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AlphaBeta

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  1. Sleep got much better meanwhile, but Visuals are still getting worse. My psychiatrist offered me Lamotrigine now because he thinks we should somehow "interrupt" the worsening. I'm quite unsure if I should start a medical treatment at this point. On the one hand, my HPPD is overall still mild, but on the other hand it constantly gets worse. Initially I wanted to wait for at least 8 months before trying medications, but now I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe my doctor is right and I should stop just watching it becoming (may irreversibly) worse. Will think about it within the next few weeks. If anyone has thoughts or input for me regarding this decision, please let me know.
  2. Hi! There is no empirical knowledge regarding the recovery chance. Anecdotal references point that for most people it subsides at some point within 12 months if they take care of themselves, especially in mild cases. Staying off all drugs is the right strategy. As an additional hint, I'd recommend you to avoid stress and get as much sleep as possible. E.g. staying awake for a night could lead to a massive worsening. Generally, never ever take LSD more often than every 1-2 months. That's what I learned after getting HPPD and talking to many people about it. I barely know somebody who took LSD more often than once a month over some time and did not get permanent aftereffects at some point. Expierienced, responsible long-term LSD consumers tend to take it max. 4 times a year. I wish somebody else would have told me this when I started to use LSD... Please keep us up-to-date regarding your course. Unfortunately, most people stop posting when they get better or are able to manage their state. That's why positive courses are probably extremely underreported and hard to find in the internet. Reading positive stories can really help other people with this condition. I wish you all the best.
  3. Update: Visuals still get worse very slowly. No big issues with DP/DR/Anxiety yet again. Mood swings between normal, oppressed and Trip-like. Sleep issues persist, but are not so massive as in the beginning.
  4. No I‘m not a doctor. As most people here, I‘m just someone who used LSD and have HPPD (in my case mild one, fortunately). I don‘t know you and didn‘t make any assumptions on you, I just told my opinion that your symptoms do not sound like you have (only) HPPD because HPPD does not usually include feelings of being watched or your mind being read. I‘m not here to fight with you. Feel free to ignore me if you think I don‘t have the expertise to help you. As everyone here, I can just provide ideas. Some are may helpful, others won’t be. But in the end you have to find your own way.
  5. Hi! This sounds more like Schizophrenia than HPPD. Did you seek medical treatment?
  6. Yes. Be happy that you're able to sleep! If I were you I'd stay with 10h. IMO sleep helps to cure. What helps to stabilize sleep regulation is to going to bed and getting up every day the same time.
  7. No, this is not possible. HPPD is known since the 60's and there is not a single case report of blindness as far as I know. DP is depersonalisation. It means that you're feeling detached from your body or you feel like you're not real or feel like you're robot-controlled. DR is derealization. It means that the environment (objects, friends/family, your home, ...) is feeling very strange, unfamiliar and unreal. If they occur often, these symptoms are extremely damning and some people here describe them as their worst ones. Often, those symptoms are a reaction by the psyche to heavy anxiety. Luckily, I had DR only in the very beginning and DP still only 2 times and very short. So for me they were not a big problem yet, fortunately. It can be a side effect of HPPD (as well as of many other diseases), it's not so uncommon, I've read it quite often.
  8. Haha, I did think that so often, too You mean tobacco? I think that would make sense (though it would also when you wouldn't have HPPD ), but be careful. If you're dependent, the withdrawel symptoms could make you more nervous. If I were you, I'd do it slowly. Getting completely drug-free is your best bet, this is what everyone in this forum will tell you. Btw, caffeine is making symptoms worse, usually. Yes it is. Your highest priority should be to be strong and don't fall into anxiety. Anxiety is worsening everything and the more often you're afraid and you give in falling into negative thought circles, the more likely it is that you develop a comorbid anxiety disease. Try to live healthy and to not think so much about your symptoms. I know this is hard. I've gone through the same and I still fight against it. But time helped, it has become easier to ignore it. Mee, too. But this is very unlikely. I believe in most cases it fades out or at least gets much better within 12 months if people take care of themselves.
  9. Yes, I have mild HPPD for 3-4 months now. If you'd like to know everything you could take a look into my introduction
  10. + sleep disorders Thanks for this. Looking forward to see the questionnaire and, of course, the results afterwards!
  11. Some update: Luckily, my worst fears did not come true yet. Had no further issues with DP/DR so far. Anxiety did subside again, but my state of consciousness is still altered. For about 2 weeks, I had a generalized itching that definitely was not caused by skin issues. Just some random, changing body parts were suddenly pricking and itching, especially in the evening. Every time different parts which fastly changed. Fortunately, it went away after 2 weeks. During this time, I tried a sedative antihistamine (doxylamine) which helped a lot to supress this symptom and get some sleep. It didn't have any effect on my visuals. Just as the headache / head pressure and muscle twitching, it just subsided after some time. Never had such symptoms before my HPPD. For now, I dropped all meds as my state is manageable, but visuals still get worse slowly. Sleep issues are persisting.
