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Jjjj

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Posts posted by Jjjj

  1. 19 hours ago, Fawkinchit said:

    Yah I understand. Its a really difficult condition, and definitely has better times, and worse times. It gets really difficult when the flare ups last, its the worst when they seem to last forever. How long have you had it for? 

    I have had this for around 12 yrs now. The first time I got this I quit drugs and eventually my symptoms got better and I went some yrs without even thinking about hppd. I thought I had beat it for good. Then I got very sick with a fever and it triggered all my symptoms again since then every fever I get seems to trigger those episodes. I guess everyone’s triggers are different but it’s definitely scary having to go through all of the intense visuals and feeling like nothings real all over again. 

  2. 13 hours ago, Fawkinchit said:

    Yah I can try and help, what's up?

    @Jay1 is probably better to talk with than me though.

    I am dealing with a major flare up of symptoms I do not use anymore however I seem to have big flare ups when I get fevers I myself don’t understand this I haven’t used in years each time I seem to get out of this hell hole I go right back to square one. All of my symptoms are so strong visual snow, after images, colors are intense and have major dpr. It makes me very depressed and anxious thinking I have destroyed my brain forever. Also what manly scares me is the after images, this makes it very hard to do easy things like read or watch tv. I am in school right now and I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything because it has become so difficult to read. I feel like no one else really understands what I am going through except for people on this forum. 

  3. Hello guys,

    I am back on here again because I recently recovered from an illness which heightened all my symptoms once again. What I’m mainly concerned about now is my after images. They have increased in severity and it is very hard for me to read or view things. I have even worried about going basically blind or vision impaired because of it which is what truly freaks me out. Does anyone have or has had this symptom as well as strong  as mine and has noticed it get better over time?? That has been causing some anxiety and panic in me. 

  4. 35 minutes ago, Tsunami said:

    I promise you that you won’t need to quit college due to symptoms, I had flashbacks during class back when I overloaded 21 credit hours at a uni while I was a senior in highschool and managed to get all A’s in every class besides one (a D in orgo chem, but that’s because I was a lazy bastard and started skipping all my orgo classes after getting an A on the first exam to try and flex). It’s been about 3 years now and I get no after images. The visual snow is only noticeable when I’m in the dark or staring at a dark object, and even then it makes absolutely no impact on my life. I got HPPD from nBOME, and after talking to Facebook users that got HPPD through the same drug they all mentioned that the visual snow always stuck but that it never became an issue after about 1-2 years. The frequency of acid flashbacks also went down significantly, last one I remember having was two years ago. If it’s reduction in symptoms you’re looking for, time will be your friend. Don’t do drugs ever again though, seriously. It’ll prolong your recovery time and at worst could relapse symptoms. The most I’ve done in the past year was get tipsy once and drunk once.

    Wow, you have no idea how much better reading this made me feel. I literally was freaking out about possibly having to quit school because of all my symptoms which makes it so hard to study or even retain anything in general. I am also typically an A student. I don’t really experience flashbacks with me it’s more the visuals which causes extreme panic and derealization. I also sometimes get vertigo and feel like the room is moving. I’m definitely done with drugs. Thanks for your input it really helped me out! 

    • Upvote 2
  5. On 1/31/2022 at 8:12 PM, Tsunami said:

    I'm also in college. I used to have terrible symptoms akin to yours the first year I've had HPPD but I managed to push through with my classes by doing my work and studying no matter how shitty I felt. You have to believe in your ability to bounce back and adapt to these new changes, which eventually got me back to baseline workwise (and now I'm better than I was before). Live clean and healthy, find something to dedicate yourself to, and life will become better.

    I will have to just try to push though. It would depress me even further knowing I had to quit college over this. I hope it fades away with time and I will think in the positive side and ability to bounce back. Thanks! Did any of the visual snow and after images seem to reduce for you after a while? Ide be happy with even just a reduction of symptoms.   

    • Like 1
  6. On 8/4/2021 at 8:27 AM, cosmiccharlie said:

    Welcome to the forum! I wish we could meet under more pleasant circumstances but here we are.  You are indeed very young and I think that will work in your favor.  For me, I also contracted HPPD about 14 years ago from excessive and frequent  LSD use.  It does get better! But your recovery depends upon you.  More drugs will almost always make the condition worse.  For me, sobriety, time and a healthy lifestyle got me back on my feet. What do I mean by sobriety?  Well, weed always exacerbates my symptoms as well as drinking so I stay away from those things.  Even years later, I tried a small amount of weed a few time to take the edge off and it brought my symptoms back. But they receded over time.  The best advice I can give you is find a hobby, something that challenges you and is satisfying and throw yourself into it.  If you are in school, focus on your studies too.  Exercise always helps me with anxiety and mental funk plus plenty of sleep and a good diet.  You'll be fine just stay away from drugs for at least a while to let your mind recover.  Life is not over, I myself have accomplished a lot after contracting this HPPD business: I served on a nuclear submarine, I am a PhD student in math and I have a healthy marriage with one amazing daughter and another on the way.  Stay positive and put one foot in front of the other and before you know it you'll feel like yourself again.  This is a great forum for when you feel hopeless or have questions but try not to obsess over the condition; this typically makes it worse.  Let your mind heal and you'll get your life back. 

