hippoppd

Oh man, I'm sorry to hear all this happened to you. It might be hard for you now, but at some point you will be grateful you made it through all of this. Hanging yourself is no way to go out. Yes, MDMA is some nasty business. It really rocks your brain. I was completely out of sorts for 9 months after trying MDMA and probably still not 100 % recovered from that time even now 4 years + after. So I can relate somewhat to what you are describing. Most of what it does, I believe, is due to anxiety and depression stemming from MDMAs effect on your neurotransmitter balance and receptor densities. This will all heal up given sufficient time. What is important meanwhile is not to be overtaken by anxiety. When anxiety runs your life, you will be creating panic, despair and destructive ways of thinking which just makes things worse. The way out of this mess comes through patience and trust in the recovery process. You seem to be taking some positive steps concerning your health. If you can keep that up, all through the dips and hardship, you will eventually come out on the other side. My best practical advice is taking good care of sleep, diet, exercise, social activites and spending time outside. I want to tell you this directly because you were close to death and have been given a second chance: I believe in prayer and the fact that God hears each and every of our prayers and wants us to involve in a loving relationship with Him. I have experienced and keep experiencing that when I lay my life down into the hands of God, He cares for me and leads me to recovery. I believe the same goes for every person. My advice for you is to open up your heart to Him and say a prayer unto Him. Give Him a chance and wait for Him to start working wonders in your life. All the best.

Hello and welcome. First of all need to stop smoking weed immediately! With the signs you are showing you need to take this very seriously. This can't be stressed enough. Don't fool yourself into thinking you can keep it up. Secondly, stop experimenting with psychedelics. The 25x series is particularly bad, but so is lsd, mushrooms and mdma. In the end these compounds take you nowhere you can't go without in your spiritual life. On contrary psychedelics can be delusional and cause great physical and mental trauma. There is no such thing as that great psychedelic experience that suddenly changes your life to something awesome, so please try to just let go of it and move on with your life. Now, you're young and your symptoms don't sound too harsh. Your brain is still developing and you have a great chance of recovery. But its time for you to start taking your life seriously. Listen to the people on here and take their advice.

Cocaine is, due to its pronounced excitatory effect on the central nervous system, one of the worst drugs to use if suffering from hppd. Please stay away!

Doesn't immediately sound like hppd to me, though I'm no expert. Did you use any other drugs in the period preceding these symptoms? Have you previously struggled with anxiety? Did something happen in your life recently or during your LSD trip that could trigger anxiety? From your symptoms anxiety sounds like it could be an important factor here.

Yeah, I'll keep at it and let you know how goes. Thanks again for the support <3 Edit: Yes, well honestly the visuals don't bother me much actually. The anxiety, stress and concentration issues is what makes my life difficult at the moment.

So I visited my doc yesterday and told her about my LSD use and my hppd symptoms. While she was supportive and understanding, she didn't have much to offer in terms of solutions. The doctor figured some of my symptoms, like the stess response, were related to anxiety. I was prescribed propranolol (a beta blocker) to ease the symptoms of heightened cortisol levels. I tried this medication yesterday and it seems to relieve the symptoms somewhat, without making the anxiety or hope diminish. Jay, have you had experience with beta blockers for your symptoms? Is this a common treatment for hppd sufferers? Otherwise I was told to try not focusing excessively on the symptoms. I suggested contacting a neurologist, but the doctor didn't think the common neurologist would have any knowledge about hppd. We agreed for me to see a psychiatrist if there is no improvement over the next month. Not much to add. It seems with hppd there is very little the docs can do and we gotta just deal with it on our own for the most part. In other news I've been working out a lot the last couple of weeks. So far, it seems to help me cope better, although it hasn't lessened my symptoms.

Hello and welcome. I am new here as well. You can read about my history and condition here: http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/4803-short-introduction/#entry29817 Why don't you tell us a little more about your symptoms and your situation?

LSD

That's great man! Sounds to me like you have a really good shot at recovery then. Reason I align my own experience with yours is a) the daily for years weed habit b ) the rapidly improving dp/dr and c) the anxiety/panic attacks. At the time I hadnt yet got into psychedelics. I believe my visual distortions were from the mdma use. I was having trouble with angles and distances, everything a bit wobbly and glowy, but no static, afterimages or cevs. Considering you have been exposed to acid in particular and also shrooms it makes sense that your visual symptoms are more hppd-like. I couldn't say how long your visual symptoms will persist. I am also new to hppd. Maybe someone with more hppd experience can chime in? From what you have written and my own experience I suspect your cannabis abuse and accompanying anxiety have caused the majority of your symptoms, with the mdma and psychedelics pushing it over the top. It's a good thing you came to realise what damage you have done to yourself at this point. I think you are very likely to make a full recovery such that looking back you can consider this a scare. The anxiety may be the part that takes the most time and effort to overcome, but given a healthy social life you have a great chance of beating it.

