noworries

Thank you for the kind words. While this post may seem a bit melancholy I am in fact doing quite well. "Life", with the exception of this HPPD nonsense, is looking up for me; spring quarter is here, before too long it will be summer. I'm just looking forward for my life to be one of leisure, at least for a while. I turn 19 in June and would love to be more or less beyond this by that date. If not visuals remission, acceptance and calm would suffice.

Honestly just want to get some thoughts out that have been plaguing me for a while now. 1. Why were/was we/I so unlucky? I tripped once and got HPPD. A good friend of mine recently went on a binge where he ate shrooms, took lsd twice and 25i once (from the same batch I took, I might add) in a single week and he claims to have no HPPD whatsoever. He did allow that for a while he'd have slight fractals while smoking but claims that it is all but gone. I hate that I was susceptible to this sort of thing but my friend who's irresponsible about his use still has run into no problems. 2. Has anyone ever been having a great time with friends, totally forgot about HPPD, then remembered and then had the moment ruined by said remembering? Happened to me today. 3. I feel selfish. My HPPD is really quite mild. If I lived in the woods without any written language or hard lines I probably would never notice it. I only really notice it when I look for it though there is the occasional intrusive visual that I can't avoid. I feel selfish because even this mild HPPD is really bugging me. I'm still socially/academically successful, my life is still enjoyable and rich but I always have this inkling feeling in the back of my head that I have really, really fucked something up. I can't imagine what many of you are going through because mine is mild and still causing distress. I haven't had a real anxiety attack for a while but I find it really hard to not think about my condition. 4. I think I'm getting better. I hope. It has been two months and one day. Sorry for venting, just needed to get this off my chest and while I'm pretty open about my condition to my friends I don't feel they'd understand, much less my mother (who I have told). Thanks all.

Didn't end up drinking but I am extremely sleep deprived. Haven't slept for 21 hours. Besides feeling slight delirious (that's normal though), my symptoms aren't changed, huh?.

I don't want to start a new topic because I realize that can get annoying. But I have a question about static. I read a lot of people's posts and they describe static as being colorful and dense. Some people describe it as being able to form into patterns after awhile. Mine is nothing like that and I just now found the words to describe it. I kindly of have an "visual buzz" most apparent when looking at carpet or other textured surfaced. I don't get it very bad at all with glossy painted surfaces, but textured walls and fabric are no longer "solid" if that makes any sense. I don't really notice it unless I look for it so it isn't debilitating. Do others experience static like this? I'm just trying to differentiate between what is HPPD and what isn't. A few days ago while in the company of friends I asked them if they could see double of headlights through the windshield of my friends car, and they all could. This was one of my most troubling symptoms and I now know it's a normal element of human vision. It seems that HPPD is disintegrating around me which is a good thing. I still have after images and my ghosting is still apparent though less common. I had a caffeinated cup of coffee today and my visual symptoms were unaffected though I had a bit of anxiety due to the prospect of them being affected but no objective difference was experienced. I'm getting better.

So I know this question has been answered countless times but I'm asking for a different reason. How does alcohol, in moderation, affect your HPPD. I'm planning on going to a party next Friday at a friend's place and it's going to be a bit of a reunion for my high school buddies and I'd love nothing more than to be able to have a few beers. It may just be rationalization, but do y'all think this could be an opportunity to test how alcohol affects my HPPD? I'm intending on limiting myself to five servings of alcohol. Just enough to get jolly drunk (I'm 6 foot 2 so I can tolerate a lot of alcohol). I'll drink plenty of water to fight of a hangover (that's what I hear most people have issue with). If at any point I feel uncomfortable I'll stop drinking. Does this sound like a safe way to go about this? My HPPD seems to be improving albeit pretty slowly. My symptoms haven't lessened in severity but they are becoming less consistent if that makes any sense.

I smoked weed a few times just after the onset of my symptoms and they actually helped me too. I also, like you, found that once I quit smoking my visuals increased a bit but I honestly think that was due to a bit of a psychological dependence on my part and therefore I was having a bit of mental withdrawal which caused anxiety which caused visuals. My point is that while your visuals may seem to increase this may not be a function of the weed and more a function of anxiety. In the long term weed pretty consistently is known to make things worse, that's why I quit.

I seem to have a reverse reaction. Not that anxiety makes my symptoms better but usually my symptoms will trigger anxiety but they don't get any worse. Luckily this doesn't seem to happen all that much anymore.

