josht9210

Are you on any prescription meds rn?

This is nardil, an old MAOi, most of you know how the mao protein works, it prevents overall breakdown of all neurotransmitters. This one in specific has a special effect on gaba and works as a longterm benzo

On 12/9/2019 at 8:25 AM, hope1 said:

https://blogs.sciencemag.org/pipeline/archives/2019/12/05/another-shot-at-major-depression-fails

I don't think the mdd part is important, for us it could be more benefitial for anxiety, and for siezure patients in general. Minus the 34,000 cost of course 

@VisualDude

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3139029/

Worth the read

Found this on another site;

First off, a basic explanation of DHT (Dihydrotestosterone); it is an androgen (male sex hormone), like Testosterone, which rather than promoting the growth of muscle mass directly (tissue-acting), it acts via intracellular (in the cell) mechanisms to increase strength and metabolism. DHT is not very anabolic, but it is Androgenic, and thus meaning, it promotes masculine characteristics (such as a deeper voice, and growth of facial hair, body hair etc) (1).  DHT has a bad rap, since it has been claimed to cause an enlarged prostate, but if you follow the source, most of the studies saying this are linked to pharmaceutical promotion of their anti-prostate, anti-Male drug, Finasteride (Propecia) and Dustasteride(2) (3).  DHT has also been claimed to cause your hair follicles to become thin, and your hair - subsequently falls out. No. Just No. DHT has been implicated as a factor at most, more studies show that more specifically it is Zinc deficiency AND genetics that provoke male pattern baldness (4)(5).  Although Zinc deficiency causes the rise of DHT levels, it also causes increases in prolactin, and estrogen, thus the real problem here could have to do with either of those hormones. Just to clarify, Anti-ESTROGEN drugs have been used recently to treat prostate enlargement (BPH), and they are very successful, with less side-effects(6) (7) ( (9). So if they were wrong about DHT causing prostate enlargement, maybe they were wrong about DHT and hair loss too.

      DHT - HOW IT AFFECTS THE BRAIN - AND NERVOUS SYSTEM

But anyway, we got carried away. Let's go on to discuss DHT's effects in the Brain. DHT has pronounced effects on neurochemistry (it affects neurotransmitters in the brain). DHT has been shown to increase circulating epinephrine levels (adrenaline), this can cause anxiety in predisposed individuals, however, most of the time, this is not the case, since DHT also increases GABA activity in the brain, which is relaxing (10) (11) (12).   So in other words, DHT should promote A focused, calm burst of energy, which is what many users of DHT-based steroids, report as the "alpha-male" feeling (13) (14).  Dihydrotestosterone increase central and nervous system energy production by increasing not just adrenaline, but cyclic AMP (15). This molecule increase thermogenesis (fat-burning and heat production)(16).  Cyclic AMP facilitates the conversion of TSH thyroid hormone, to T4, a more potent thyroid hormone, thus, indirectly, DHT increases thyroid function (by increasing cyclic AMP) (17).

So seeing all this, DHT definitely acts as a nervous system stimulant, and a metabolic "probe", it also increases GABA.  Second to this though, it could indirectly decrease serotonin or serotonin receptors; since DHT antagonizes estrogen activity, and estrogen helps maintain the expression of serotonin receptors in the brain(18) (19). This is also consistent with DHT being shown to stop estrogen induced prolactin release(20).  This is part of the reason behind using DHT Gel to treat gynecomasita.  Clearly DHT has anti-depressant effects, since Finasteride causes depression (21) and also based on the above mentioned activity of DHT in the brain. It gives energy, it gives focus, it gives aggression.  

DHT also improves spatial working memory(22), according to some studies, by altering NMDA-receptors(23) (namely increasing), and by improving Calcium-induced acetylcholine release & function in the hippocampus(24)(25); a very important area of the brain involved in memory formation and spatial (directional) memory.

DHT also decreases glutamate levels and excitory outputs through other mechanisms (26) (27) (28).