    Such an awesome and positive response. Out of curiosity, did you suffer from afterimages and visual snow?  

    • Upvote 1
  7. Hi everyone,  

    As I mentioned before I recently had a relapse of symptoms but the worst of them all for me is the head pressure and brain fog. I always feel like I can’t concentrate on things or think clearly. I also always feel like I’m in a dream like state so I still feel tired even after I sleep. I can’t really distinguish sleep from reality anymore in a sense. 

    How do you deal with this? I am in college and it is making very worried that I might have to stop attending over this.  
    I also have had my afterimages increase in severity. Will this fade over time? 

  8. I have described my most recent relapse in another discussion forum but I will post here as well. Does anyone else seem to recover and get passed the extreme anxiety (learn to cope with it) only for it to return after some time? This has been my third relapse, I was recently struck with Covid and when I got better I was hit with all of these symptoms coming back again. I have extreme anxiety, insomnia, fear, I have more after images and everything around me seems to look different in a higher resolution. Does anyone else have these issues? I am beginning to just get very tired of this rollercoaster I have been on for years.  

  9. Hello everyone,

    Recently I was sick with Covid and well into recovery I have noticed my symptoms have came back. I have extreme anxiety, everything looks very bright, I can’t sleep, and my afterimages have gotten worse. I also have visual snow and I think it slightly increased. I am having a complete relapse again for the third time in my life. I am having a tough time trying to deal with it. It seems that every time I get really sick it brings back those symptoms. Does anyone else experience the same?? 

    • Like 1
  10. On 8/1/2019 at 7:35 AM, sami said:

    There could be something else, possible infection, that makes it worse. I'm in the same boat. Abstaining from drugs, living healthy, hasn't helped me. Lyme, mold, etc. could be the reason your hppd gets worse.

    After a while though I've gotten quite used to it. Still depressed about it but life goes on. DP/DR is a lot better once I got my anxiety in check. I'm treating my hppd now as it is a result of lyme infection and drugs, since I have a lot of other symptoms than just the hppd ones (joint pain, random pain, digestive issues, other neurological issues not covered by hppd).

    Oh yes! Being really ill can definitely bring back hppd symptoms! From my experience I thought I had beaten my hppd and lived hppd symptom free for a few years, then out of nowhere I was struck with the flu and had a bad fever and ever since then I’ve had my hppd symptoms return. It was absolutely horrifying to me to find out that sickness could bring these symptoms back. I thought as long as I stayed away from drugs I would be good for life but I was completely wrong. Now I take better care of myself. I make sure I am very hygienic to avoid  other possible illnesses and try to exercise and eat healthier. I guess once you have had a history of hppd there’s no telling what can bring it back. The only real thing you can do is just try to live as healthy as possible. 

  11. From my experiences with hppd the only real cure is time and avoiding getting high. With time, it’s like your brain rebuilds itself making the hppd symptoms more mild. But it is a process and takes time, you will definitely have to be patient it doesn’t happen over night. It can take even years to finally start feeling like a normal person again. 

  12. I had a relapse after getting really ill with fever. I was on like 3 different medications. There was only 2 things that I feel that could have caused my relapse, either the medications or the fever. After this, I’m never taking medication again and I’ll be trying to stay healthier to avoid any illness. These are the only things I can do to make sure I do not have another relapse in the future. It’s like starting all over again. I never thought you could have relapses without tripping again. This was only in mind as a psychedelic side effect only and as long as you didn’t trip again on any drug you would be fine. Well, I was wrong! Now I feel like I have to watch my back with anything I come in contact with.

  13. 12 hours ago, MadDoc said:

    Yes, there is hope for you.  Don't start thinking there is no hope.  Your symptoms significantly moderated before and that's a really good sign.  I have no idea why the flu, tamiflu, or antibiotics would cause a relapse (I'm not a doctor or a medical professional).  I'm hyper-sensitive to cold medications and don't take them.  You may have a similar issue

    Have you had a physical since you were sick?  Just curious.  

    Stay clean, stay focused, and give yourself some time.  I can't stress enough, your life is worth living!  Don't ever underestimate your inner strength.

    Hang in there and take care.

     

    Thank you for your reply. I’m just as confused as you are on why I had a relapse completely out of nowhere after getting sick. At this point, I think it may had something to do with how sick I got and it might have made my body very weak causing my mental state to become weak as well. That was the most ill I’ve ever been in my life and it really knocked me out for a few weeks. Prior to this happening I have used other medications and never had any side effects to even come close to this. And no I have not had a physical since I was sick but I am thinking of making a drs appointment soon to rule out any other causes for this. It just feels like my whole life is a haze or even dream like. My thoughts are so unorganized and I have also lost sense of time and days because of my symptoms. I will keep in mind to take care of myself more and see if there is any improvement. 

  14.  

    On 4/13/2017 at 7:35 AM, ndls said:

    Hello, I'm ndls, a 29 year old guy with HPPD since 2005.

