ricskel Posted February 18, 2012 Report Share Posted February 18, 2012 Hey all I've decided to check myself into this forum after dealing with what I think is mild hppd for a few months now. About two years ago I dosed my first shroom trip, and no hppd after that. After that first trip though I was obsessed with psychedellics after having lived a life where many people around me demonized such activities I felt pulled towards them. I did Ayahuasca a few times and this is where I had my major break throughs and where the first 'ego demons' I call them made themselves present. I then did some amanitas and I think that was a mistake because I had a very odd trip which caused some linger thoughts about how worthless life was for weeks. I quit everything but pot after this, but I was smoking pot every day and nothing but pretty potent stuff. I tried doing Ayahuasca again after a couple months and the brews failed so I started getting aggitated and upping the dose of my mimosa until I finally got a trip and it blew me to peices. I woke up on my living room floor and I felt like lifetimes had passed, and I no longer knew what I wanted to do with my life. I continued smoking pot, and then I moved back in to parents live to be closer to my family. My family was an extremely stressing environment with my parents getting divorced and my siblings never could get along. All this with trying to find a job and being broke life was really getting to me. I couldn't sleep at night without marijuana, and this was really starting to bother me because I hadn't dealt with this since after the Army. No I do not have PTSD nor have I ever seen actual combat. But I was in a unit with extremely obessive morons who would make us stay awake 30-40 hours at a time for no reason in the field, and this caused me to develop insomnia which I treated myself with marijuana after I got out of the military. I had a bad experience with the military and got out on a other than honorable discharge because I no longer wanted to be in but I was in the 82nd they wouldn't hear it so I started smoking pot and protesting the war in fatigues, and this really really messed up my life. It took a lot of overcome my parents negative views of me and move on with life. At this point I work as a network technician and I like my job for the most part. I try to keep my life as low stress as possible, and I'm going to quit smoking pot starting next week. I would like to get rid of my hppd. I want to see nature clear again. I want to see the stars and night sky without tracers and weird distortions... My symptoms are not that bad I think, but I really don't know because I haven't been to a doctor. At night I tend to see tracers, but not really when I'm driving. It seems if I have to focus on a task I rarely notice floaters, tracers, or the fog. If I sit and look at a light in the dark I will see a tracer for about ~15seconds or so sometimes... I notice sometimes I will be in the bathroom and I can see this odd visual fog type of almost optical illusion which seems like atoms flying through reality from another dimension is all I can make of it, but I know its a hallucination. I tend to get obsessed in thinking about my life and the future, because I get bored and idle. I try to keep myself busy with car projects, music, and games. Then I started noticing myself getting lost in obsessional thought listening to music and to the point where I would not even hear the music anymore! This really scared me one time and I decided I need to get out of this trance. The thing is I love hallucinogens especially DMT because it has helped me get over so many personal problems in my life and it has taught me how to love myself again and appreciate life for what it is so I really don't know what to do in the long run, because I don't want the hppd back once its gone, but I also know I can't die from it so maybe I should just deal with it to enjoy what I want from life. Anyways I have come here to figure out what I can do about this hppd. Name is Rich btw I'm 22. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!Register a new account
Already have an account? Sign in here.Sign In Now