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Greetings from Matt


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Hey Guys,


Long time lurker, but figured it was time to officially join the community.  Have had HPPD for about 3.75 years.  Fairly occasional user of hallucinagens from ages 17-24 (LSD/Mushrooms/MDMA).  Should also mention I'm a lightweight when it comes to pyschoactives.  Was 1 week about 4 years ago that did me in...  Ate about 1.5 grams of really strong mushrooms one night (pretty good trip actually) and then a couple nights later ate some MDMA, stupidly on an empty stomach (insanley intense night of rolling) - felt pretty weird for the next couple days.  Then very stupidly, not thinking anything of it, decided to eat a thick mushroom stem about 2 days after the MDMA.  An intense feeling of impending doom and panic came over me which lasted about 45 minutes - I have not been the same ever since... 


At first, I experienced what I would describe as intense episodes of DP/DR and panic (flashbacks? during 1 "episode" I was convinced somebody at McDonalds had slipped me acid), lasting about 1-2 hours.  After a couple months of these I was in a constant state of DP/DR and developed (or first noticed) symptoms of HPPD.  I experience all the usual suspects - Visual Disturbances (Floaters, Flashers, Halos, Starbursting, Afterimages, Visual Snow, Trails), Brain Fog (have trouble talking and not losing train of thought in the middle of a sentence, paying attention in general), DP/DR (constant "trippy" feeling, emotionless, blank inside), and really bad social anxiety (get's so bad sometimes that I actually vomit / dry heave when in uncomfortable social situation).  Also, I have very vivid dreams, which seem to last the entire night - I wake up exhausted every morning from "over-dreaming".


Took 7 month break from smoking weed at the beginning but didn't notice any difference, so have occasionaly smoked since, but trying to stop for good.  Still drink 8-16 drinks a week.  And I'm perscribed Xanax to take as needed, which is usually about 5 .5mg pills a week (take 4-7 day long breaks fairly often). 


I eat healthy (lots a fish and veggies) and get lots of exercise (surfing, long walks, bike rides) on a regualr basis.


Seeing a neurologist soon and am hoping to get perscribed Keppra, as it seems to have diminished Brain Fog and DP/DR for many members of this site.  If it does the same for me, I'll consider it a victory of sorts.  My doctor has been pushing Wellbutrin, which I have denied, but if Keppra doesn't do the trick then I plan on giving that a shot.


Anway like I said, I've been lurking around here for years now and felt it was finally time to join! Told my Stepdad about HPPD today and he told me his brother had a bad trip in high school and was in a weird state for nearly ten years, but slowly came out of it.  I was stunned!  There's many more of us out there than we'll ever know. 

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