Last night I experienced what may or may not be a new symptom. I was in my bed looking at my phone and whenever the light coming off my phone changed (ie. went from a darker app to a lighter app), I would experience a wisp of blue/purple (I'm colorblind) light in my lefthand periphery. This caused a bit of anxiety but weirdly after a couple of minutes this went away and I haven't experienced it since. One night a couple weeks back I saw the only other "true" hallucination I've had, and that was a similar wisp of color in the dark but I haven't experienced that since. By true I mean a completely independent hallucination, not a reaction to already present visual stimuli (I see no patterns on walls or in the dark). This whole HPPD thing is really weird. I'll have a really good day with hardly any noticeable symptoms then the next day I'll notice my symptoms, though they are admittedly pretty mild. Overall I'm feeling pretty good, still confident this will go away in time, I'd like to be able to enjoy some beers with my friends this summer though I'm pretty positive I'm done with weed for good but that doesn't really bother me. I'm still abstaining from all drugs except for one time last week I sipped my friends beer because he "swears it's the best beer ever". edit: the beer was pretty good

please get help, there are so many people out there

UPDATE: I'm feeling better everyday. My ghosting of text is becoming less and less of a problem. Ghosting of diffused light sources is greatly decreasing. After-images still there but they're hardly ever noticeable unless I force them. Staying Positive. Peace all.

your experience seems similar to mine... Trip and then carry one for a couple of weeks, suddenly everything is different. You, like me, are very inexperienced with psychedelics and since you only have one true psychedelic experience that could have caused the HPPD you fit the description of all the success story cases I have read. Worry not, you'll be fine. Hallucinations can't hurt you. Give it a couple of weeks--> months and don't sweat it too hard.

Hi all, I don't intend to use this account very much as I'm not that "into" my symptoms and subsequently just want some of your guys' first opinions. My HPPD started about 4 weeks ago but I believe it is from my only experience with a true psychedelic, 25i-nBOME, 6 weeks ago. I took the drug and was fine for two weeks and resumed my daily (albeit relatively light) use of marijuana and occasional alcohol. After one particularly intoxicated night I noticed a slight "busy-ness" to the solid grey carpet in my hallway. It actually crossed my mind that this might be HPPD but seeing as how I was pretty messed up I paid it no real mind and went to sleep. Over the next couple of days I smoked weed 2 two more times without ill effect, but the carpets were still "busy" (by busy I mean a slight shimmer somewhat similar to visual snow). I had something of a panic attack 3 or 4 days after my initial observations and quit smoking weed (I still wasn't completely convinced that I had HPPD). Over the next few days I convinced myself that I saw visual snow on solid-color walls and slowly I descended into anxiety over these symptoms. Over the following days and weeks I have noticed the following. Slight ghosting of text (if i space out, a copy of the text I'm reading will "creep" out from below it but if I blink my eyes and focus it goes away so it doesn't interfere with my reading that much) After-imaging that doesn't really interfere, only happens with high contrast (text on a computer, bright lights etc.) Ghosting of circular light sources (moon, ball lights etc.) That "shimmer" in carpets Light sensitivity (not quite starbursting as I don't think that the spread of bright lights has increased) Maybe, just maybe though, some minor trailing (though I don't notice this with car headlights which makes me think it's not actually one of my symptoms). Maybe some slight wall breathing if I stare, but this isn't consistent ie. I can stare at a wall and convince myself it's breathing but more often than not I can't even do that. That's about it. Weirdly the VS I thought I saw on solid walls is either gone or was never there in the first place. Over all it's pretty minor, doesn't really interfere with much though I'm not completely comfortable driving until I see how this pans out. It doesn't seem to be getting worse and since I got it from only one use of psychedelics I'm pretty convinced that I am going to be better soon. I haven't touch alcohol or weed since my panic attack, I drank caffeine for a couple of weeks and didn't notice any effect but for safe measure I've cut that out as well. I guess my only question to you guys is what do you think of my experience? I don't really get worked up over my symptoms anymore though I do spend a good deal of time thinking about them. I spoke with a family friend psychiatric professional and he told me that I can expect it to go away in a matter of months given my continued sobriety and he assured me that it won't get worse (though this doesn't exactly line up with anecdotal reports of peoples' HPPD getting worse without aggravation, go figure). I'm a first-year university student who is confident in myself and my ability to overcome this, I'm just wondering if you guys have anything to add or suggest. Don't expect me to be a regular face around here though you all will be some of the first people I contact if need be. Cheers.