Finally, Dihydrotestosterone, or it's metabolite 3-alpha-Diol; downregulate alpha-adrenergic receptor distribution, leading to more inhibitory adrenergic (adrenaline influence)(29) (30) (31). For those who don't know, adrenaline can activate an 'alpha receptor' - which stimulates the nervous system, vasoconstricting blood vessels and arteries, raising blood pressure, or it can activate a beta-adrenergic receptor, generally vasodilating artieries, but yet, increasing heart contractile force. This all might just be another result or a reflection of what is mentioned above, that DHT increases epinephrine, GABA, and cyclic AMP.  However, in a separate study, Testosterone (without specificity), had upregulated alpha-1-receptors to protect the heart against ischemia(32).  Is this an effect of Testosterone or it's metabolites though. Likely, it doesn't matter, it was probably case coincidental, but may indicate that if blood pressure falls too low, Testosterone can increase it to maintain homeostasis.

In yet another study however, DHT has been shown to increase alpha-1-adrenergic expression, whereas Estrogen decreased the expression/density(33). This again reflects the need for DHT and Estrogen to be kept in balance, as both promote vasodilation through different pathways, however, since Alpha-1-receptors are incredibly potent Vasoconstrictors, DHT + an OVERALL deficiency in nitric oxide may actually promote high blood pressure, especially in coordination with estrogen deficiency. Interestingly, Alpha-1-receptor activation may increase serotonin activity at the 5-HT1A receptor(34)(35), this is an auto-receptor that ironically seems to possess anxiolytic (serotonin-typical) effects. 5-HT1A activation has shown to help social anxiety disorder, but worsen anticipation anxieties(36)(37). In another study, DHT/Androgens also facilitated serotonin 5-HT1A/1B agonist-decreases in aggression, which is controversial, although it appears that estrogen allows for intermale aggression by downregulating serotonin 5-HT1A/1B activity(38)(39). Thus DHT's only pro-aggressive propertly lies in it's adrenaline promoting effect, and not with serotonin.    

So DHT via multiple pathways increases nervous system strength, DHT increases epinephrine levels, decreases prolactin (assuming you have enough dopamine production as well), increases GABA, may decrease serotonin and serotonin receptors. All-round this means DHT has positive effects on your chemistry and nerve cells. By reducing prolactin, and estrogen, and subsequently serotonin, and also regulating catecholamines, by this, DHT can definitely increase libido, and alleviate sexual anxiety in most individuals by increasing GABA. DHT is key to many of Testosterone's brain benefits. Keep in mind though, despite positive effects on brain chemistry, this still doesn't give an excuse to OD on aromatase inhibitors, likely, because you need a little bit of estrogen (not much at all), to promote nNOS (neuronal nitric oxide synthase) production. So DHT serves as a great compliment to a little bit of brain estradiol, and a great ratio of DHT to estrogen means optimal sex drive, stamina, charisma and general masculinity.

Let's summarize in Bullets Here.

DHT regulates alpha and beta adrenergic receptors. DHT may increase alpha-1-receptor density. DHT may decrease glutamate activity and increases mGLU7 expression (which increases GABA release) DHT increases serotonin 5-HT1A receptor density by influencing A1-Adr.Receptors. DHT promotes serotonin 5-HT1A/1B activity and may reduce aggression in the presence of serotonin. Although this may easily be over ridden by the pro-adrenergic effects of DHT. DHT increases beta-endorphin release by ^ 5-HT1A receptor indirect activation. DHT facilitates the release of Epinephrine (adrenaline). DHT increases cyclic AMP. DHT blocks estrogen-induced prolactin release. DHT reduces serotonin and serotonin receptors by inhibiting estrogen influence in the Brain. (but mainly acting to oppose 5-HT2A,2C and 5-HT4 receptors) DHT increases GABA and GABA-A (neurosteroid-specific) receptor expression.  DHT increases NMDA-receptors in the Hippocampus. DHT increases Ca3 (Calcium) evoked Acetylcholine Function(AcH release). DHT increases nervous system strength and regulates blood pressure.

https://www.medpagetoday.com/neurology/seizures/83503

AED that works on both Sodium Channels & Gaba-a receptors, sounds like it has the benfits of keppra + benzo perhaps?

21 hours ago, Onemorestep said:

I am male and have taken testosterone in the past, which mad me feel better, but I am unable to get that from a doctor now. Feel free to pm me if you know a source!  
 

I know many people use in conjunction with testosterone when they have low t. I figured it would not be as effective as both but still might show me something. 
 

i have a pituitary micro are adenoma which the doctor said is “probably benign” since my hormones are “within range” but the thing about ranges... they are only helpful if you have a baseline in good health. I need to pull up my numbers but because I don’t remember them specifically, but 4 things give me pause:

 

1. many males my age have higher levels than me even if I am within normal range.

