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Veiw on life to dark


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ive been going through a lot lately, been getting in shape, eating healthier, transferred to a new school and have met a lot of new friends and hot chicks. I can't feel happy though, at least not that much because my depersonalisation, and I'm trying my best to get out of that. One thing I've noticed is that my Veiw on the world is dark, I've become used to a life of hppd/dp so i except everything to be a disappointment. I feel like all the other teens are all happy and enjoying there life. Can anyone relate? How can I start looking at things positive again?

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I definitely had a more pessimistic view of the world after initially acquiring HPPD, but it quickly dissipated after I was prescribed Klonopin and it put the majority of my symptoms into remission. Then, I foolishly became addicted to cannabis again and perceived the world pessimisticly and with a substantial amount of contempt; after my Adderall binge, everything was put into perspective again, in conjunction with severe cognitive impairment. At least I've been clean and sober for almost a month, but my HPPD is far more severe thanks to my drug-induced disinhibition and a sense of invincibility to non-hallucinogenic substances regardless of the dosage. I've literally baselined and feel identical to how I felt three years ago; it's a mortifying case of déjà vu. If I didn't have a phenomenal, supporting, beautiful, divine family I probably would've committed suicide by now for being so imbecilic. I am genuinely at a loss on how I'll recover from this secondary HPPD nightmare, but it's a better alternative than leading myself into self-destruction and inevitable death, as I have been doing this past year. Perhaps, this was divine intervention, or perhaps I'm just now irrefutably psychotic.

Hope is what helps me persevere, amongst other elements in my life I cherish too much to permanently leave behind.

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Patience is all you have.  It's a terrible feeling...I know, because I share the same.  I dealt with it for a very long time.  Like Cannabrain talks about, the hope is what kept me going.  As long as I could measure a tiny bit of progress every week, I knew I could continue on with my recovery.

 

One thing to point out, at least with me, is sex or masturbation worsen those feelings for me.  The longer I abstain, the better I feel.  Try it out for yourself, and see what happens.

 

Not saying you have to do it forever, but it could help your recovery to give yourself a break if you're frequently having sex.

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