discodamage
-
Posts
2 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Downloads
Events
Store
Posts posted by discodamage
-
-
Well it is quite emotional to finally be here. Firstly from the six months after I was spiked with acid without realising (whilst on a concoction of ecstasy, ketamine and weed) until I was told that yes someone had unintentionally spiked you with LSD and a lot of it! I thought I was going insane. The first trip directly afterwards lasted nine hours of pure hell. The next time after that that I did drugs took me straight back for nine hours and I have never recovered fully.
No one understood. I didn't understand myself. I cut out all party drugs which were a big part of my life but only when I realised they were detrimental. I learnt it all on my own. I presumed I was chemically imbalanced. Then after a couple years of trying to cope with the hellish feelings that never went away just slowly slowly slowly faded with time, I self diagnosed post traumatic stress disorder. The dr said anxiety. It slowly faded. I went for a routine filling, and tripped for two days because of the anaesthetic. And now I am scared that I can. Ever have it again. I need more fillings and I want to have children. What the hell am I going to do?
Still it lingers, I can't ever just relax I have to keep my brain busy. If I'm hungover or sleep deprived it rears its ugly head.
Is there hope? I dont want to take medication, I'm so scared
New and relieved... And scared
in Introductions
Posted
Well it is quite emotional to finally be here. Firstly from the six months after I was spiked with acid without realising (whilst on a concoction of ecstasy, ketamine and weed) until I was told that yes someone had unintentionally spiked you with LSD and a lot of it! I thought I was going insane. The first trip directly afterwards lasted nine hours of pure hell. The next time after that that I did drugs took me straight back for nine hours and I have never recovered fully.
No one understood. I didn't understand myself. I cut out all party drugs which were a big part of my life but only when I realised they were detrimental. I learnt it all on my own. I presumed I was chemically imbalanced from the years of clubbing. Then after a couple years of trying to cope with the hellish feelings that never went away just slowly slowly slowly faded with time, I self diagnosed post traumatic stress disorder. The dr said anxiety. It slowly faded. I went for a routine filling, and tripped for two days because of the anaesthetic. And now I am scared that I cant ever have it again. I need more fillings and I want to have children. What the hell am I going to do?
Still it lingers, I can't ever just relax I have to keep my brain busy. If I'm hungover or sleep deprived it rears its ugly head.
Is there hope? I dont want to take medication, I'm so scared Of making it worse. It's been six long years and I am no longer carefree.
Bearing my heart here. It's just the first time I've realised that other People have it too. It's been hard. Big love to you all x