Raze

My visuals cant get worse . 

My feeling in stomach in normaly bad 

 

But now i have alot of weed and everyday is going nice now  

Good feeling of weed <3 

Guys , relax , it was an overreaction , just a thought , when i was on coldturkey from quintapine. 

 

Now i have alot of weed , and everyday on weed is a day where i can relax. 

 

 

Ignore my text ,

 

I meant ending my ego , not life  

Yeah well,  My visual snow is extreme , cant even read the text almost , 

And cant sleep to good. 

My thoughts are screaming in my head always 

When peeople talk around me , i hear messed up stuff even though they dont say it so my sound decoding system is messed up to 

And it always hurts my stomach like , low emotions 

Need music on 24/7 to even function. 

psychotic paranoid stuff to  , so 

Cant enjoy time passing,

 

 

Last chance ...  Im going to smoke weed now everyday , and if things dont get better

very soon , its Game over , 

U know any easy methods to end life ?

, im 21 now , had this for 2 years

, gettin worse everyday ,

like im 50 % blind now 

Well , have u heard of anyone who tryed lazer after having hppd , and how many , whats the result? 

Its important to draw conclusions from real data or it it a guess ?

Anyone thought of that one ? 

Cost about   2000 $ 

 

I have bad eye sight anyway so it will fix that

And the visual snow cant get any worse anyway 

 

And if it does i will just end this life anyway. 

 

 

 

 

Im going to start save some cash now and try it

 

 

 

 

Any thoghts? 

Its flashing lights/visual snow at the same time with light sensitivity. i dont believe they read my mind , its just a feeling. 

u get any meds ? 

My vision is exactly like that video, flashing colours 24/7 .. and i hear mumble from ventilations when i  try to sleep.. 

Flashing in the entire field of vision. 

Anxiety so bad that i will probably never be able to work around people.

depression  - sucks to wake up .. unless i have a beer. and be alone all day 

dp/dr - unreal thoughts , paranoid about my messed up thoughts affects others .. when im around people

 

Other than that my psyche is pretty strong. i dont react to my thoughts .. and i have a grouded perspective of my true self 

and self aware. i will consider advices and see what ill do from this point. 

I understand the odds. and yes its a kind of gambling like roulette.

 

What i know is that miracles can be possible in the right circumstances.

 

I will give it a try. and discuss  the effect later this week hopefully.

 

 

 

Meds

 

Alcohol gives almost same effect as benzos for me so i dont see why it would be better to use benzo when its worse addiction pattern .. withdrawal.. 

 

Doctor thinks im psychotic cause i say that it feels like people are affected by my thoughts sometimes.. but thats quantum physics , meta physics and consciousness 

laws of the universe,  Even though i know its just a feeling most of the time. 

 

So he have me risberdal.. and i flush them down the toilet.. 

 

I find these meds interesting 

 

sobril

guys before calling me stupid... when i say the visuals cant get worse >> 

This is my vision when i vlose my eyes and when its open to , only time i doesent notice it is when im at computer / TV ... So now u understand it cant get worse .. 

 

As u know LSD/Schrooms can put u in higher frequency .. Probably a higher dimension, if u see the BIG picture. u know that our thoughts create reality .. so in a higher dimension it would be a chance to Heal it with deep meditation .. cant even meditate now , cause my thoughts are as bad as it get to .. so really it can only get better i think .. 

 

Theres alot of other reasons that connect to these concepts, in a psycological  . neurological . spiritual ,, subjective perspective.

 

That seems to be in a higher complex order of information in a holographic, digital  , paralel universe. , when we step outside the program of duality , white and black point of view,,

 

Even though it can sometimes be a paradox when the pieces of the pussle is not fully organized with perfect ballance. 

 

Im not stupid.. just see possibilities beyond the illusion of ego,

 

 

Thank you for advices,

My Visuals cant get worse , my whole vision is flahsed with violet 24/7 .. and my thoughts are as intense , speeded up as they can be 

 

so i think its a good edea cause it cant get worse ,, a nice trip on lsd or schroms or Mdma crystals , cant get it worse , only if i have a bad trip and then Dpr can get worse but its impossible 

to get a bad trip if im alone in bathtub with sweet music =) 

Has anyone tried take lsd or mushrooms or DMT after u got Hppd to reverse it, ????

 

Beeing alone with perfect set ,,setting  

 

At this point im really up for whatever works.

 

 

 

 

 

Make a drug list and short what u think about its effects ..

 

antipsycotics - NOT worth it 

 

benzo - doctor wont give me cause '' history of druguse ''  

 

Anti dep -  Havent tried 

 

opiates - how to get that .. seems to work for some

 

Weed - Helps in everyway except the visuals which CANT get worse in my case anyway 

so i will grow some plants later

 

Alcohol - Drink about 1-2 beer everyday .. relaxing 

 

 

 

 

so how do you know if its kundalini or hppd?

, cause the symtoms seems to be very similar.

well.. u can get kundalini from some drugs, it opens up third eye and releases the energy from the lower part of spine, and it goes up through all chakras , energy centers up to crown , and thats why u see colours when u close eyes ,, and expanded consciousness..etc

 

so whats the difference in your opinion?

I sleep about 12 - 16 hours a night ,  cause all the speeded horrible thoughts, 

I have researched kundalini and the hppd symtoms seem to be just like kundalini, the visions.. seeing auras, expanded consciousness , hyper sensitivity etc..

Anyone?