Hello, new part of my life

[ollie]

Hi Everyone,

I am really please to have found you, to know that I not alone and to make sense of what is happening to me.

A bit of background, I am mid twenties, male, from UK.

About a month and a half ago, I took a very large amount of white powder I expect maybe 0.5-1g of probably MDMA at a club. I was drunk and my friend said "put this in your drink." Previously at college a few yrs ago I had dabbled in all sorts but definatelly was a cautious user.

Week 1 Massive come down depression, hating the world, literally was my worst week ever. Considered leaving job. Jumping on a plane to a far away beach. Brain fog, cognitive problems.

W2 Depression mostly gone, very bad anxiety, still had brain fog, eye sight not at its best (HPPD start?) constantly exhausted, headaches. Worried I had brain damage, started to investigate on the web.

W3-W5 kept myself busy, tried to recover, tried to ignore everything, but very tired.

W6 After taking some OTC sleeping pills as could not sleep I properly noticed and pondered my vision, it looks grainy - visual snow. I went to optician who couldnt find anything wrong. So I began searching and evertually found you guys.

I have stopped any caffine or alcohol, and am trying to eat healthly and get exercise as advised.

My problems are:

VS 24/7 - this makes reading on a PC very difficult as the white spaces around words seem to swirl and flicker.

Anxiety

Tinnitus 24/7 also my hearing seems to be deteriating.

Fatigue

Occasional brian fog.

(also floaters, star bursts, halos, after images, diffulty seeing in low light)

I am crossing my fingers for improvement, but am realistic. Sorry for the long message.

[miketusa]

Well, it's only been a month and half. So only time will tell. You do have a lot of the symptoms though. It's good you are taking precautionary steps to prevent it from possibly worsening. That was my first mistake. For me, the mental symptoms were a fault of my own. Once you realize you need to stop beating yourself up you will feel much better. You sound like you are dealing with it ok, which is good. Ignore tinnitus, and it should go away on its own. That symptom generally comes and goes for me. I take magnesium for anxiety and headaches, and that seems to do the trick. Consider getting on a few supplements. Id recommend magnesium, fish oil, and possibly St. Johns Wort as a mood enhancer. For sleep you can't go wrong with Valerian Root, because it also helps with the anxiety. Though, it seems like you need help in the energy department. Id try and take some vitamins. Like A and C. Drink some orange juice, and eat bananas to get going in the morning. They do make supplements that apparently boost energy naturally. I have not tested these myself, and would be careful with them. Stimulants made my hppd immediately worse. The best thing you can do, is put on a brave face, do your best to avoid things like alcohol, and eat a more balanced diet. Excercise a lot. The better you feel about yourself mentally and physically, the better off you will be in the long run, regardless of whether you trully have HPPD or not. Hope that helped. I'm going to tell you upfront, there are a lot more questions than there are answers regarding this illness. Some recover, some do not. Put yourself in the best position possible to deal with it, and either way, I think you find you will be alright. Just remember to lighten up a little, it has only been a month or so for you, and only time will tell.

[mgrade]

Welcome Ollie,

Feel free to say what you want to say, regardless of the length of your post. The things you are saying are things that happen to people who do drugs and listen to loud music. When we get real old, we are pretty much expected to be total deaf, blind, and demented. lol....... You have time to lament about the loss of some of your senses. Or envy of things that you once had. .......remember that the anxiety is because of drug use, loss of senses, and influence from external, current state of affairs. You do not have a panic disorder: things can be much worse but they are not. ........In the meantime, try to be as happy as you can and emerse yourself into the HPPD community.

[ferret]

Just try to relax and distract yourself. Anxiety causes or at least amplifies most symptoms so try to control that one first. I bet you'll be fine in a month or two. I got HPPD 6 and 1/2 months ago. I have basically made a full recovery but it took mee 5 and 1/2 months (but I waas real close after four). i think you'll be ok. Know that it isn't going to get worse on its own (it might get a little worse temporarilly but overall you'll see improvement).

[ollie]

Thanks guys for great advice, I will definatelly try some of those supplements. You are right worry seems to be the killer. I'm going to try to be more positive and occupy my time with some hobbies.

[ollie]

Mikezero: Hi, just a quick update I did as you suggested and bought St John's Wort and Valerian Root this weekend. (was taking the omega3 and magnesium already) I was really impressed with how effective the St John's Wort was at reducing my anxiety/low mood. I am taking the suggested 3 caps a day and feel so much more calm and measured. Still having sleeping problems, now due to the tinnitus, but the valerian root does help a bit, and I don't get so stressed that I am not yet asleep. So yeah super advice, cheers mate.

[miketusa]

Glad to hear it bud! It really does work fairly well.

[mgrade]

I just found out that St. John's Wart is basically an SSRI, you know like Prozac or something. Nature is funky... lol

****St. Johns wort seems like it may be a GABA reuptake inhibitor also. It also brought me to another drug Tiagabine. ​

[cs1234]

ollie it's great you've already chosen to live healthier and stay sober. I can't praise thinking positively enough as well. I'm fairly certain you'll recover, but sometimes it can take a while. anyways, just wait it out and keep your head up. eventually the visuals will stop bothering you and then probably fade away. good luck!