SlavicPsychonaut

Imo

BRAIN DAMAGE

You could obtain it online....Effexor exacerbated my visual aberrations, though. I tried the gamut of meds in my first rehab; we had a morally subjective psychiatrist that functioned as a arbitrary drug dealer and she even prescribed Keppra. The only med that has efficacy for me is Klonopin.

Is it reducing your anxiety? Are you taking any other meds?

Lol, yeah meth is an epidemic in California. I enjoy the liberation from society, it helps me cope with my HPPD.

Nice, I attended my first rehab in San Clemente. I lived in Pismo Beach when I initially moved here, and had to relocate for obvious reasons to the Yosemite region.

I've had depersonalization and derealization prior to my drug use/abuse and it never manifested cognitive dysfunction. There's something more insidious; it's trauma, bro.

Good, you're fucking redundant, dude. Loljk. You live in Cali?

Lol, I remember when being high in public used to induce crazy paranoia, I was convinced everyone was observing me.

I didn't recover within a year completely, that's when I started to smoke cannabis again. I still have debilitating cognitive dysfunction, that incessantly tripping sensation and just a generally psychotic feeling, it's fucking chaos. I've always had a high tolerance to drugs, I could ingest more quantity of a substance than my peers and appear less intoxicated and function better than them.

I'm a colossal stoner, lmao. Yeah, DP/DR is induced by anxiety as a defense mechanism by our brains to inhibit sensory overload which psychedelics, ESPECIALLY a traumatic trip precipitate. I've even wrecklessly eaten 8 grams of shrooms last summer with no exacerbation in symptoms.....I was in a particularly fucked up mentality that day, lol. I've had HPPD for five years, and have frequented this forum since 2011, it's pretty much plateaued by now, I don't give a fuck anymore. I do what I want all day, don't conform to societal trends and actually live life because of this disorder. I'd say approximately a year. Initially, cannabis made everything worse, but I remember crossing a high threshold and my HPPD symptoms started to reduce in intensity. I also supplement my weed habit with 2mg of Klonopin every few days. I eat healthy, exercise and take supplements, too. You can make half a gram last almost a week?!??!?! Lucky fuck.

I dunno, I'm contemplating quitting, I'm chasing the proverbial dragon with my drug problem, and when I'm blasted as fuck I have an affinity to indulge in any substance around me, which could fuck me in the future.

Buspar sucks, lol. A pseudo-anxyliotic desperately attempting to be a benzodiazepine.

Buspar sucks, lol. A pseudo-anxyliotic desperately attempting to be a benzodiazepine.

Hey Trip Into Hell,

I've had anxiety virtually my entire life so becoming permafried kinda mitigated my anxiety. :/ I was sober for 11 months before I relapsed on cannabis, and I smoke copious amounts now; I can burn 10 grams a day, I'm dependent as fuck on it. I reintroduced myself to cannabis gradually with a bowl, assessed there was no damage and continued blazing, for me personally I know I can smoke with abatement of symptoms, I'm fortunate.

I'd recommend complete abstinence, but from reading your posts I see you're a drug connoisseur like me. I'll honestly never be ready to commit to complete sobriety with HPPD because it fucking sucks, albeit my weed highs aren't the same pre-HPPD. I'm at an impasse; it does relieve my symptoms, though. I even smoke THC concentrate with upwards to 80% potency without any issues.

P.S.- Congrats on a rapid recovery, I'm in for the long haul as I had zero reduction in symptoms in that first year of sobriety, and I relapsed with apathy. My only concern is the cognitive dysfunction; I've dealt with derealization for a good portion of my life before using/abusing psychoactive substances and my visuals are almost transient whilst sober and high.

I smoke too much cannabis to notice it anymore, even when I'm sober it's still in remission. Before I started smoking cannabis again I was sober for a year and it was pretty prevalent 24/7 on surfaces, the atmosphere, etc.

I think our cognitive dysfunction can be attributed to PTSD as PTSD is known to have deleterious effects on cognition. HPPD is definitely minor neurological damage to an extent, albeit I don't believe it's pathology alone can be so detrimental to cognition. How many of you have experienced a difficult or traumatic drug experience that went unresolved?

I think that's a primary catalyst to more severe HPPD; the last time I tripped on any psychedelic it was LSD almost five years ago, and it essentially made me psychotic for two months and manifested this hallucinogenic wasteland I'm fucking stuck in.

I still smoke cannabis, hence my moniker, haha. I'm psychologically dependent on it, and sadly it's the only thing I derive joy from anymore besides spending time with the fiance, playing with my German Shepherd or going sport shooting. For me personally, it reduces every aspect of my HPPD dramatically, so I'm fortunate, but cognitively it's taken a toll, so I intend on quitting soon.

Imo, don't let HPPD hinder life's simple pleasures. I'm also intrigued it has a dysphoric effect on you, as you're releasing dopamine and oxytocin which should ameliorate stress and depression! Everybody's biochemistry varies, though.

Excellent advice, 415! I tend to psychologically over exert myself ruminating on my past substance abuse which precipitated my HPPD and amplified it on a daily basis recently; it only compounds the co-morbid symptoms. I have ADHD too, and used/abused Adderall which transcended me into an entirely new echelon of dissociative hell. It's antithetical to not be able to self-medicate for mental illnesses with HPPD!

I can tolerate the distorted perception and persistent dissociation from self and "consensual" reality, but this cognitive dysfunction is tortuous.

The feeling of invincibility associated with youth, and I was no neophyte to LSD; I presumed one additional hit wouldn't be that dramatic of an increase in a hallucinogenic experience, haha. I didn't comprehend the difference between "acid" which is typically adulterated and pure LSD at that epoch, either......Yeah, I've had DP/DR ever since that harrowing trip over three years ago; my Adderall trip amplified it greatly, and left me with cognition that feels equivalent to suffering a severe TBI. I'm going to postulate with time and effort your cognition will improve to virtual pre-Ibogaine treatment levels.

Succinct, indeed! In all actuality though, my friend, HPPD has a disposition to get worse before it improves. Keep your chin up.

Fuck HPPD.

Goddamn, that is a peculiar phenomena for you two! Coitus and masturbation are entirely gratifying for me and don't seem to enhance my dissociation.

Yeah, I initially contracted it in July 2011 after a nightmarish/ethereal trip off of three hits of pure LSD. I was relatively experienced with psychedelics at the time, but grossly underestimated the potency of those blotters! Klonopin ameliorated the majority of my symptoms, including cognitive defects literally overnight. I had 11 months of sobriety then relapsed on cannabis with a vengeance, which inevitably led to my short lived Adderall binge two years later.

In regards to it amplifying my HPPD, I've essentially baselined with an entirely new visual perception; it's surreal as fuck and literal déjà vu, lol. I am thankful for being so flagrantly irresponsible, because my path of living an apathetic, addictive lifestyle was destructing everything around me, and now I can truly confront this insidious illness once and for all.

Did your cognitive impairment manifest immediately after your Ibogaine flood?

P.S.- You have my deepest sympathies for locating a seemingly tangible cure for your DR, that catalyzed your HPPD. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I also suffered intermittent phases of DR when traveling or entering unfamiliar buildings, etc. all pre-HPPD and drug use/abuse. I actually started smoking cannabis to cure it; the irony, right?!?!?