fruitgun

So I got some LMM capsules, each capsule is 620 mg and it says you should take three capsules a day.

I started today, I took one in the morning and felt kind of good. Later on I felt some anxiety but it was not such big of a deal. Than in the afternoon I took a second one and later on I noticed rather strong anxiety, my visuals also seemed to be getting stronger. Also it seems like I am thinking fast, especially when I lie down with closed eyes a lot of random thoughts and pictures are racing through my head. Furthermore I feel kind of depressed and desperate right now. 

It's 19:30 now here and I planned to take the third capsule between 21:00 and 22:00. But I am not sure, I do not want to increase the anxiety even more for nighttime. Maybe I will just leave it at two capsules per day for starters.

Is it normal for symptoms to increase when you start taking LMM? I do not want to give it up completely.

6 hours ago, K.B.Fante said:

I tried SSRIs and though they made me feel artificially happy they did nothing for my symptoms and gave me additional side effects I might have for the rest of my life. That's not necessarily something I'm excited about, so I've switched to natural antidepressant herbs and vitamins and I feel pretty great all things considered. 

What side effects did you get from SSRIs?

I regularly have a feeling of being stoned or on a low dose of mushrooms. I know that many sufferers have similar symptoms. Is there any medication/ treatment to reduce this?

Anyone made any experiences with RC benzos for treating HPPD symptoms?

These are the ones which seem to be available right now:

Clonazolam 

Pyrazolam 

Flubromazolam 

Fonazepam 

Nitemazepam 

3-HydroxyPhenazepam 

4-Chloro-Diazepam 

I have read that Pyrazolam is very anxiolytic so it might be my choice for now. But I have actually never taken any benzo so far and RC benzos are supposed to be stronger than normal benzos. So I am cautious and yeah of course I would only take it in moments of extreme anxiety.

Looks like you made great progress. I am also currently recovering from a bad mushroom trip but I am only 3,5 months in. Sometimes it feels like this is going to stay forever, sometimes it feels like I already improved a lot. Thanks for your motivating post and I hope your remaining symptoms will also diminish over time.

Anyone tried castor oil for means of detoxification and did it help to alleviate your symptoms?

I got a bottle of it now and might try it for a while but I read that it can lead to nutrient loss and dehydration so I am cautious.

Would you say that you can rule out any chance of 100% recovery after a certain time? 

Like when you are having HPPD for 10 or 20 years, do you think it is still possible to recover and feel healthy again?

So do you think there are different chances of recovery depending on the age at which it starts?

Like when you are 16, your brain is still in some strong development process AFAIK. But I am not sure if this is good or bad.

On the one hand, due to the oncoming brain growth, the HPPD might grow out. On the other hand it seems plausible that it is more probable for the HPPD to manifest itself in the brain structures when you get it during this development stage.

What do you think?

So I just thought "fuck it" and took one pill again.

I am not sure if it is better or worse. At first I thought my DP/ DR feelings get worse, but I think I also feel the antidepressing feature of it. 

Mostly I feel a bit like "heatened up" or electrified. but I need something more sedative I guess.

This pill is probably not the best choice in my current state, but I will see.

edit: I also have the impression that this raises my blood pressure. When I took it for several days, I always felt exhausted from running for a few seconds or taking a couple of stairs. 

edit2: So I was actually able to lie down in bed for quite a while without feeling like absolute shit. That is better than nothing I guess. But when I closed my eyes, I saw dreamlike sequences, I had weird thought patterns and I think one time a short auditory hallucination. So basically like always when I want to fall asleep.

So my problems started in Novemebr and in December I started taking Valerian against my nervousness and I think it kind of helped. But I still had this "dark" feeling of loneliness and despair from my shroom trip appearing regularly. So in early January I thought I could try St John's Wort, so I got some pills with Valerian and St John's in it.

 And I think it actually helped. I still had some anxious thoughts but I felt kind of normal. However it had some side effects like heavy headaches, a feeling of tension on face and neck, pain in chest and stomach. But I could concentrate on movies, write my bachelor thesis etc.

The medicine made me feel kind of confident so I thought "well fuck these side effects", I quit taking this.

So I took my last St John's Wort on 12th January around 8 am. Then I felt kind of okay the rest of the day, but then around 8 pm I got a heavy anxiety attack, probably the heaviest in weeks.

And since then I feel like absolute shit, my symptoms have worsened a lot, I can barely sleep or eat. I feel worse then before I started the St John's.

So do you think these are withdrawal symptoms or did the St John's Wort have a negative long term effect on my health?

I mean I only took St John's a few days and on the same day I had that panic attack I took one like 12 hours before. So withdrawal does not seem so logical.

However these pills are low dosed, there is only 100 mg St John's and 50 mg Valerian in one pill. It is recommended to take four a day. So one pill in the morning is not much for one day.

I consider taking these St John's/ Valerian pills again but I am not sure if would have a positive or negative impact. I feel anxiety the whole day and often strong anxiety. So I am not even sure if this herbs would be strong enough anymore.

Maybe my situation just developed negatively independtly from the pills.

What do you think?

edit: I think it is probable that I got in a cycle because of this anxiety attack. Maybe taking only one pill for one day was really to low and then I drank too much caffeine and so I got into this anxiety attack. And now I think "oh fuck I am so sick and anxious", and this makes me more anxious.

Hi,

I have my problems for 2,5 months now and I think about going to the neurologist. If it is actually HPPD aka neurological damage, shouldn't it be measurable?

I do not have so many hallucinations, it is mostly anxiety and feeling of being detached from the world. I sometimes think I triggered some kind of schizophrenia by drug use. I did not even do a lot of psychs, just shrooms two times and both times low doses. However the second time was quite horrible and I feel like this experience "haunts" me. I felt very isolated and horrified on shrooms and somehow I can't get rid of this feeling. Sometimes I hope that I am "just" psychologically traumatized. 

However if an actual neurological damage happened, is it measurable?

3 hours ago, Jay1 said:

I would get a 2nd opinion...., anti pysch meds are very strong and have a history of making hppd sufferers feel even worse.

As scary as it is right now, I would try to sit it out without meds.... Eat healthy, get excerising, go 100% clean (no alcohol, no smoking and obviously no drugs).... At this stage, you have a really good chance of recovery.

Some benzos for really tough moments might be a good idea, just be sensible with them.

Keep on fighting, Jay

Thanks.

Yes I don't consume any alcohol, caffeine or drugs anymore. I also do sports but I should do more.

Smoking is a problem. I actually started smoking more since it broke out because it works as a stress reliever for me.

I might switch to e cigarettes but it does not really work so well.

Hello there,

2,5 months ago I took magic mushrooms. I only took them two times and both times low doses. However the second time was very awful and since then I am feeling anxious, have flashbacks, light hallucinations and well I feel "different".

Doctors gave me promethazine and melperone, but I only took promethazine out of those two. The last time I took promethazine I think it just made it worse. I am not sure if I should take melperone, the things I read about it don't sound so great.

I am having these problems only for 2,5 months but it is horrible and I had suicidal thoughts a couple of times. So I don't think I can manage this without meds. But doctors just say that I got adjustment disorder, I am not sure if they even know about HPPD. And waiting for an appointment with a new doctor can take months here.

So I don't really know what to do, I might get hands on some diazepam but of course I would not take it regularly.

Well until then I just try to take it as easy as possible.