apfelsaft45

On 4/11/2022 at 7:26 PM, Hall89 said:

It's impossible to ignore the vs, floaters, bfep, ghosting, palinopsia, halos and starbursts that i have, they simply disrupt my vision too much. And no, if you got the visual snow and all the other shit it wasn't "clear" for you, you simply got used to it, but if you could get your pre-hppd vision back you would've seen what clear really looks like.

I think my brain just filtered it out somehow, i saw no single floater or afterimage for years. But never had VS etc. i hope sooner or later your brain will filter it out too

On 3/16/2022 at 12:20 PM, Hall89 said:

Sounds like it. Just another acceptance post.

maybe but you shouldnt underestimate the "acceptance" thing, i swear to god for 4 year i completely forgot that i had hppd, my brain completely ignored all the symptoms, sadly a few weeks ago i read about hppd again and since then i have all my symptoms again. If you stay of the Forums n shit, be busy etc you will completely forget about it. Its so crazy because now i look in the sky and its full of floaters etc. and the last 4 years i could look in the sky, the Ocean etc. and it was completely clear

On 3/1/2022 at 8:35 PM, Mnc said:

I HAVE HAD A LOT OF VISUAL PROBLEMS SINCE ONE BAD MDMA TRIP. Also DP/DR and some weirds nerve pain not sure if caused by that or the stress and anxiety developed. 
 

Right now I m just trying to Cop with all my symptoms but some of them are very hard to find a relief and are getting me crazy. ( floaters and ghosting the worst) I am back at work after a couple months I needed to take off because I was very depressed and now I am just trying to be brave even tough I still feel something on my life feels different mentally... 

Important Question : has  anybody developed any type of sensitivity on the beard area chin, neck or chest that seems like any touch or even the clothing or face mask feels like your own hair is puncturing your face and don’t find any relief... have tried creams, medication by my Dermathologist but nothing seems to help even tried saving but still feeling it .. don’t even know if it’s caused by hppd but it started after this bad trip and a bad parestesia of my face that long for like a day... ( before that U even did 2 MRI and everything looks good) 

maybe its just an anxiety thing, thought i "twisted" my balls during sex and for 2 weeks i had the craziest pain in my balls, with heavy sweating, heart pumping, couldnt breath because the pain was so extreme etc. and after i been to the hospital and they checked it and said its alright i never had it again. Im just trying to say that anxiety/brain can do crazy stuff without a history of anxiety or mental problems. Never had anxiety problems before and after this.

On 3/6/2022 at 11:44 PM, Deema said:

I've posted my story on threads before but the short version is that earlier in December 2020, I had a 5 gram dose of psilocybin mushrooms. I had an intense experience, beautiful and parts were traumatic towards the end. I came out of it fine however,  I believe somehow that trip ‘primed' my brain, because two months later an accidental micro dose of 0.1g was enough to trigger the onset of what would destroy my life.

 

Following the micro dose, I experienced a seizure like event and severe panic/de-realization causing me to alienate myself from those I love. The symptoms continued to progress over the months into total insomnia lasting four months in which I slept maybe 1-2 hours during that whole period, severe head pressure and uncomfortable sensations, out of body experiences, and eventually a total loss of default states of being. Around 5 months in, the chaos stabilised a little but I have returned in this completely dead, and disconnected state where I cannot function.

 

 

I struggle to describe the current state I am living in, and much of the distress has been around crisis of authenticity where I feel like I am not believed. 

 

I cannot feel sleepy, tired, or have spatial orientation of my presence. With my eyes closed, I perceive a hyper dimensional headspace, I’m dissolved back into infinite void space, and experience very psychedelic closed eye visuals etc. It’s as though I’ve completely lost my signal. 

 

I have lost the ability to feel the aliveness when I open my eyes and can’t feel the weight in my eye lids when I close my eyes, my brain has no awareness of where the front of my face is. 

( I can’t close my eyes and just rest for a second!). I do not fall asleep or wake up. I am stuck on one level. I have not fallen asleep normally, not even for a minute for over a year. I lay there all night trapped in this void space with constant vivid visuals all around and through ‘me’. 

 

 

 I've tried all the conventional (and more) forms of therapy and medication, including neurofeedback. I am open to literally anything at this point--including returning to plant medicine in the right setting if that isn't the most foolish idea ever. All I know is I can't go on like this and more than anything am desperate to be reconnected and feel human again.

