rollingregret Posted February 26, 2012 Report Share Posted February 26, 2012 So for everyone who doesn't know my recent story: http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/578-peoples-benzo-experiences/ It pretty much chronicles how I've gone from thinking my taper was going ok, to where I am now - not stabilized at a lower dose and out of my mind Cliff notes: was on a stable dose of 4mg/day for the better part of 3 years (tried a lower dose the first year, but only helped about 60-75%) In March 2011, cut from 4 to 3.5, experienced WD, came back to baseline (i.e. feeling great) within 10 days Doctor told me to cut in December 2011, 0.25 every so often. I cut from 3.5 to 3.25, had WD but by day 10 thought I had recovered Cut from 3.25 to 3, had WD but by day 10 thought I had recovered Cut from 3 to 2.75. Stayed at this dose and waited for the expected return to baseline. It's been over 8 weeks and I feel totally out of it, spaced out, dizzy, head pressure, "pain" when I try to concentrate, balance issues when I chance my point of focus. I guess these are dissociative symptoms and I feel like (as described by 1998) like I'm on a dose of acid (although never tried it). I don't care much about my visuals as I've gotten used to them but the physical symptpoms are simply unbearable. FTR these are the hallmark features of my original HPPD which were completely cured by clonazepam at 4 and even 3.5mg/day. I should say that the muscle tension that I experience during the first 4-9 days of a cut are at the level of my original HPPD. Then it just fades into this head craziness. I've waited and waited and waited. No return to baseline. My intention was to lower my dose, but now I'm thinking I've crossed the point where 2.75 just isn't doing it for me anymore. The other possibility was that my HPPD was pretty much gone (or manageable) and that I just needed to get through clonazepam withdrawal on the way down. What should I do? If I just try to get off clon (and in the process screw up my life...I'm at a VERY important juncture right now), what if I still have this unbearable HPPD that was being treated very effectively without tolerance at 3.5 (and MAYBE 3.25 or 3)? How do I know whether what I'm feeling is clonazepam WD or simply my HPPD resurfacing? I know many on this board have been proponents of clon working for them for a number of years without tolerance (as was the case for me). I just need to know whether I still have HPPD or not (is it the WD, or is it relapse). 1998 has been super helpful in being able to relate to me and he went through something similar from his 3.5 to 3.25 jump wherein he stabilized after a month (stabilize = return to baseline). People on benzo buddies suggest that going on 9 weeks is a long time to require your GABA receptors to catch up and that you'd have to get off completely to heal. They, however mostly (actually I think maybe one other person) do not have HPPD, thus when they are getting off the drug, they are doing it cuz od tolerance or they have bad side effects (neither the case with me). Thus them coming off the drug WILL get rid of the symtoms i have now because they don't have HPPD, they have anxiety mostly. Many people have given me their input in the thread above, but now it's pushing on, as I said, week 9 and I'm wondering what everyone thinks now about my situation. Thank you so much for your help, I really need some good HPPD-based advice. David, I know you've had your experiences with klonopin, your take would also really help. RR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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