hi MadDoc,
I appreciate very much your input and words. As a newbie I'm not aware of the ettiquette, but I promise both you and Jay that no apologies are needed by me. I used to really believe I was the only one in the world with this affliction. I didn't even know HPPD was a "thing" until 2012. I just thought acid had f'ed me up. I was extremely happy to find out it was a recognised condition, and if I'm honest, that I wasn't alone (although I would not wish this upon anyone).
I whole heartedly agree with importance of acceptance and taking responsibility, and realising that yes I did this to myself! I only have my own experiences to share and what has helped me, and at the risk of labouring my point I have to remind myself (alot!) that it could have been so much worse. For example, a friend who I grew up with has lived in a mental care facility since he was 18 years old, unable to look after himself, basically a zombie; he was a normal teenage kid before and now he is like this and will be until he dies, as a direct result of his drug use - would I swap places with him? I would not. But I bet he would swap places with me.
There are so many stories like this, and worse - so yes, I am grateful for what I have.