 

There is a fellow with the same experience that has reached out to me online, who describes his experiences the exact same as me. Their condition was was also triggered by a micro dose one month following a high dose mushroom journey and has persisted for a year with little change.

 

 Any thoughts? 

 

 

I cannot believe I am still alive and have made it and fought this far. My heart is too shattered, and it’s unbelievable that a whole year of daily exercise, sobriety, eating and focusing my all on my healing did nothing. 

I do not feel my current state is livable and I will not be here for much longer. I have attempted to end my life and was resuscitated from a long coma. Even being in a coma did not help my symptoms. It is my greatest hope that in continuing to share my story, at least one person will be spared from the trauma I’ve experienced. Sending hope and wishing safe journeys upon those who choose to take these trips.

please dont end your life

On 12/22/2018 at 10:14 AM, mth97 said:

Hi! I recently was diagnosed with HPPD and have been struggling with it for the past 4 months. The first month was really bad— ceiling fixtures spinning, walls breathing, sound synthesizing along with really bad DP/DR. This was also happening while I was studying abroad not knowing wtf was happening to me so I had to be evacuated and sent home. After being on Klonopin and Gabapentin for the past few months, my symptoms have improved greatly. Now my only visual symptoms are visual snow, tracers when it’s dark, and auras around objects and people. While these things still bother me, it’s nothing compared to what I was experiencing 4 months ago. The thing that’s really killing me right now is the brain fog. My short term memory is awful along with basic things like remembering the names of people who I’ve known for years. I’m going to be heading back to college in the next couple of weeks and I’m really really nervous. I was wondering if anybody knows of any supplements or methods to get rid of brain fog. My college is kinda far from home so I’d like to try to get anything that could possibly help me while I’m still with family and my therapist nearby. Any suggestions are helpful . Also! I am thinking of starting Keppra but was wondering who has had good/bad experiences with it. 

- M

how its going ?

Hey HPPD Friends,

are some of yall struggling with opioid addiction because of hppd or had it before and still on it ?!

I got my HPPD from a Kratom Cold Turkey, never did lsd, mushrooms, mdma or any other "illegal" drugs.

Sadly, i started using again after a few months and now 5 years later i nearly tapered to Zero and about to jump of.

Are some of you dealing with the same problem and have any tips ? Its just very demotivating knowing that after the withdrawal and paws i have to deal with my hppd and idk, would love to hear some of yall thoughts.

excuse my english please

On 2/23/2022 at 12:38 AM, Lambchop23 said:

Holy Shit. Can’t believe I’m finally posting something after reading this thread for years. Feel like I owe it to people tho.

long story short lol did acid once nightmare bad trip. Thought all was good month later smoked a ton went right back into the trip. Best way to explain it I was in the shadow realm while my body seemed to continue moving not by my direction. I know absolutely fucked.

I was the biggest pot head ever very much engrained in me, smoked all the time after work. So just the fact I couldn’t smoke anymore was terrible but than as my anxiety increased I started having panic attacks without smoking just thinking of omg I hope I don’t start tripping outta nowhere. Tracers, floaters, whole 9. Very very bad depersonalization.

I type this to say I went thru it. Heavy heavy Xanax use was the only way I could leave my house, OxyContin just to enjoy a night out.

so it’s 2 years later I’ve cut the drugs out, occasional Xanax when I feel uneasy. Work on Wall Street ( very stressful, very testing) but you know what I stopped feeling like a victim although my life was in shambles. 
my advice please please monitor your thoughts, content you consume and please don’t fucking smoke weed.( IK it’s heart breaking)

I still am anxious at times  but through focusing on work, laying off drugs, and attacking challenges head on my life is 1000X better than it was even 8-12 months ago.

 

hope this helps someone, lord knows this took almost a year to have the guts to post

you still have the hppd symptoms ?