2. I’ve had MANY head injuries, which has been known to effect hormone production. 

3. I had a bad experience with oxiracetam and coluracetam which damaged my hypothalamus. I suspect this has screwed up my hpa axis somewhat. When I first began my long road to recovery in the end of 2015, I was unable to experience hunger, thirst, or sexual lust. I still have basically no circadian rhythm anymore... it’s quite taxing. 

4. before starting testosterone the first time, I was 23 and completely unable to grow any facial hair. My body hair was also sparse, and I looked probably 6 years younger than I was. Within a few months I started to grow facial hair etc. 

 

I remember being on a lowing dose of testim to try and negate the halting you mention. Not sure how well that worked. I went off of it very rapidly and was suffering from a doctor induced overdose of thyroid medication... real bad juju. I do remember feeling like utter shit but there was so much going on medically it was hard to pinpoint what was what.

 

your story is quite remarkable— and not the first tile I’ve heard tell of testosterone improving symptoms. Im so happy you’ve found some relief  we all deserve a bit of luck Id say. It’s a tough gig dealing with hppd. Thank you so much for sharing your experience; It’s so important that we do.

Hah, I went to 6 doctors and I was "within range" Basically had the t levels of a 60 year old male and I am 27. Doctors are a joke when it comes to hormones anyway, my endo told me his protocol would've been 200 MG every 2 weeks!!??? Thats 1 giant injection with a 4.5 half life meant to last 14 days??? Lol, they have no clue how to use hormones. That does more harm than good as hormone fluxuations that broad are not good for you. I personally inject small doses everyday to mimic daily production and to keep hormone levels steady.

Anyway I went out of pocket and I pay a US based Tele medicine clinic. Its expensive but I did self medicate prior with underground Testosterone. Anyway my relief is still ongoing, I'm very much just experimenting lol. E2 has a very powerful effect on neurotransmitters, I'm very intrigued and actually scared at the same time, its increased my anxiety a bit but really made me feel real again. I will pm you.

Very interesting video on migraines, centeral sensitivity, and estradials effect on the cns

13 hours ago, Onemorestep said:

Hormones are something in incredibly interested in as I could believe hypothalamic/pituitary issues could easily result from the negative brain effects of hallucinogens we are experiencing. These are very sensitive brain areas, and it’s not uncommon for those suffering from tbi, a group we share a remarkable resemblance to, to have issues with. 

 

i have some Anastrozole handy and have been considering trying it. We shall se. I need to look into it more. 

Are you a female? Anastrazole will only lower your estradial (e2) which wouldn't do much to benefit you. Infact it could make you feel worse, visuals would be the same. I have tons of estrogen blockers and they are useless unless attemping to keep e2 under control while raising testsoterone, if you are a male consider expierementing with testosterone/dht.

When you begin exogenous test you halt endogenous production, shutting down your htpa. Idk if this is good or bad but I use dhea and pregnenolone to supplement my other hormones. It is possible to use hcg to keep lh and fsh up. If you want to try test and live in the us let me know. I'm having interesting experiences and interactions with my current ssri. I still think the effect of hormones on neurotransmitters are underlooked.

18 hours ago, Ymmit said:

I took a case all the way through the Social Security system for a client with HPPD (pretty severe, usual visuals with intense derealization and depersonalization). Unfortunately, we lost at the last level of appeal. If anyone has successfully obtained ssd/ssi with a primary diagnosis of HPPD please contact me. Ymmiteegam@hotmail.com that is my personal email that I am the only one with access to. Any responses will be kept strictly confidential. A precedent would be huge.

It might be better to apply with the anxiety disorder.

used it for years, no issues only positives

Are they a no go for us hppd guys? I suffer more so from the dpdr and anxiety than visuals.

Interesting concoction, I hope its getting better. Ik how devastating it all is.

3 minutes ago, eshade9 said:

@josht9210 Regardless if it was a spiritual awakening or ego death, something occurred that caused me to experience the sensations I would eventually experience in a later point in time as a sort of passenger / observer. What can I do to stop this retrieval of memory / recognizing the present moment as the sensations I had during the drug trips? FYI I would rather take the plunge into the waters that wait for us after death than to have to deal with this 24/7 recognition for the rest of my life.

The ego death and spiritual awakening is a big part of this, its the philosophy that got you here. Its a farse. You can now see that these things other people make claims to are actually just drug induced brain damage.