  12. Maybe also a word to this one... Even if you get better fast, give your brain enough time. I'd recommend at least some drug-free months after everything is completely OK again. Otherwise you put yourself at risk of expieriencing a rebound that is even worser than your initial issue and that may won't fade away fast. Many of the people that got severe, persisting HPPD ignored warning signals.
  13. And it's probably not the last one When it gets bad again, always be aware that it's just an episode and there are better times again. It's a good time to learn not being too much a slave of your emotions. No state of mind is final. A good lesson also for the rest of your life!
  14. Hi & welcome! I also got mild HPPD from Cannabis & LSD use. First the most important thing, you should stay stober if you'd like to cure. Cannabis & LSD are worsening and prolonging the effects in nearly all cases. Cannabis won't calm you down, it's not like in the past anymore! It'll just make you more psychotic. Anyhow, Cannabis and LSD cannot physically damage your brain, but they can muddle your neurotransmitter balance which results in the symptoms that you're expieriencing currently. As long as you don't hear voices or feel that others read your mind or something, don't worry so much about Schizophrenia. Are there Schizophrenia cases in your family? Everything can seem very hopeless in moments of anxiety and heavy mood swings, I know this very well. But few days after stopping drugs, it's way too early to think your life is ruined. Few days or weeks of emotional instability after having a bad trip is not so uncommon, especially if you take such high doses of Cannabis. Cannabis prolongs and amplifies the effects of a psychedelic afterglow. If you stay sober, the chances that especially your emotional situation will get much better very soon are extremely good (few days / weeks). Regarding your visuals, they'll may subside fastly as well or they'll may stay longer or even get worse, but I'd heavily advice you to don't try to improve the situation with psychedelics or Cannabis, it won't work. For me, it sounds like you just have a mild HPPD / bad trip afterglow which usually fades away after some time if you abstain. If this will develop into a severe HPPD or other psychiatric diseases highly depends on how much you take care of yourself in the next time. So my advices would be: Try to calm down, don't think so much about your symptoms, believe that you'll be fine, STAY SOBER, live healthy, avoid stress and take care of your sleep (go to bed at the same time every day, sleep 8+ hours if possible), then your chances are good that you'll fully recover. If you can't calm down, a benzodiazepine could may help you with that. If you can't get a prescription, you'll usually get one or two pills of Diazepam or Lorazepam in most emergency departments or psychiatric ambulances. If you get a prescription, Clonazepam seems to be the best one against HPPD. But be careful, benzos can lead to dependence very fast and continued use won't bring your old life back, in fact the opposite is the case. Anyhow, they can help you to initially calm down once, so that you're able to reflect your situation without anxiety and refuel mental strength to get through the next days. Also, meditation and any form of distraction from your symptoms can help you a lot to calm down, get rid of panic attacks and improve your emotional stability. Good luck!
  15. Did you try Benzos with longer half-life like e.g. Temazepam?
  16. Hi MadDoc! Thanks for your warm welcome. I'll give my best. Mood got a bit better during the last days which is the most important thing as my visuals are not so heavy yet. I hope this will persist so that I don't need to take Benzos. Of course, I'll abstain from Cannabis and all other recreational drugs, don't want to make things worse.
  17. For sleep, valerian root helped me a bit, 150 - 900mg as needed. You could start with 450mg and see if it helps. In case you get hands on Benzos, I’d recommend to dose as low as possible (start with quarter of the recommended dose and increase only if necessary). Your receptor sensitivity is usually increased during HPPD and often small doses are enough. The higher the dose the higher rebound effects can get and the higher the risk of taking directly again and get dependent. Also, avoid Benzos and similar meds with short elimination half-time (like Zopiclone), rebound can be extremely bad there.
  18. Hi Tyler! First, I only have mild HPPD for some weeks so I'm not the most expierienced guy, but I've read a lot studies during past weeks. It can totally happen that symptoms occur later (was also in my case). I've read positive and negative reports on Mirtapazine. I think basically it's russian roulette - to be honest, I wouldn't take it if I were you. The most effective med against DPDR / anxiety and may also visuals is Clonazepam, but its highly addictive. But if you take it for some days you may have some time to calm down and process whats happening with you. From all of what I've read, I guess Clonazepam and other Benzos probably mostly do not have so much influence on how the disease evolves - they just help to cope with / supress the symptoms. My psychiatrist has some expierience with HPPD patients and also did publications about HPPD - he said in most cases all symptoms fade away within 12 months if people are taking care of themselves. That also matches what some people here are saying. Also, he said, emotional symptoms improve often quite fast after some weeks. 2 weeks are not much, it's very likely that it gets better soon. I've read some posts here claiming that its not uncommon for symptoms to get worse first while getting better later on. Anyhow, there is no guarantee, this is also what makes it very hard for me. Anyhow, as you see here in the board, nobody died and its possible to live with it. What helps me a lot currently is meditation and stress reduction. I wish you all the best, hopefully it gets better soon on your case.
