Monkey_magic

That was with 6 months of lack of sleep with a new kid, a failing relationship and drinking and taking benzos (street Valium and Temazepam) far too much. Plus overexercising on lack of sleep (as I attributed exercise to my original hppd reduction), stretched my nervous system to snap. Morale of the story is babies are bad for hppd and mental health lol. I wasn't ready for it, but everyone's circumstances are different. It's all about getting yourself in a safe cocoon when you've got hppd. Anything else outside it is a nuclear no mans land.

I dunno know (lol). I think at the time of getting it my hppd was so bad any anti-d woulda had a massive effect. Just so happened the first one I got put on was Prozac. it never went fully away but enough to think thank fuck for that, still had anxiety and milder visuals but I didn't help myself cos I thought 'yess, second chance to get get shit faced again', (like I said, I didn't have a clue about hppd then). I would never have taken a hallucinogen again I did smoke the odd joint, speed sometime and drink loads. So I suppose it stabalised to a degree, but stress to the nth degree re-ignited it like it never went away. Infact it came back worse the second time probably, and that was without any hallucinogen as a catalyst.

As I just discovered what hppd is 6 months ago I think all my exs over the years just thought I was nuts and moody. Now i can tell my next girlfriend I have an actual neurological/phsychological disorder. Dunno if that makes it sound better or worse, lol. I used to binge drink and inevitably black out to 'escape' from my hppd, and sometimes I'd wake up in some randoms bed lol. Now I know hppd is a factor I can control my drinking better. I react better to the women that throw themselves at me anyway. Im not good with rejection. I'm not particularly outgoing in a pub sober. Couple clonos and a couple of beers can't hurt though.

Yeah. Jay got it bang on the head with the (possible) lifetime of hppd symptoms than a few boring nights here n there. I wish I had been mr boring to the max. just stay clean, chill, exercise, eat well, sleep and you'll emerge from the other side a stronger, wiser person.

I'm like that in a way. My acting abilities should be almost Oscar worthy when it comes to making myself myself seem more responsive to 'pleasurable shows of emotion'. But I developed a kind of emotional shell type thing even before I took drugs so it's obviously a wee personality disorder that's helped me on my merry hppd way.

Aye. Keep us informed on the sinemet. Our brains will all be downloadable to ipods by the time i get keppra prescribed.

I get ibs when my hppd 'peaks'. Also have generalised bladder sensitivity issues all the time. Think it's stress/cns related cos my prostate etcs fine.

Hmm, I think just extra exercise every day and to naturally raise serotonin levels (if it is a mild case)' and get on clonazepam for a few months at 1-2mg a day for the anxiety. and the rest, hydration, sleep, good diet etc. see where you are after that.

I think that might be why my docs are a bit reticent to prescribe me keppra the last time i saw them. Price. Prescriptions are free in the uk but obv docs will try to go down the cheaper route if possible. Didnt realise it was quite expensive.

Yeah. The question is though, even if you do feel through meds, exercise etc youve got yourself approaching your pre hppd 'normality', is the underlying weakness still there waiting to resurface at the first sign of mega excess stress overloading the CNS. Theres nowt out there that can reverse hppd as of yet, just manage and mask it.some mega strides are being made though.

We all know that specially after getting hppd anything you do to your body comes back atcha in spades, but i have a right self destruct mode still lol. I must address this. Either that or i still cant handle n face emotion.

Nah ferret. I relapsed due to firstly mega stress (my boy was born and was the worst sleeper ever, plus my ex is a bitch, not a good combo). And i hit the drink and benzos route pretty hard at the time to try to cope (unsuccessfully).that was a baad relapse, was off work for a year! This relapse is mild in comparison but still annoying. Just a build up of stress, not helped by binge drinking, benzos and now tramadols been added into the mix cos folk at my work take it and i cant say no: willpower of a fuckin gnat.

Im the same as you mgrade, my hppd has a baseline and when its not flaring up its easier to manage. But its relapsed 3 times (if you count the 1st onset of it). Then its ptsd city and my phyche is turned inside out for months. As an analogy Its a bit like gjostbusters where they store all the Dickhead ghosts in the big containment unit in the base n then the baddy guy lets them all out in a oner and they terrorise manhatton. Well, my brains manhatton (probs spelt manhatton wrong but im not american).

I exercise like a beast, or as much as my shitty nervous system lets me before i get overtraining symptoms. My prob is insomnia. I dont sleep well which puts me on the backfoot right from the am.

Was just wondering rtrudeau as im (hopefully, eventually) gonna get on keppra to try it what its like for sleep? Any issues in getting or staying asleep with it?

My feelings are my amygdala is fucked and valium is amazing. Lol. Seriously though, all my shit stems from that wee fear centre part. anxiety, ptsd type shit, insomnia. All down to that. :/ i need to pop it out, wipe off all the lsd n mdma remnants n pop it back in. in.

