Recurrences with pot

[mycall81]

Just a question...

 

I'm an HPPDer for ~ 15 years now.  I had abstained from any hallucinogens, including marijuana for the past 7-8 years.  I do drink alcohol and coffee regularly.  My symptoms had been well controlled and rarely noticeable for years.  I'm on Paxil 15 mg daily, and have been for many years.  I used to suffer from constantly watching floaters, trails, head pressure, and general spaciness.  

 

About 3 months ago, I went through a stressful time involving a break up.  My anxiety levels were high, to the point where I asked my doc for a refill of Klonopin, which I hadn't taken in years.  During this emotional stressor,  I never focused on, or even noticed the old visual issues.  That is, until, while back in my home town for a week, I decided that it would be a good idea to smoke some pot with my old buddies.  I felt as though it would be harmless as my trippiness had essentially resolved.  I smoked 3 times in ~ 2 weeks.  No real 'freak outs', just got real high one time and had to pass out.  

 

Ever since the last time smoking, ~ 2 months ago, I have felt derealization, floaters have become much more apparent, some visual snow, more sensitive to light, and I even notice occasional wavering of stationary objects (because I'm staring so much).  My head feels very pressurized and eyes feel like they are straining.  The symptoms seem to be growing steadily more apparent.  I'm not sure if this is because I've started obsessing over it, or if I truly am completely back to full blown HPPD mode.

 

I wonder if any of you have had similar recurrences from simply smoking pot.  If so, did the intensity of your symptoms fade again over time?  What would the mechanism be of marijuana triggering seemingly undetectable HPPD?  Is it actual neurotransmitter/receptor imbalance?  Neuroplasticity?  Anxiety?  It seems crazy that some pot would reactivate my symptoms for such a long time, so suddenly.  

 

Thanks for taking the time to listen.  My patience is running thin.  I need to get back to my old self.  Finding it difficult to concentrate at work and getting a bit depressed.  

[LethargicAcid]

ive had hppd for 5 months. smoking weed (sativa) for me, i found myself again. then when i quit because i knew it was bad for my hppd, the next day i was derealized and totally out of control . (im dependant on pot). 

 

pot "hangovers" can cause slight derealization in healthy people. so it makes sense.

 

the next day, you are depleted of dopamine. antipsychotics decrease dopamine. antipsychotics are known to make derelization/hppd(i forget which one) worse. also, the amygdala is what marijuana affects and it controls anxiety/fear(forget which one). so the day after pot, the amygdala was damaged from the night before and in the process of repairing itself. so it could have been sending fear signals which could make dr/dp worse.

 

im depressed too... all i can think about is pot but i know its gonna do EXACTLY what u just described. i dont think being high is bad, just the after effects. thats my theory. 

 

i even had suicidal thoughts when i quit weed. cuz of what happened to both of us. 

 

i know that it must be hard for you . i feel sad about it. 

 

i had a meltdown the day that i quit pot EVEN THOUGH i ate 2 valerian roots(a natural xanax thats not addictive or deadly i think) and drank green tea(l theanine has calming effects). 

 

but yeah my advice is to buy valerian root from the internet or local shop its GABA which affects the amygdala and other parts of the brain. drink green tea posibly. vitamin b complex.

 

the best thing i can think of though is to do yoga and meditation. yoga, you can start to feel your body again. they both essentially increase willpower and put u in the moment. the annoying part is that you might not want to be in the moment with all of those floaters . 

 

wear sunglasses, they should help visuals. you can look at the sky with less static:). 

 

drinking coffee increases dopamine which increases focus which makes u feel less dreamy and derealized. more focus. more anxiety though sadly. i actually liked the anxiety because it gave me motivation and i could feel my heart beating . feeling is good. 

 

a trick ive learned to combat dr/dp:    take a shower and put it on hot. warm your body. then get out of the water and put it on coldest setting. go in it without thinking and it will feel uncomfortable but ur heart will beat fast and ur body will work hard and a lot of dopamine will go to ur brain. i felt very good because pain is better than numbness . 

 

go out of your comfort zone to induce fear so that u get adrenaline rushes. itmade at least me feel alive again because i felt like i had a purpose , 

 

good luck im really depressed too.... 

 

sorry for complaining its worse for u .. idk waht to say now ... but i know that talking to people will wake ur brain up cuz that "magical human interactions" cant happen in a dream which is what dr/dp feels like. good luck ! hopefully i dont smoke 

[mycall81]

@lethargicacid  Thanks for the post.  It seems so weird to me.  I thought I was mostly over HPPD.  I almost NEVER focused on my floaters, but since smoking, I see them or focus on them all the time.  I don;t know if I am just anxious or if I changed something "permanently".  How could smoking alter my brain permanently though?!  Keeping fingers crossed that it will slowly fade.  What is this "3 month" theory that Jay seems to reference?  That after smoking, HPPD will be flared for 3 months??

[LethargicAcid]

i think i feel exactly how u just described right now. stayed up for like 48 hours with only a few hours of sleep. fear of going insane. constantly had to do deep breathing and excersize, but they worked well. i particularly think excersize the our best weapon. because we get a limited supply of mental strength, so when our mental strength is low, can use physical strength. just remember that  ur brain is tricking u. maladaptive. im tired as fuck right now. i ate foods that help fatigue.

 

nothing is sure. i know that youre probly low on options, cuz thats how i feel. i was so fucking scared that i was worried, wanting my mom saying "mommy mommy mommy" under my breathe. but i realize that my brain is just panicing. 

 

just remember: ur brain is stronger than  u think. your gonna be fine , ur brain is just setting off alarms. listen to some chill music and focus on the moment. stay away from coffe

[Scroke]

Surprisingly pot doesn't effect me much but NyQuil fucks me up. Alcohol never did anything but last night I got drunk and today my symptoms were pretty bad

[LethargicAcid]

dont trick yourself into thinking that pot is okay though.