Sounds tough. Although you seem to be coping well. I have decided to go straight about this with my doc. Will report back what she's got to say about it.

I was like this a few years back after many years of daily weed smoking and a couple if really intense mdma experiences. Intense anxiety and dp/dr with slight spacial distortions. Just like you I was very ill for some months and then gradually recovered from the dp/dr and visual distortions over the following year. You'll be alright, but you HAVE to stay away from all drugs. Weed in particular is the absolute worst for anxiety. Go easy on the caffeine and alcohol as well. Don't ever think that because you recover you can go back to getting high. After recovery I went back to smoking and eventually got into speed, coke and psychedelics. It happens so easily. Now four years on I have a serious case of hppd/anxiety/stress which is likely to take years to recover from. Why don't you tell us a little more about your life? Do you have anyone close to talk to about all of this? What about your family?

That's interesting Jay. I've told people about this feeling, but nobody seems to understand. It's exactly like you describe it, lots and lots of cortisol. Makes my blood pressure rise and my mind get all clouded. Really uncomfortable. How long have you had this? Has it improved for you? Sorry to hear you have these symproms as well, though I'm glad to hear I'm not alone in this. Keith - thanks for sharing. All the best to you. And thanks again Fante for your input and support.

Thank you Fante. Your words are comforting. About acceptance: This is great advice. I'm freaking out about all of this and making it a lot worse. Not knowing when you'll recover or even IF you'll recover is really distressing, and I can't imagine living like this for years and years. I'm making practicing acceptance my first priority, and I can already feel a relief of despair. Improvements within several months you say? I have a hard time believing you, but if so that's just great! A few months is nothing. I guess time will show. I'll keep you updated. I have not yet told my doctor about my drug use and suspected hppd. I have an appointment coming up in a couple of weeks and want to come forward with her. But I'm shit embarressed about the whole ordeal. Besides, what can she do about it anyway? It's not like the doctors have a clue about this stuff around here. They could put me on meds (benzos a good idea?), but what else? Anxiety therapy perhaps? Been trough that already many times. All of this makes me unsure of telling this to my doctor is worthwhile. Am otherwise living clean and eating healthy Will be upping on the exercise. Thanks again for your support.

Hello all. It has dawned on me I have HPPD. At least I think I do. I feel like I am on a low dose LSD constantly. I am really scared. It started in May. I had been doing psychedelics on and off for three years and came out of a 6 month period of more frequent use of LSD and mushrooms. Guess I did about 10 LSD trips and 5 shroom trips in those 6 months leading up. Moderate to high doses (150-300 ug LSD, 2-3 g cubensis), but nothing extreme. At first I was fatigued, nauseuos, weak. A bit of depression and clouded mind. Then I started getting this really awful feeling creeping up in me. I can't describe the feeling other than a feeling of disgust. It seems like some kind of hormonal imbalance as it is usually triggered by stress and usually lasts 1-3 hrs. Has anyone experienced something similar? It is extremely uncomfortable and makes me really scared it won't go away. I was diagnosed with stress, which put me at ease as I was hoping to recover with a bit of rest. However, despite a lot of rest, my condition hasn't improved significantly. I have mild visuals: Glowing colors, snow in the dark, subtle CEVs, pattern morphing. I have the LSD-like headspace, clouded and trouble focusing, mental fatigue. Trying to concentrate on anything for more than a few minuted make my symptoms worse to the point of having to stop. These symptoms got me thinking I am likely to be suffering from HPPD. Sounds reasonable? A bit about me: I'm 28 yrs, male. Student of biochemistry, though unable to study much currently. Long history of drug abuse. Mostly cannabis abuse from age 18-25, then cocaine, MDMA, speed age 23-25, psychedelics from age 24-28. Christian faith. No girlfriend. Living alone currently. Have struggled with depression and anxiety throughout adult life, although the last couple of years have been good. Had a psychotic break back in 2012 after a period of meth abuse. What more to say? Please ask! Just looking for some support really. I feel all broken on the inside and scared I'll be this way for the rest of my life.