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I met a fellow HPPDer!


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Years ago, during the first few years when this syndrome was at its worst and most brutal, I met up with a fellow HPPDer. This was achieved of course by networking on this board. Contrary to my expectations, there was no instant bond, no tinsel, fireworks or confetti, just two very screwed up people with the same condition dealing with different symptoms on a very wide scale. In fact, most of the night after making contact he pretty much ignored me for the rest of the evening as I witnessed him drink himself into oblivion. Shortly after that encounter, his visits to the board were...sporadic. Eventually he stopped logging in altogether which means one of two things; either he was alcohol tolerant which I find rare if not impossible among our patient group or he killed himself. I believe it was the latter. I don't feel as though there is much to be gained by meeting one another unless we organize and crash an APA meeting or legitimately attend medical based events that would raise awareness to the medical community as to our condition and numbers. See, I don't think this is a rare condition, rather, it is under diagnosed and it's those of us lucky to stumble upon this site which gives us some scope as to what we have, what we are dealing with and what (if any) to look forward. There are many shades of hppd and for those of us with the overwhelming strength and instinct to survive who are quasi disabled by this condition we owe it to ourselves as much as future sufferers to spread awareness. I love you guys don't get e wrong but there are only two conditions whereby I'd be interested in meeting any of you; either at a function with an intent based on constructive ends or when we are cured. Dealing with this shit alone is trouble enough.

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Funny, I have wondered what it would be like to find a support group for hppd sufferers. That would be in a professional setting with rules for constructive engagement. In your case, I can understand the disappointment. Since my symptoms seem to be getting worse lately (not sure if it's anxiety, of if it's really worse), I have also been drinking more than I should. Every day is a battle for hope. I don't think I'd be great company either. Hope he didn't commit suicide, that would be quite a depressing end to the story.

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Interesting (sad if I were human) how many drink themselves into oblivion.  But HPPD can scare the crap out a person and alcohol is a self-medication/way-out.

 

Wonder how we might separate support groups?  Recent (short-term), Been-a-while (medium-term), Long-timers?  Perhaps: hysterical, blue, reconciled?

 

How about left-brain or right-brain

 

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It is a parody of the concern of meeting other HPPDers ... who and under what circumstances.  While many of us might want to, some cases can be a real downer such as the original posters experience.  To meet with someone who is on a destructive course from the very same problem is less then helpful ... then add that there is a probability that they killed themselves and it is worse.  The fangs are HPPD and its potentially destructive course.  The two faces reflect the conflicts in viewpoints, the two-sides of a coin.

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