All i can say is it takes time, no drugs, lots of therapy, jump on some sedative meds to help you cope for a bit. You have to kind of accept it and live with it, the more you fear it the more you feel it. Why? Because when you fear something you signal your amygdala to look for that threat, and since its there 24/7 and your amygdala will sense it 24/7 it wont leave until you decondition it as a threat.

I'm sorry that you've been brainwashed by the psychadelic community into believing that garbage. There is hope though. Abstain from recreational drugs until further notice, including coffee/alcohol. Once your stress/anxiety go down the dpdr also decreases. Good luck, decondition yourself from that spiritual garbage. 

Both too high t/e2 and too low are bad. I raised my dosage to 250mg (just a test) and my head is very clear it actually gives me anxiety because I've gotten used to my brain fog

26 minutes ago, VisualDude said:

Fantastic results.  As far as trying anything else, I'd work with what you are doing right now.  HPPD has a nasty habit of popping back with too many changes ... you've probably read such stories on the forum.  So go steady and see how this sets in.

Yea the studies on testosterone show lots of benefits.  Even with most prostate cancers although docs are locked into the myth of how bad T is.  The whole bad rap started because of athletes using steroids and then laws against it ... there was never significant concerns about T medically.

Funny enough the prostate cancer is actually due to the estrogen. The issue with injecting test is the aromatase into estrogen. However if you are low t naturally you are most likely high e2, so either way you have potential to unlocking the prostate cancer gene all males have.

As for cardiovascular diesease the only risk is the increase in hemocrat and hemoglobin, red blood cell count. It thickens the blood and if not monitored properly could cause the stroke/heart attack due to making the heart work harder.

On the flip side low t and high e2 is also very toxic for the cardio vascular system.

Atleast on trt you have access to constant labs and are given a hormone that increases energy instead of leaving you sedatary.

5 hours ago, VisualDude said:

 Could also be to get around the propaganda against androgens.

omg thank you, you know how hard it was to get it prescribed as a 27 year old white male, jesus christ, I saw over 6 doctos who all said no, luckily I found a legal telemedicine clinic who treats tons of people so they have a broad spectrum of clients undergoing treatment, they are interventional endocrinologists who specialize in andrology

5 hours ago, VisualDude said:

Please describe effects.

Mine are that DHT resolves 2 major visual symptoms that nothing else (except high fever) resolves.  DHT derivatives improve sharpness and overall quality of vision.  T helps language comprehension, focus and fatigue.  None 'cure' me but do improve quality of life.

I am not looking for a 'cure' to the symptoms, just something to help with anxiety as opposed to ssris.

I've been on paxil 10mg for 10 years since hppd/panic/dpdr onset. I kind of shut up and took the pill and got really numb and passive to all stimuli. For example I got no pleasure or reward from anything, if I went to the beach or hiking with my ex, she would be so in awe and I was just like this is stupid lets leave. This became my new reality and I actually had no clue how numb I was too things until recently.

I started off with 175mg per week, injecting daily based on my labs and advice from t nation forums. I'm currently using 250mg per week(just testing this for a bit, I will resume 175 soon)/daily shots to mimic the bodys natural production, plus 5-10mg of DHT per day. I have a new doctor prescribing it for me ( I was going underground before ) he told me my dht was low prior to trt.

The first couple of weeks were rough, I had placebo anxiety wondering why I was getting anxiety and heart palps, I eventually just said whatever I'm too far in now.

I would get glimpses of what I fealt was "Reality", things fealt clearer, colors looked brighter, sensations were more pleasing. These would come in short bursts and last couple hours. 

4.5 weeks I had major anxiety, I was assuming it was from e2(estradial), but this is another reason daily injections help, less e2 aromatization. (blood levels fully stablize at week 6-8) The feeling of reality was intense, but overwhelming as I associated it with anxiety, when infact thats how real life feels without being on an ssri

Week 7-9 (right now), I feel absolutely amazing. Everything is so clear. I literally feel like pre-mdma, I wake up in the morning and the sun shines the same way it did when I was a kid, I converse with people without brain fog and what not, I can legit keep a train of thought. (I am 27, been on ssris for 10  years) I actually get nervous anxiety like I used to as a kid before talking to a girl, I blush and everything again, these emotions stopped being accessable to me on paxil. My sex life has also improved. My 5 week blood panels were really good, better than pre-trt. I can't explain it but this is the first time I've fealt fully in my body without dpdr in years. This is not placebo or exaggeration. I almost feel paxil was causing more dpdr at a certain point. I def overstayed my welcome on paxil, it did help with anxiety for my onset, but was detrimental the last couple years.

