alisa

Wow, all of you seem to have the use of much more complicated powers of deduction than have been available to me for many years. Part of my HPPD/PTSD causes my brain to go into uncontrolled hyperactivity resulting in confusion and increased HPPD symptoms, when I go deeply into the scientific processes of anything, much less the highly complex mechanisms of fungii and other chemicals on the brain and body. I'm not trying to be a smart ass. I'm sure candidiasis has some relavence here, especially when related to LSD, which was originally derived from a fungus. For me there are so many outside influences that can increase my HPPD symptoms. Being tired or thinking too much are just 2. My Hppd showed itself 40 yrs. after LSD use following surgery and being in ICU. I had been clean and sober forever and in good health. So in my case possibly general anesthesia and severe stress may have triggered this. I haven't smoked pot for 35 years. I don't know. Why did my friends who took lots more than I did never have a problem? I do know that while my friends seemed to have fun relaxed trips. I freaked out on a level that was horrifying. There is bound to be something slightly different in HPPD brains. Can you tell I'm a little pissed? I can't drive or do a lot of things I used to enjoy. I feel like I'm not even in my body. I have meds that help, Neurontin and clonidine. Having a rough time right now because I just had surgery last week which has increased my symptoms as well. Thank you all for being there. I haven't been on this site for a while. Now with all this thinking I'd better go run some warm water over my head.

I guess I just would like to know how others lives are effected by Hppd. I've had it for about a year and I'm still adjusting. Very glad this site is up again, because it's the only place I have found people who understand. The biggest change has been not being able to drive whatsoever. That is due to perceptual as well as visual stuff. But the hardest part is people have no idea what this stuff is like and I've stopped trying to explain, which works out a lot better. I have such a hard time connecting with people, but I'll never stop trying. I've discovered that hugs and some physical contact helps. I can no longer tolerate loud and angry people or a lot of drama so my circle of friends is getting smaller, but that's ok. I have a sadness too for friends I've had in the past who I'm sure had this, but were misdiagnosed and there lives were ruined as they were given a severe diagnosis like schizophrenia and became institutionalized. So while this is very hard I'm still grateful for the science that has identified this problem and may very well figure this out. I would love to hear from anyone about their experience living life with Hppd. Alisa

This is very interesting as I fit 2 of the rare phenomena associated with the subject having recurrence after 20 yrs with no drug use. I presented with abnormal visual fields and my symptoms began following surgery with general anesthesia. This is a great relief to know, because several MDs decided it was purely psychosomatic. Very glad they are doing these studies. Alisa

Hi Benny, Thanks for sharing your story. I know it can be hard to write it all down because when I do it sounds crazy, but believe me it doesn't sound crazy to me at all. And as you can see sometimes I write these long sentences where everything just runs together. My experience was with LSD in the late 1960s and I have a son your age, but even though I'm a lot older I can relate so much. I also did the MDA thing, too. Pot did weird things to me too even before LSD. It was kind of fun at first, but I often got scared and paranoid. My friends would all be having fun and I would develop this weird anxiety. Sounds like you are finding a simpler life style that I'm learning too is one of the keys to coping with Hppd. Also just knowing others can relate helps too. Take care Alisa

Hi Kaskykim, Sorry you're going through such a terrible time. Just don't give up and it will get better. If you're at all like me though you hate when people say such things,but I have been in a few med nightmares. It's really interesting how many people like us wind up in psych units. Must be a very stressful thing we have, to say the least. I remember coming off SSRIs, thought it would never get better, but it did with time. I was nuts for a while. I still would not say I'm completely sane, but who wants that anyway. Alisa