Syntheso Posted March 1, 2012 Report Share Posted March 1, 2012 Hi all, Not exactly going to shock you with any of my experience; I know most of you will be able to relate to it, but thought I'd share things from my perspective. I have some questions as well. I only really have the visual symptoms as far as I can tell. I have never noticed any anxiety/panicy emotions..which I am so glad about having heard about others' experiences. I really feel for anyone experiencing those kind of things. I wish you all the best. I generally I feel pretty good in myself and don't let the visual distortions get in the way of my life emotionally (I feel this might be to do with my ability to control myself when I was tripping hard, not letting myself freak out). I would say my visual symptoms are probably on the better side.. I just have the visual snow/heat rising/fuzzy effect.. occasional swirls. I think I had my first 'acid flashback' the other night... basically when I was going to sleep, quite fatigued and had been drinking a bit in the day. Closed my eyes and kept feeling like I was tripping, feeling like there were people around me. Being pulled in and out of these sensations and then remembering where I was etc. You know the kind of stuff I'm talking about... Whilst it was quite freaky, I didn't lose it and had a vague sleep eventually. Question.. I have read many reports of HPPD causing sensitivity to light. I find myself generally feeling very groggy and lethargic. If I have a nap I find it extremely difficult to get up. Same in the mornings. Takes me at least an hour most of the time. This is with a good night's sleep, regular exercise, a good diet, abstinence from substances (up until now I have been having the occasional drinking sesh, but not regularly) and hell, I'm young. I feel physically/mentally (not emotionally) shit all the time. Do you think this is to do with the light sensitivity-eyes not being able to take all that light flooding in? It might be unrelated to HPPD.. sometimes if I have very little sleep as my 'proper sleep', say four hours, I actually find I can get up easily. Weird. Another question... I used to get night terrors when I was a child.. I used to wake up in the middle of the night have hallucinations and visual distortions (tripping from day!), screaming and pointing at things whilst my parents tried to console me. Don't have them any more, but do you think there might be some kind of link to this and contracting HPPD? A tendency in my mind that might have been been brought out by psychoactive substances? The alcohol thread here got me thinking as well. I had an experience a few months ago which I could not explain, but someone's post in that thread made me link it to HPPD. Basically, I drank heavily one night, and completely freaked out.. psychotic, derealisation.. suicidal, all that... really scared a lot of friends and family. Never ever had this problem with drink before. Sure I've been extremely drunk, but never reacted like that... In context, I had been feeling absolutely fine in the weeks upcoming.. took about 10 hours of sleeping before I 'came back down to reality' and felt fine again.. and ever since.. is this little episode perhaps linked to HPPD/psychoactive drug use.. it seems really anomalous to my normal non-sober behaviour. Okay, sure, I was drunk.. but this seems more than just being drunk.. it took me the whole next day before I became 'me' again. People said my face looked completely different until I started acting normal again. Apparently looked like I was on something.. (that is a a theory, that I took something without remembering).. I had had a bit of a Ketamine binge on the upcoming days also. Not good. I never linked drinking to HPPD before, except for maybe bringing up visuals slightly, but I always just thought that was because typically I would drink at night, and only notice them in a dark room which is when they are always worse. My plan now is to give up drinking as well as everything else. Keep up a good diet, sleep pattern, exercise; lifestyle... wait for this horrible vision to leave me be! I do realise, the various points brought up in my post, that I might be trying to blame many things on HPPD. The truth is-I don't know and won't know fully how much it affects my life, but with this condition I think one as to consider all kinds of mental states in relation to it. Thanks for reading.. hope you are getting on alright. Best, S [some background on me and my experience with substances if you wish: I am currently 19 Until the last couple of months, I had a year of frequent experimentation with psychoactive substances (where I was largely depressed and found a lot of happiness in psychedelics).. LSD (which is the one that started giving me noticeable effects), Shrooms, MDMA, 2C's, Methoxetamine, Ketamine etc.. all those things you'd expect. Though, interestingly, I do not smoke Cannabis and have not since a spell when I was 14 where I only smoked for 7-8 months maybe once a week or so (I used to enjoy it, but my parents found out, got mad, and ever since I've never had an enjoyable experience whilst I've been high. Paranoia straight away, and just generally not nice sensations. I had one horrendous trip where I stupidly smoked a whole joint to myself when I hadn't smoked for a year or so. That's been my hardest trip ever and my only negative one other than the alcohol induced madness. My world literally caved in as everything turned to darkness and I lost my sight]. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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