My docs new protocol for me is 26mg a day/182mg a week, 1 click of testosterone cream (converts mainly to dht when applied on scrotum)

I also have access to all the underground hormones, so I am willing to experiment, if you know of any that can benefit anxiety let me know. Ik they have 19nor nandralones and what not, also a couple other dht derivatives, but they are pretty liver toxic, deca, winstrol, dianabol, trenbolone, equipose, anavar, if you know of any of their steroid profiles let me know which one would best help the case. The masteron(injecting) I'm using right now has done wonders but has kind of made my hair shed a bit.

Currently weening off paxil, my conclusion is that the increase in testosterone bypassing the SERT system that ssris work on. SSRIS block the SERT (seretonin transporters) so that way more stays active in the system, increase in testosterone was observed to increase the amount of SERT's you have, this study was done in a women transitioning to a man, also explains why men have less anxiety than women anecdotally. 

There are tons of studies of testosterone effect on depression, and some of the effects on anxiety and confidence. I can't say its helped with the hppd symptoms, but it def has helped *SO FAR* with depression/anxiety/dpdr, I'm actually scared this good feeling will go away... p.s 10 years of hppd, no drug abuse since then, just alcohol on rare occasions

I get it too, its pretty interesting. I feel it goes more hand in hand with the anxiety hppd causes. I've had it intensify etc.

1.) Why were you using recreational drugs if you so clearly worry about the repercussions? I hope you havent touched them since and have learned their dangers, "beautiful" trip or not, its not worth a life time of suffering, I've read 2 many hppd suicide induced threads to think lsds "beautiful trips" "ego-deaths" "spiritual awakenings" mumbo jumbo that all "psychonoughts" preach is worth it. What I would do to feel 100% NORMAL, like the average joe again. Your lsd won't be there to give you a good trip after hppd, your buddies you do lsd with won't give be there to pay for your 10 years of therapy after you have hppd etc. They will move on with their lives after their lsd phase, leaving you behind with the damage. Anyone who glorifies lsd or these ILLEGAL TOXIC drugs is promoting danger, they ruin lives. All because of a "beautiful trip"..

2.) Your filter is probably breaking, you're noticing things that usually the brain filters out much like us hppd suffers. Try not worrying or being anxious about it *easier said than done because its a constant feeling of heavier gravity on top of your head am i right* and see if it goes away when you're not paying attention. To test this theory pop a benzo and try to make your head ache worse, you probably couldn't because its most likely fed through anxiety, look up top of the head migraines, has to due with blood flow dilation etc.

So hard to read.. Guys if you're new please understand it gets better.. Research is being done everyday, exhaust every option first, just keep busy and try your best every day, 1.minute.at.a.time.

If you wanna end it, the world is your oyster and you have nothing to lose. Theres nothing holding you back from living once you are free from the fear of death. If you consider suicide you don't fear death, go do something stupid (not drugs), something fun, something to get your mind off of this. And maybe by the time you're done, you'll realize life is worth living. Theres nothing holding you back, not even death. Go do something great. It gets better. Die doing something great. 

Everytime I am at my wits end I do something drastic, something against my core, something that requires risk. I burn all my bridges as there is never going back. I lose all fear and anxiety in that moment, I then realize I am stronger than my fear, and I overcome. 

By bi-weekly I'm assuming he gets 1 200mg injection every 2 weeks, this is actually counter productive as the half life is 4.5 days. It takes 6-8 weeks to fully stablize in the blood. While increasing test does increase dopamine & seretonin, as well as increasing SERT the other hormones such as progesterone are.natural anticonvulsants, dht a testosterone dehrivitive is important for mood and well being as well as cognition. 

Injecting bi weekly is a recipe for disaster, he will peak 48 hours after first injection and then crash 4-5 days later and feel terrible for 2 weeks. I'm sure hes already informed you of this by now, a healthier protocol is 2x weekly injections every 3.5 days. I currently inject smaller doses daily to mimic my bodys natural production and to lower aromatase to estrogen a pro convulsant.

1 hour ago, yosoydiego said:

Where?

http://www.neurogroup.org/hppd/treatment/

Thats hope1's site I believe