefox to Chrome without noticing at first because one day the Firefox icon just vanished from my taskbar and I guess I just automatically went for the browser that was still there. Eventually I just kind of got used to it and tracked down all my old extensions for Chrome instead of going through the hassle of readjusting to FF, hah. I have since managed to acquire a few of those lovely "taskbar/video saver/purchase-assisting" adware extensions that latch on to all of your browsers, god knows how, and while I've nerfed them in Chrome, whenever I open up FF for whatever reason a bunch of them are still there and it makes it pretty unpleasant to use. I should probably just bite the bullet and go through the minute effort of sorting it out. Anyhow, with maximum privacy settings, I don't see why Chrome should really be so bad?

This has prompted me to look into alternative, privacy-conscious browsers - I used to use SRware Iron - and in doing so I've stumbled upon Comodo IceDragon, which seems brilliant - I'm making the switch to it currently. You might be interested: http://download.cnet.com/Comodo-IceDragon/3000-2356_4-75856204.html

Can't see anything regarding price in that group buy thread. How much did that 1g set you back?

I don't want to believe it's been almost four months, fuck. I think I can safely say that I've given this a decent trial, at least. Reached 200mg to no avail, currently on 150mg, and calling it quits.

Good to hear your experience with it has been relatively positive! I hope it continues that way. Really wish I could just bloody get my hands on some to just to tick it off the bloody list once and for all.

Lamotrigine, well, to be brief, not so great. I'll update my thread in the Pharmacological/Medication subforum.

Where on earth do you get that much magnesium for a reasonable price?

Sleep is a very finely tuned process and people tend to underestimate both its complexity and importance. A lot of things will knock you out stone cold but have you wake up feeling worse than if you'd only had a few hours of "normal" sleep. I think medications should only be turned to after you've tried all the alternatives, because you might have other underlying issues contributing to your sleep issues that drugs might just cover up rather than fix.

"Sleep hygiene" is crucial - regular sleep time, reduced light exposure, etc. etc. Check out this video for a better explanation from someone credible:

You might consider a small dose of melatonin - 1mg or less, cycled to avoid downregulation/potential adverse effects. You won't get the sudden knockout effect that antihistamines/benzos give, but it does work and encourages normal sleep over time when combined with good sleep habits.

Agomelatine is a relatively new prescription drug you might look into as well: a "melatonergic antidepressant" with a similar safety profile/MOA to melatonin with a bunch of additional benefits. I've had a subtle but positive experience with it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agomelatine There aren't any generics available yet unfortunately so it may be a bit costly to acquire.

Good luck.

Syntheso, anything much to report on Keppra?

Yeah, anxiety and depression at there worst make it impossible to imagine a positive future. At the start of this year I was essentially reduced to enduring the pain of every coming moment, and the only thing keeping me from suicide was knowing that there was a good possibility that that pain could be fixed, that I could eventually be happy again.

It's so odd that things like ECT, tDCS, and other non-pharmaceutical treatments that show a lot of promise are so rarely employed. People who aren't responding well to medications are just bombarded with more and more over months and years in the hope that one of them will work, and these other options are never on the table. Boggling.

I was reading something earlier where someone said "saying depression is caused by a serotonin deficiency is like saying a headache is caused by an aspirin deficiency", and went on to suggest that the neurogenesis SSRIs promote probably plays a considerable role in their improvement of mood, hence that they can take quite a while to "kick in".Therefore a drug designed specifically to cause the same neurogenesis at an increased rate ought to be very useful for mood disorders, which is what's being seen in NSI-189 trials.

To my knowledge, nobody with HPPD has reported on their experience with NSI-189 - lord knows if anyone with HPPD has trialed it at all. While anecdotal reports ought to be taken with a grain of salt, there have been numerous accounts from various intelligent, respectable Longecity members of it greatly reducing symptoms of MDD and PTSD, with those improvements lasting beyond the treatment period. (I'll add links to those when I'm less tired if I can remember, but people start sharing their experiences in the main NSI-189 thread on Longecity after about page 30 IIRC). These improvements, while not happening immediately, definitely became noticeable within the first month or two - I don't know that anyone has had access to more than a few month's worth at the "standard" dosage rate.

While the primary symptoms of HPPD may not be associated with the hippocampus, I think it's fair to say that a lot of HPPD sufferers have likely suffered some hippocampal damage - anxiety and depression, MDMA neurotoxicity, PTSD, etc. Even if that damage isn't connected to HPPD, removing a hippocampal atrophy-related disorder from one's situation would certainly make coping with HPPD a lot easier.

As far as carcinogenesis, someone on Longecity received this response to an inquiry about it from Neuralstem's CEO Richard Garr:

"thanks for the note and your interest in our programs.  Of course the ultimate answer to your question can only come through extensive, well run clinical trials.  In our pre clinical animal studies, both long and short term, we have never seen any signs of anything like this, not even hints.  Nor to date in any patients.  So we do not expect to see this as an issue, and we do not believe we are subjecting our trial participants to any such risk.  But again, All safety issues are the primary focus of early stage human trials."

Somewhat oblique, but relatively reassuring.

I think what it comes down to is something of a gamble. When you suffer with something like this for so long, going through all the "standard" treatments (many of which pose their own risks) with no or negligible improvement, you become more and more desperate and more and more willing to try radical solutions. Reckless, perhaps, but when the ultimatum is essentially "play it safe and endure this hell indefinitely" and "take the risk of trying something new which is probably safe that has the potential to make your situation better", I feel pretty well justified in choosing the latter. 

Oh cocks, Nymphomaniac isn't releasing on Boxing Day anymore. There goes my anti-social plans. Hah

Gosh, tell me about it. Christmas last year was an incredibly stressful experience for me. Thinking I might just bunker down and wait for all the celebrating to subside... I just can't handle the stress of interacting with my extended family; even before I had HPPD I barely got along with any of them, and now with the addition of their judgement/pity/misplaced advice/condescension etc. it's just intolerable... 

Plus, I guess just the whole atmosphere of all these people celebrating and enjoying life and love contrasts so dramatically with my depression and regret that it makes me feel considerably worse.

Thinking I might just go for a nice walk, possibly go to the movies on Boxing Day to see Nymphomaniac.

Well this has definitely renewed my interest in using the green tea powder I encapsulated a while ago... I'll add some to the usual cocktail for a few days and see if I experience the same issues I did last time...

Surely I'm not the only person who gets this? Sometimes when you click on a link to a thread here from Google, you wind up on a page like this: http://url4short.info/d59c6708 with some add for wireless routers. You can go back and click the same link and actually wind up on the site. What's the deal?

Gosh, I hate reading over my own posts. You don't really notice that you're making spelling/syntactic errors at the time, but afterwards...  

Anyhow, I digress. Do you have any insight to when the NSI will be ready apart from what VLK's posted in the Participants thread? Can't help but feel like "late December/early January" could very well mean there's a possibility of delays, then a dragged out process of it getting split up and shipped out... Really just wanna get started with it ASAP, aha. Maybe the fates will smile upon me and the neuro I'm seeing on Thursday will prescribe me Keppra, but otherwise NSI's my number one priority...

Digressing once again. Have you already transferred the cash for yours to VLK, Odisa? Did you wind up going with 5 or 10g?

I think Odisa's plan to halt Cerebrolysin treatment until after an NSI-189 trial makes a lot of sense - maximise the amount of neurons (NSI-189) for Cerebrolysin to promote synapse formation between. So even if there are ways to optimise Cere administration it'll be even more beneficial to hold of trying that stuff out until after using NSI-189. 

Did you wind up purchasing some from nyles7, Odisa?