I just signed up to this forum and wanted to really contribute something. Let me give you guys some background information on me. I am currently 15 years old and have been sober for approximately 5 1/2 - 6 months. I have used various psychoactive substances a couple months before I was even 13. My entire life(only 15 years), I would always over-indulge into especially habit-forming activities. Sadly, I would lose interest in about everything else there is to life but those habits. For instance; I played video games daily averaging about 6 - 8 hours a day for about 7 years (from 8 years old to this day). I would never exercise or even eat because I just wanted to play all day. Then when I was about 11 years old I got into masturbating quite often. I masturbated sometimes up to 8 times a day and found myself to be depressed much more often. I later found out that sex/masturbation acts in the brain much like the same way many drugs act, by causes a short-lasting high rise in dopamine(natural feel-good chemical) then a long enduring decline. Right now, when I think back to those habits I realized that I was probably prone to becoming addicted to shit like drugs.
I started off like many with marijuana(used about 150+ times). I went to any kind of pills then eventually I would use whatever was available. DXM(used about 12 times), diphenhydramine(used about 5 times along with DXM usually), nitrous oxide(used about 10 times), computer duster(used about 3 times), air freshener(used about 40 times), hydrocodone(used about 5 times), xanax(used twice), cocaine(used twice), ecstasy(used 9 times), alcohol(used 5 times), spice(synthetic cannabinoids used about 40 times), codeine(used about 3 times), tobacco, amphetamines(used twice), and those are the drugs I can remember using. The most damaging drugs I feel like I used were definitely all inhalants, DXM(sent me to the ER), and spice(sent me to the ER). I believe to have gotten HPPD from my use with DXM mostly and the diphenhydramine/inhalants/spice.
My HPPD consists of intense visual snow, sometimes objects getting wider/narrower, and pattern/cartoon like designs on inanimate objects(tigers, robots, weird shit, etc.) none of it is colorful though. Occasionally I see something at the corner of my eye like a cat that is not actually there but it is pretty rare. I have quit using any and all psychoactive substances(even caffeine) for the past 6 months. I have had anxiety attacks, panic attacks, and depression along with the HPPD. The anxiety and panic attacks have definitely gotten better though as time went by.
I use to never exercise but once I quit using all drugs I started a daily routine of going to the gym or playing basketball for at least 30 minutes a day and that has vastly improved my anxiety. I can't even remember the last time I got a panic attack but I guess it was a couple weeks ago. The depression, however, is still present as well as the HPPD. I undeniably have brain damage as well, vision loss, memory loss, hearing loss and anything else associated with brain damage I have it. It is not traumatic nor major but it is still brain damage. I have some major loss of interest in just about everything except for masturbating and playing video games still.
My HPPD has not been improved in the past 6 months that I have been clean but I feel like with a better sleep schedule and more exercise/better nutrition it will be easier to just go on with it and ignore it. I currently sleep at about 2 - 3 AM in the morning and night time is when the HPPD is most prevalent but I am so used to sleeping that late that it is difficult to adjust to a new schedule. I have not tried any medication to help my HPPD but I am definitely considering it.
I will update you guys at least monthly to tell you how I am doing with everything. Hopefully I help someone else out with the same/similar problems as me. I will try to limit how much I masturbate, how much time I spend on video games, and adjust my sleep schedule to hopefully reduce any stress/anxiety tied into them as I strongly believe that anxiety/stress play a major role in worsening/maintaining HPPD. I want to regain interest in other things in life as much as I want my HPPD gone. The best thing to do is to never give up on your goals, and that is exactly what I am going to do. Never give up, even if you can't fully complete the goal just compromise as best as you can. ~TheSoberPotato