Cheers guys. Im off to egypt on sat for a week, so im gonna sit. Catch some rays, chill on klonopin n plan my next moves lol. Straight back to 'phychotherapy and cbt' for the first time, allthough i think thats all slightly garbage. cos the nature of hppd is it makes you analyse yourself minutely anyway. (well, i do).Dont think theres a corner of my pyche i aint self analysed but spose it cant hurt. My docs allright really, just the symbiotic two headed relationship with my pyschs slowing things down. All i needs a neurologist and il get prescribed decent stuff in 2027 or that.

Cheers man. Yeah. Iv had 16 years of folk trying to say its all in my head so this is a step in the right direction i suppose. Bloody slow steps though lol. He who laughs last laughs erm...most manically or summant. I mean whats the big deal of them saying 'right hes been annoying us for years. So lets humour him n prescribe a low dose of keppra n get him out our faces'. I hate the hoops they have to jump through. Its like i told her even about this site. Were all just normal people trying to deal with an abnormal disorder.

Nah :/ did they fuck. My doc said wait for my phych appointment which ain't till sept 29th...frustrating. She said shed be happy to prescribe it if the phsych oks it. Allthough her reason was she couldnt prescribe it due to its main use for epilepsy. poor show. The doc said just keep with the prozac and the clonazepam in the meantime and gave me a bigger script for the clonazepam. But the physchiatrist has a hardon for prescribing lyrica for some reason if I think back to the last time I seen her.

I didn't even get the chance to get the testimonial file out. Her mind was made up already. So I'm gonnae just send the file via letter to both of them. I never got the full keppra trial but the abridged version gets the point across ok, plus the migraine study with it would help.

On the plus side the doc said that a definite diagnosis for hppd would have to be ruled out either way first so least they're heading down the right road kinda in that they're accepting that this is a disorder I might have (obviously i fucking have) and not just talking shite.

I started Prozac when I first got hppd and it helped me loads. Even improved visuals for a while. But it's a case of finding the right 'fit' cos it won't do that with everyone. After a severely stressful period where my hppd flared up tenfold (9 years after my first hppd onset). it never really worked as efficiently again. But, whatever gets you through the night. Or life as John Lennon said.

Thanks my man. Much appreciated. I'd feckinn pay my life's savings (diddly squat but you get the drift) for a report that if prescribed took even 50% of this shit away lol. Here's hoping.

Anybody got the keppra trial on file they can email me? I'm seeing the doc in a couple of days and really want some evidence that it has some sort of reductive effect on hppd in certain cases to help get it prescribed to try it for myself. I doubt me just blabbering away will convince him to prescribe it. A piece of paper with results in black and white might. If anybody could get back to me if they have it or know where it is in cyberspace then I'd be be very much obliged.

Anybody got the keppra trial on file they can email me? I'm seeing the doc in a couple of days and really want some evidence that it has some sort of reductive effect on hppd in certain cases to help get it prescribed to try it for myself. I doubt me just blabbering away will convince him to prescribe it. A piece of paper with results in black and white might. If anybody could get back to me if they have it or know where it is in cyberspace then I'd be be very much obliged.

I've had that and it's by far the worst thing about hppd (out a fair list). Where it feels like your personality is being sucked out your head into the cosmos. Scary shit. And then it pops back in like you've been underwater for minutes and you just need a lungfull of air. Feels like a seizure in a way but what do I know.

Maybe aliens could sort it out lol. If they abducted me They'd run a mile with their phychic powers if they could see inside my head. They'd have to wear special helmets on their big domes to block it out like magneto.

Aye. Having a bird helps euan. Sort it out lol. You end up being to emotionally reliant on them though and cause we tend to overanalyse ourselves and other people in a close relationship (well, I do anyway) it can be a bit of a heidfuck. I've had three long term relationships that's lasted a year or over ( and a few mini ones 6 months or less) and I've loved every one of them but hppd hasn't helped matters at times. Sometimes I just take solace that it makes me unique and birds tend not to forget me for good or bad.lol.

I feel for you. Im the same. We should just have a big sticker on our foreheads saying 'fragile, handle with care'. Obviously he wont be able to understand or get his head round it, but he just needs to understanf there will be tough times and easier times. And he just needs to be there when it gets tough for you and not get frustrated he cant make it go away. I think partners of hppdrs just get frustrated they cant get in your head to help. But just being there is help in itself.

Just 40 mg of Prozac in the morning. Can't blame that for shit sleep because I used to sleep fine on it for years after first getting on it. That was years ago mind you. tried melatonin for a couple of weeks not long ago and that helped a bit, but still nowhere near the 7,8 9 hours of unbroken sleep I used to get. I just can't get a handle on it. If I could sleep I reckon my levels of hppd would drop big time. It's pretty linked. My brains in a bit of a hyper mode just now, but it can go into modes for a week or so at a time too where all I wanna do is sleep and it feels like narcolepsy a bit. Usually through the day.

On a side note i came off prozac and went on zoloft for 3 months and though i hated the feeling and side effects of zoloft more one thing that seemed to improve was the sharpness of my vision (not so blurred) and slight better depth perception which i dunno if its down to zoloft having a bit more to do with dopamine recepters than pzac?