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Major relapse.... Very frustrating

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So I felt like I was making a very good recovery. My symptoms were only very slight for a couple of weeks and I was feeling very positive indeed. Then the other day I was at work and talking to someone and all i did was think about the time when I had a bad derealization episode and it triggered it all again. Just the thought of it brought my mind back to square one and reality dissolved before my eyes. My hand movements seemed very unusual like the were moving without my control and the person I was talking to turned into a bizarre creature with a very distorted appearance. It's so hard to put this experience into words it's absolutely terrifying and I am so scared of it happening again. Since that episode all of my symptoms are back with a vengeance. I am hoping that this cycle will not continue. It seems like all I have to do is keep my mind on something else but that is so much easier said than done. Anyone else have these sort of problems with triggers like this?

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i experienced something similar when i had hppd i had to be extremely careful what i think and do to not fall back...you need to distract yourself as good as possible and long enough until your normal safe zone has been recovered and became stable again..then you can think of whatever you want without falling back into the fucking cycle...good luck and please dont give up...i know its sooo tough

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Yeah you are right. The problem is in my mind and I have control over my mind it does not control me. I just have to carefully filter out thoughts and brush them to the side. The emotions are harder to control especially despair and anxiety but practice makes perfect. Thanks for the support.

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