  19. Promethazine is a Phenothiazine and there are multiple reports that Phenothiazines are worsening HPPD symptoms or even cause HPPD, e.g. Abraham HD. Visual phenomenology of the LSD flashback. Arch GenPsychiatry 1983; 40: 884–88
  20. Hey guys! I'm currently evolving HPPD and like to introduce myself. Will try to describe my case here as best as possible and update the course of my disease (I won't be one of these guys not responding / updating anymore in case it gets better ). Primary Intoxication Causing HPPD: Bad Trip, caused by LSD 250ug, Cannabis ~ 1g about 8 hours after LSD (April 2019). After 6 hours of anxiety, trip aborted with 10mg Diazepam. HPPD Trigger: One night of sleep deprivation few weeks later. Anamnese: - No psychological issues before developing HPPD, mood was always fine and very stable - frequent Cannabis use for 1 year (phases of daily use, in 2019 2-3 times a week, but also with some weeks of no consumption at all in between) - frequent LSD use (~ every 4-6 weeks as well as 100ug 1 week before the primary intoxication causing HPPD) - 2 times mushrooms, 1 time MDMA I completely stopped taking recreational drugs after my bad trip. Also no alcohol, no caffeine. Current symptoms: - Poor Sleep, 0 - 6 hours (every day) - Anxiety / Mood swings (recurring episodes every few weeks) - Visuals: Intensified Colors (strong), Blue Field Phenomena (slight), Trails (slight), Starbursts (strong, especially during night), Halos (during night, strong). Everything persistent. Currently visual symptoms are getting worser. So far, they always only got worser. - Muscle Twitching (slight, ~ 20 times a day) - Slight head pressure - DP (occured 2 times now while I was in bed) Past symptoms: - DR Course: Week 1: Slight DR, no other symptoms. Week 2: Got to bed too late and had to wake up early (only 4 hours of sleep). Since then, I have very heavy sleep issues. Got into a cycle of sleep deprivation, raising anxiety and raising DR. Took 5mg Diazepam. Next days it was getting better, anxiety was cured for now. Week 3: DR faded out, sleeplessness persisted. Week 4: Sleep issues persisted, and now I did the biggest mistake of my life: Even though sleep got slightly better (4-6 hours was possible now), I took the decision to stay one night awake trying to improve sleep length. This triggered my HPPD. Week 5: Very slight episodes of anxiety because vision was slowly changing. Starbursts and intensified colors evolved very slowly. Anxiety faded out quickly. Week 6 and ongoing: Not much issues first, but HPPD is slowly getting worser. Tried Lorazepam and Zopiclone once for sleep (with 1 week pause in between), but their rebound accelerates HPPD symptoms development. Rebound of Zopiclone was the worst thing - it brought back the bad trip for 1 1/2 days and triggered mood swings / anxiety that faded out after 5 days. Medications: None of the medications I took did seem to have any direct effect on my HPPD visuals. Anyhow, I tried a few ones to cope with my other symptoms. Positive Effects: - Valerian (without no sleep at all is possible, I take it every day in doses of 150 - 1350mg as needed, sometimes in combination with bulm / passionflower. It slightly helps with anxiety as well.) - L-Tryptophan (blood test showed a lack, so I started to supplement during the anxiety phases with 500 - 1000mg / day. It seems to cure anxiety / lifting up the mood after 2-3 days) Negative Effects: - Zopiclone (works for sleep, extremely bad anxiety rebound, accelerated HPPD development during rebound) Neutral: - Lorazepam (worked once for anxiety / sleep, no hard rebound, but seemed to accelerate HPPD development during rebound) - Magnesium (I supplement it because of muscle twitching and sleep lack, but I don't know if there is an effect) For what I seek out: One and a half week ago, I first noticed trails very slightly. Now they're are quite noticeable already and occur mainly on objects I don't focus on so much, but I also notice it on my hands as well. I'm quite concerned and expect heavy anxiety / DPDR issues during next weeks as it is fastly getting worser. Any advice? I'll ask my psychiatrist for Clonazepam next Wednesday. Not sure if I should take it preventively trying stop / slow down worsening or if I should wait as long as possible until DPDR occurs. Also I'd like to know, how much will severe trails and DPDR influence my everyday life usually? Should I may cancel planned vacations? What if I have a DPDR situation at work, can I handle this without freaking out? I'm quite frightened. Thanks for helping out!
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