On 3/6/2022 at 11:14 AM, Jay1 said:

My symptoms haven't changed really since 1995, where I imagine mast cells were hardly anywhere.

atleast you look fckn young bro If your profilepic isnt from 1996, thought you are in your mit 20s

On 2/21/2022 at 7:06 PM, ManwithHope said:

Hello guys, I am a 23 year old who got HPPD from some random drug I thought was molly, but it wasn’t and sent me on a hallucinogenic journey to the next realm. I woke up the next day and nothing was the same. My reality had changed, visual snow had appeared, and I had extreme Depersonalization. For 2 years, it bothered me but it was never life destroying. However , my symptoms got worse. I got head pressure, extreme brain fog which just puts you in a horrible mood, and DP/DR and extreme depression. I felt no pleasure.  Mind you, I was using marijuana the entire time which I know is not good, but it helped me cope. So I would spend hours on this website digging for a cure. My first thought was keppra was the cure but when I started it, it made me feel even more spacey than I already was so I quit. Next I tried Zoloft at 50mg per day. For the first month, NOTHING happened. I felt the same, just empty, no emotions, no connection with who I am as a person. I thought my personality and brain was destroyed. The next month I moved up to 100MG and after about a week I woke up one day and had rushing euphoria like I was a kid again. The social anxiety that I previously had ( induced by HPPD, very social pre-hppd ) was Gone. I noticed that I was spending ALOT less time worrying about the little things in social interactions. Also, I noticed that my personality was coming back and the brain fog and head pressure had disappeared. I felt so clear headed and almost better than how I felt before hppd. After about a week, the intense euphoria settled down and the brain fog had started to come back, but not nearly as bad as before. However DP/DR, social anxiety, depression, and almost all emotional symptoms from HPPD has subsided. My personality was still there. The only thing that was bothering me was the brain fog and head pressure. So I decided to try Lamotrigine to combat the last of my symptoms. Within an hour of taking 25mg my brain fog and head pressure has subsided. I am only on day 2 so far of L, but I have made so much progress form where I was at last year, that I had to share. I feel almost 100% back to normal. I know how that sounds to you HPPDers, but I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t COMPLETELY TRUE. Your brain is not perma fried or broken. There is a chemical imbalance and with the right meds. You can balance your brain out back to normal and 100% feel like yourself again. The only symptom that I am left with is minor visual snow, but maybe with more time on L, that will fade also. Also, the visual snow just doesn’t bother as much as before. I know how that sounds when ur at rock bottom with HPPD, but it is very strange what happens when ur chemicals are balanced in ur brain. It just not an issued anymore. To conclude, NEVER LOSE HOPE. Your current emotions are temporary and there are so many possible meds that can help. Take a step towards real medication and stay strong. You can FEEL BACK TO NORMAL. God bless you all. 

congrats bro im really happy that it worked for you !!

On 8/17/2021 at 4:58 PM, Lucas said:

Yep, that's why for a while now I thought about going on a healing retreat in a remote location, fasting, meditating, exercising and sleeping. And after that have a healthier lifestyle than I do now.

A bit like when you're used to hot showers and take very cold ones for a bit, switching to warmer showers afterwards is very easy.

Camping in the Woods or nature for a few days/weeks helped me greatly, it gives you a positive view on the future with all the possible adventures. I felt like a kid again on my goonie adventure.

Its also a pretty cheap hobby

On 11/24/2021 at 2:21 AM, Lucas said:

Can't say I understood all your post, but I can testify to five things, three of them mentionned above : 
- No masturbation helps my HPPD a lot
- Zero eating temporarily helps my HPPD a lot
- Anti-histamines have helped my HPPD (but I'm scared to do experiments)

and 

- sleep deprivation temporarily cures my HPPD : 0 symptoms + feeling like before 
- clonazepam is effective

I don't know how these things are related to mast cells but you maybe will see a link. 

Some things seems physical with HPPD : mine get worse when I sit in a vehicle, especially if it vibrates a lot i.e : school buses


 

sleep deprivation helps with your symptoms ? damn, you build different tho

Hey bro, exact same symptoms here since 5 years.

Our good friend @brendan  posted this in another thread :

i found brain fog and general fatigue the symptoms most manageable with supplements.  Start with n acetyl cysteine.  Buy the powder, take a gram and work up to 5g to see if it does anything.  If it does then you can go down to a lower maintenance dose.  Also methylated b vits.  I take these Optimum Vitamin B Complex - Phoenix Nutrition sometimes bumped up with additional methyl folate, like if i drink a lot of alcohol Methyl Folate Tablets - Phoenix Nutrition. Use methyl b in case you have mthfr issues which is quite likely.  You will likely get further benefit from 5000iu vit d3 supplement and other amino acids (personally i take about a gram of nac with about 4g arginine and about 10g or less essential amino acids in the morning, too much eaa makes me drowsy probably due to tryptophan).  Hope this helps.

