Dan

[Dannybhoy]

I would just like to share my story here, I'm not completely certain I have HPPD, although I think I may have some form of it. On the day of 5/5/2019 while celebrating a friends birthday, I consumed up to 4 tabs of LSD. I'm not certain of the exact amount, it was over the course of the evening. What followed was the most intensely vivid hallucinations. I watched in awe as a tree transformed itself into a series of stacked, doggie droids all armed with rifles, and rotated in synchronized movements. Rugs turned into feline-like mutant creatures with several heads all moving in formation. Forests swayed before me in a dance. 

There was an astounding array of characters all working to put on an exhibition for me. I noticed that it was only when I rested my eyes on a fixed point that I would begin hallucinating fully. When I looked about to and fro as people do naturally, when in conversation or with company, the hallucinations were disrupted and clear Lucid vision was restored. However, when I looked in a single direction for more than just a moment and didn't look away, after just a few seconds,  the Acid would go to work in creating something that would start as some sort of distortion of what was in front of me, and would gradually morph into something more and more complex. If I allowed it, my whole field of vision would be transformed into something increasingly extraordinary and surreal. If I wanted to snap out of it, all I would have to do to see reality clearly again would be to blink and look around me. Keep my eyes moving. This simple action would restore ordinary vision. 

 

 I had acid on multiple occasions prior to this, but this is the first time I had such developed visuals. After some time tripping in this way, I was sitting back watching the trees dance in front of me, when suddenly something unexpected began to happen. The trees that appeared animated and vibrant, in a split second, jumped back to their true nature, that is to say, they would suddenly stop their dance and jump back to how they would appear to a Lucid person. Normal. Then as if rebeginning after an interruption, The forest went back to a rhythmic swaying, but after a about 2 seconds, another sudden jolt back to normal. This continued on loop where my frame of view would begin to become trippy. but only for a couple of seconds before suddenly and invariably being sort of knocked off course, and brought back to reality/normality. Then trippy visuals would resume once more, only to be Knocked off course once again. This pattern of flip flopping between visuals growing then stopping instantly persisted.  

 

The cause seemed to be an involuntary eye movement. It seemed to me as though my eyes were jolting out to the left. Uncontrollably. Like a twitch, that twitched every 2-3 seconds.  

The best way I can describe it is to compare it to the static on an old television monitor, where the picture periodically jumps out of view of the screen for just a mili-second and returns to place. Imagine this is happening to your eye sight. But you can't control it or prevent it and It happens about every very three seconds. There was no grey area between visuals and non-visuals either, there was about 3 seconds of visuals developing then a stark jump to normal view, visuals would begin again, then back to normal, and this sequence repeats itself continuously.  

 

By the time this began happening I'd already done an all-nighter of tripping. So I thought little of it and decided to sleep it off. Only to discover the next day that the problem with my eyes remained; minus the tripping itself (thankfully). Meaning I was no longer hallucinating  or having visuals, although the involuntary jerking of the eyes was still happening.  

 

It is only recently that I've considered that this is related to HPPD.  

 

 

Although, from my perspective, it is like my eyes are jumping around; there is no actual eye ball movement to be seen. My eyes don't physically appear to be jumping around. From the point of view of others and my reflection. 

Opticians have told me that they can detect no defect, be it movement or other anomaly in my eyes, which they say are healthy.  

  

 

I am thankful that my symptoms are not the same as those I've read being described on this site. For that I am grateful and I must commend you all for coping with this affliction.  

 

 

Sometimes I will try to control it.  

I will experiment by covering one eye with a hand or an eye patch. and trying to relax/ focus my vision in the other (seeing) eye. I will attempt to stare straight ahead at a particular spot. By sheer will and focus and relaxation, I do seem to somehow affect the twitchiness,  I can't stop it, but I can slow it down, stall it, and decrease its frequency.  

And if I somehow successfully over ride the flicker, this is when I begin to  experience the more typical HPPD symptoms, floaters, blurriness, after images, distortions, movements, visual snow, and sometimes fluorescent green and purple sprayers. Or my eyes slowly turn inward ( toward my nose). And make lots of tiny oscillating movements. Like they're rolling around independently inside my head.  

 

 

Strangely I don’t have these symptoms when both my  eyes are open, only when I'm messing with whatever is wrong with me and trying to figure it out, by, in this case, closing one eye. 

 

At times a blur begins to appear directly in my line of sight, where I am looking and slowly grows to the point I cannot see anything. Then the involuntary twitch occurs, or I blink  a couple  of times, and i suddenly have clear vision once more as the blur disappears. And it's as if a timer has begun until the next twitch.  

 

 

 I have one theory that these little involuntary twitches, micro movements, and eye rolls are preventing the more common symptoms of Hppd; like the ones I have when I close one eye and try to control the condition.  

 As with each little eye jerk. Its as though the reset button is hit, and I have a few seconds before some fresh hallucinations kick in. It might sound strange, but I think maybe my brain has put in place this twitch so my eyes never stay still long enough to allow the visuals to begin, kind of like a safeguard.  As, a result I have this twitching to contend with, which my unconscious decision making brain has opted for instead of the regular HPPD. I don’t know..maybe ive just gone crazy.  

 

Anyway, if anyone on here has any info, or has experienced similar, strange eye twitching, or can offer any help, I would love to hear from you.  

  

 

[AF44]

That’s really interesting! On the forum, someone mentioned having nystagmus, horizontally, but their eyeballs weren’t actually physically moving. I myself had an experience with a doctor years ago, he shut off the room light quickly and shined a flashlight at me and said, “I have never seen anyone’s eyes do that!” I was so nervous I didn’t even ask what my eyes had done that surprised him. I wish I had asked. This response probably does nothing to help. Sometimes though, my eyes will jerk to the side. I don’t know if it just feels that way or if my eyeballs are physically moving. It happens sporadically. I thought of that just now. I never really thought much about my eyes jerking until I read this. Interesting. Maybe other people have this phenomenon?