    I've just had a massive relapse of HPPD symptoms last week. I was given the diagnosis of ADD a short while ago, and got prescribed Concerta. I didn't think much of this, since HPPD was in my mind naively psychedelic related only. The HPPD didn't bother me anymore, and the symptoms had faded down over the years to just some static on walls and not much more. But from one dose of 36mg Concerta I woke up the next day and was instantly back at the level I had when it all started in 2005.

    What gave me HPPD all those years ago is the rc-chemical 4-AcO-DET.

    Let's just say I have massive anxiety, rethinking my situation and is what is feasible to expect in the near future, etc. This is a massive crisis for me and to be honest I'm almost suicidal at this point. It is a week after that dose of Concerta and it hasn't diminished at all. What can I expect? Did I threw away what I had and now it's all lost? That's my biggest fear right now.

    Can you give us an update on how you are feeling now?? Have any of the symptoms gotten better??

  15. Hello,

    When I was teenager I had some experiences with weed and synthetic weed. I was not a chronic user. I probably got high about 8/10 times at most with weed and about 5 times with synthetic. After smoking what I think was laced weed I started to experience hppd from that next day on. I dealt with it for about 1-2 years and noticed it greatly diminished to the point where I didn’t even know what hppd felt like anymore. Every now and then I would get a little panicky but most of the effects were gone. Well after about 6 years I got struck with a really bad flu and was prescribed some antibiotics and the generic brand for tamiflu. One day as the flu symptoms went away I literally woke up feeling hppd all over again as hard as the first time around. It felt like I was doing drugs all over again. Now I’m left with the confusion of how it resurfaced without recent illicit drug use. Now I’m battling hppd all over again and my symptoms have caused severe anxiety and depression. For a while it seemed to be getting a bit better but somehow the anxiety got a hold of me a bit stronger and I am back to the beginning of it. I’m having constant visuals, after images, ghosting, and I have a really hard time concentrating on things or even remembering things because of how I feel. I also noticed a big increase in visual snow. Has anyone had a flare up similar to this?? Or has anyone had it more than once and got it to go away again?? What should I do in my condition?? Any advice? Is there hope for me? I thought I had defeated this and now that I am experiencing this again it has completely made me second guess my whole life. I am also starting to have suicidal thoughts. Should I just hang in there and see if time will help? At this point idk what to do and need help. (Btw this happened in February of 2018 it is now July 2019 and I’m still struggling) 

  16. On 4/13/2017 at 7:35 AM, ndls said:

    Hello, I'm ndls, a 29 year old guy with HPPD since 2005.

    I've just had a massive relapse of HPPD symptoms last week. I was given the diagnosis of ADD a short while ago, and got prescribed Concerta. I didn't think much of this, since HPPD was in my mind naively psychedelic related only. The HPPD didn't bother me anymore, and the symptoms had faded down over the years to just some static on walls and not much more. But from one dose of 36mg Concerta I woke up the next day and was instantly back at the level I had when it all started in 2005.

    What gave me HPPD all those years ago is the rc-chemical 4-AcO-DET.

    Let's just say I have massive anxiety, rethinking my situation and is what is feasible to expect in the near future, etc. This is a massive crisis for me and to be honest I'm almost suicidal at this point. It is a week after that dose of Concerta and it hasn't diminished at all. What can I expect? Did I threw away what I had and now it's all lost? That's my biggest fear right now.

    I have almost the exact same story. I had hppd really bad in 2012. Over the course of several years it greatly diminished to the point where I didn’t even remember what hppd felt like anymore. Recently, I was struck with a really bad flu and after taking tamiflu and antibiotics I woke up one day feeling the exact same way I did back in 2012. It was hell. I had extreme anxiety and all those feelings came flooding back. I also had extreme negative thoughts about my life. Literally everything you described I felt the exact same way. I’m just trying to think positive and think that if I had almost defeated it in the past why can’t I do it again? After having my experience and now reading yours, I believe there was something in those drugs that our brains didn’t react well too. After all, they are prescribed for a reason and not over the counter. Stay strong, I hope this too will pass. But after this I’m definitely staying away from all drugs period unless their over the counter. 

  17. On 4/13/2017 at 7:35 AM, ndls said:

    Hello, I'm ndls, a 29 year old guy with HPPD since 2005.

    I've just had a massive relapse of HPPD symptoms last week. I was given the diagnosis of ADD a short while ago, and got prescribed Concerta. I didn't think much of this, since HPPD was in my mind naively psychedelic related only. The HPPD didn't bother me anymore, and the symptoms had faded down over the years to just some static on walls and not much more. But from one dose of 36mg Concerta I woke up the next day and was instantly back at the level I had when it all started in 2005.

    What gave me HPPD all those years ago is the rc-chemical 4-AcO-DET.

    Let's just say I have massive anxiety, rethinking my situation and is what is feasible to expect in the near future, etc. This is a massive crisis for me and to be honest I'm almost suicidal at this point. It is a week after that dose of Concerta and it hasn't diminished at all. What can I expect? Did I threw away what I had and now it's all lost? That's my biggest fear right now.

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