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anxiety vision problems or hppd


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Hello! 2 months ago i took some ecstasy that made me hallucinate, but i was okay with that, because i've seen them before. At same night we smoked pot with my friend. Then i strated tripping too hard and i panicked and that is when my vision got weird. I couldn't watch my telephone screen because it was so blurry. The next day i felt nervous, speedy and shaking (anxiety symptoms). I didn't know what happened and i thought that i have done something bad with my brains and i was very worried. Then i noticed that something has happened in my vision. I felt like there was blurry string in middle of my vision and it was hard to focus on things also i had visual snow during the night, afterimages when eyes closed and brighter lights. I was freaked out and thought that i'm going insane. Then i read about hppd and my mood went worse, and i started to observe my vision like staring at white walls and bright colors etc. and it felt getting little worse. Then i read in the internet that bad anxiety can cause vision problems like i had and my psycholog said that i'm just experiencing withdrawal effect and after that i calmed down bit. Lights weren't bright anymore and i could drive during the night, also blurry line in middle of my vision went away but i'm still experiencing visual snow during a night. Last week i was at doctor and he also said that these are just withdrawal effects and it will take some time. I felt very happy that i will recover, but then again i started doubt if my doctor didn't understand me. I was partying last weekend with my friends without any substances and i had very fun and i felt very happy for a long time, but because of partying i slept like 4-5 hours per night. And yesterday my mood was again very low maybe because tired and visual snow got worse and lights appear to be bit brighter again. So now i'm very depressed and anxious because i doubt if i have hppd.

My symptoms are

-visual snow (during night, mild if looking at sky)

-floaters (appear sometimes, again if watching at sky or sometimes at bright screen)

-after images in dark if i close my eyes

I don't have trails or anything else and during the day i hardly notice my symptoms or if i do something like drawing.

Also at after bad trip i had very bad pressure in my eyes, they felt very dry, panic attacks few times after drinking coffee and all symptoms that are related with anxiety. Many of the symptoms have gone but i still feel anxious, depressed, sometimes mood swings, sleep problems. This is also my last year in a school and i'm very stressed if i will graduate out. So this is horrible, so many problems at the same time.

Also my drug use history is not long. Smoked pot about a year very seldom but the last autumn i have used ecstasy once or twice per 2months and tried lsd once and my pot use increased. Didn't see any changes back then, only after bad trip.

So now i haven't use any substances for 2 (even coffee) months and i'm competive swimmer so i exercise almost every day for 2 hours.

So question is did i just freaked out so badly during the trip that led me in to the post traumatic state or did i get hppd?

I've read that anxiety can cause visual snow, blurry vision, floaters, flashing lights and afterimages.

Please help me, i'm very desperate and depressed. I feel like i've ruined my life, but i still see that small light in the end of the tunnel.

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Thank you for your answer, i think i just have to accept that i have it and live on even though it's hard right now. At some point that bad trip had a good effect on me because i don't want to trip anymore and live healthy live.

What do you think will it ever go away?

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There is a doctor who study hppd called Dr.Abraham and he said hppd have 50% chance of recovery hehe. Mine is getting better slowly. I dont't know if my mind is adapting itself or I'm getting better, but I'm doing things that I couldn't do ago 2-3 months, like go outside, just sign to the gym, playing football.

Just stay sober and try do normal live, but reduce stress man. Your chance of recovery depends from things you'll do since now.

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I wouldn't call that HPPD, but visual distortions caused by hallucinogenic drugs. It's a very mild version of HPPD, but I wouldn't call it that since it doesn't sound like a daily interfering disorder. I understand that you feel uncomfortable with these symptoms though. It's great that you found out this soon enough before it got worse. Stay clean and you will be fine, if not, then these symptoms won't kill you either and you will get used to it. Good luck! :)

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