I will try that too, we can share our experiences here

On 2/3/2022 at 10:34 PM, MadDoc said:

@apfelsaft45

I tried Kratom once.  A friend of mine suggested I try it for anxiety approaching 15 years ago (not 100% sure of the timeline).  it made me jittery and sick to my stomach so I never tried it again.  This same friend has been using it daily since that time, though I have no idea how much he consumes, but I suspect it's not an insignificant amount.  He tried to quit and he describes it as "quitting nicotine times ten".  He also reported having minor hallucinations (carpet crawling he called it).  He said it took a full month to start to feel "normal" again.  I don't know if his situation is typical, but I thought it was worth mentioning. 

its just a typical opioid withdrawal, kratom is a opioid, wish i wouldve knew this before i started lmao

On 11/20/2021 at 2:16 PM, brendan said:

i found brain fog and general fatigue the symptoms most manageable with supplements.  Start with n acetyl cysteine.  Buy the powder, take a gram and work up to 5g to see if it does anything.  If it does then you can go down to a lower maintenance dose.  Also methylated b vits.  I take these Optimum Vitamin B Complex - Phoenix Nutrition sometimes bumped up with additional methyl folate, like if i drink a lot of alcohol Methyl Folate Tablets - Phoenix Nutrition. Use methyl b in case you have mthfr issues which is quite likely.  You will likely get further benefit from 5000iu vit d3 supplement and other amino acids (personally i take about a gram of nac with about 4g arginine and about 10g or less essential amino acids in the morning, too much eaa makes me drowsy probably due to tryptophan).  Hope this helps.

thanks brendan, i give it a try. The Brainfog is what bothers me the most with my hppd, hopefully it helps

On 12/2/2021 at 5:46 PM, ManwithHope said:

Hello everyone, I finally have got my hands on a keppra prescription after spending hours reading about other people’s success with the drug. I struggle with DP/DR, brain fog, and head pressure (forehead). I don’t really have any visuals other then visual snow and floaters. No warping or moving objects. I will keep everyone posted on my progress. 

these are my only symptoms too bro, should give it a try, is there any "natural" way to stabilize the Glutamat stuff before going to a doctor ?

On 2/23/2020 at 7:18 PM, Kris said:

I have been taking 1500mg Taurine steadily for 3 or 4 days now i was also taking 150 mg Valerian for sleep before bed and combined with the Magnesium supplement my symptoms seem to be gone (cured) all that is left is the thoughts.I was also trying to get the daily Choline recommended intake but i have doubt that had anything to do with it. Seems that trazodon was only making my recovery slower and hindering it.

Update:after separating the meds i think the valerian is the more helpful one. i might also combine it with Melissa Officianis as the article mentions combining them is more effective in normalizing levels. Currently if i stop the med i get symptoms but they are reduced from what they were originally(unbearable)

only 150mg valerian ? Here in germany they have only 600mg extracts Equipment too 3g valerian root lmao

We also need a meme page

Hey hppd buddies,

got mine for 5 years and now trying to do something for the first time.

I drank about 6-7 Coffees a day for many years and quit last week with surprisingly heavy withdrawal symptoms like heavy headache, and tiredness etc. but i also started using taurine because i read it could help. Maybe its placebo but it feels like my floaters became a bit more and the rings around the lanterns at night became brighter, do you have similiar expirience ?

And Do you think its the withdrawal or the taurine ?!

btw we need a hppd meme page

good luck yall schöne grüße from germany

On 7/31/2021 at 11:41 AM, Shady said:

Hey mate, how are your symptoms now? I've had hppd for about 5 years now and I'm considering looking into treating it again. Would you also be able to link the exact product you bought? @Samy-M Thanks mate. 

Same here, 5 years with it, forgot about it the last 4, now i remember it, seeing all this visuals again sadly, but trying cure for the first time.

I wish you good luck Samy, hopefully we achieve it.

This would explain how i got my hppd without ever taking any psychedelics. I had an kratom withdrawal, a pretty heavy one without knowing i have one, then i took a tiny line speed and shortly after i googled and realized im on withdrawl (from about 30g a day cold) and read about all the symptoms and was in such crazy fear, i was suffering for about a week it was really traumatic and a few weeks later i realized the hppd Symptoms