Gabriel S.D

Hello!
I'm making this post mainly because I want to help people who just found out they have HPPD and are struggling to find hope, mainly because most people who recover don't remeber to come back to say so (like i did haha)
But yeah here we go:
I did mushrooms for the first and only time 5 years ago, when I was 16. I had never used any other drug besides weed twice. The trip was awesome, one of the best days of my life, but things started getting strange 4 days after that, when I started feeling extremely sad and depressed for no reason. Then in the next day, a strong head tingling came along with some tinnitus, photosensitivity, after images, visual snow and an extreme anxiety and panic which I have never felt in my life. Those were so strong that I couldn't concentrate in anything and I all did for two weeks was laying on the bed horrified of what the heck was happening and researching about it (when I found out about HPPD). In the thrid week, the head tingling and anxiety started going away, but on the other hand I started getting some DPDR and more intense visual snow, and the first month was basically it. 
Then, I wasn't thinking I could ever go back to normal and I just stood 100% sober, tried to stay as healthy as I could and things did not get better, but I kept doing it anyway. Three months after the beggining of the symptoms, they started diminishing to the point I could make through some days without thinking about them, and 4-5 months after I got it I still had the symptoms, less intense, and I was already living my life totally ignoring it, and they were still there but not affecting me at all. 
It is hard to tell when exactly the symptoms went away 100%, probably between 7-8 months after I got them, but it was so gradual that I wasn't paying attention to them anymore.
But basically that's it, I was talking to some friends some days ago about drugs and I remembered about when I had HPPD and how this forum helped me to feel better in a way that I was not the only one suffering from this condition, and I really hope you all can get through it. And also, I know that my case was absolutely not a severe case, more like a mid case, but I think a really important step in my journey was to stop waiting for the symptoms to go away and try to accept them and keep living my life. It is not always possible, but if it is for you, its worth it trying.
So yeah, just wanted to share my story and that it's totally possible to recover.

Hi Johan. I'm sorry for your peak, but nice that you can deal with it better now. I hope this peak ends asap!

I'm getting a bit better now, thanks :). I haven't noticed any changes in my symptons related to exercising. I think the atmospheric pressure make some changes in the symptons (less pressure = symptons worse) but I don't know if this was just a coincidence.

Hi, I have this symptom too. I'ts like the classic "4k" vision. For me this is also related to the disconnected feeling (that's like my brain having more difficult to map 3d spaces and to process the vision).

I think it's better to tell the doctor. Probably he won't even know what hppd is, but at least give it a try.

And tell here if you have any improvments with some medication, that would be really helpful beacause as I can see u are the only one with the exact same symptom as me

Btw just a question, did u got your hppd from mushrooms too? (and if u did, how much it was?) thanks!

On 8/6/2018 at 7:44 PM, jbalsa2 said:

I didn't have ant bad trips either. My LSD trip that led up to my hppd was a great one, it was just when I woke up the next morning that I realized I had developed hppd. Although bad trips and trauma may play into it a little; I don't think having a bad trip is a solid prerequisite for developing hppd.

Benzos are bad because the moment you get used to them, or even start to enjoy the feeling of being on them, it'll make it really difficult to cope without having them. And as just about anyone on this forum will tell you, it only makes things worse in the long run. I have had several run ins with benzo use over the past couple of years, and am finally happy to say I have ceased using them - except for the odd time every month or two.

I have not tried acupuncture, but my best guess is that perhaps it can provide some external relief to physical symptoms that you are experiencing - where as hppd is a neurological disorder. So its doubtful it will do much to help your mental side effects.

Find what works for you

I thought bad trips was kinda necessary because most posts I read they say they had a bad trip. And I didn't know about this dark side of the benzos, thanks for sharing haha!

9 minutes ago, jbalsa2 said:

Remember - if you do decide on medication - don't let a psychiatrist push antipsychotics on you, they don't actually do anything to help cure your hppd. The only two medications I would recommend that you try (If, of course you do try anything) are keppra and lamotrigine.

Don't use benzos unless your use of them is super intermittent - ie; once, twice a week.

 

I like to look at it like this; remember when you were tripping, and at some points in the trip you felt like it would never end? And then of course - several hours later, you finally moved into a different state of the trip, and then several hours after that you finally felt 'normal' again?

I look at hppd as much like the same thing. You think it will never end, but the more you think about the fact that its still there the more you will get sucked into that panicked mind state. It takes time to progress, but it does progress, in the same way that your trip progressed while you were tripping.

The nice thing about meds such as lamotrigine or keppra, in my experience so far, is that they can help your mind state along the way - allowing you to think about other things and not get so distracted by your hppd, which i believe accomplishes two things. One, distracting you from your hppd which eases the process of passing time, and two; by helping your brain to become neurologically distracted from your hppd; which I believe may aid some of your neurology to recover better on its own naturally, by aiding the process of neuroplasticity in the sense that you are actually causing 'less' of your brain to have hppd. If that makes sense.

Good luck!

Hmm interesting this comparision. But something kinda interesting is that I didn't have a 100% bad trip. In the first half of the trip I was with a malaise and belly ache (the bad part), but after a couple of hours it went away and the trip started to be fun. But after some days I started to feel really strange and then I figured out what it was.

And why are benzos bad? Because some people say it's helpful to momentarily relieve the simptons.

And one more thing, have you ever tried acupuncture? I read that it helps epilepsy patients, maybe it can be also helpful for hppders?

15 hours ago, jbalsa2 said:

Hmm. Interesting. I've had mine for 2 years now. LSD induced. 

I did LSD numerous times prior to developing full on hppd, and also continued poly-drug use well into my hppd.

Although I've quit nearly all drug use completely.

My advice to you - hppd induced by a single trip of shrooms shouldn't be too bad to kick. I would recommend keppra as it reduces symptoms of depersonalization and some visuals, but im hesitant to recommend it as im not sure what the differences are between LSD induced hppd and psilocybin induced hppd. Give it a year or two. And if by that point you still have hppd, perhaps give keppra a try. I can't see it hurting in too many ways. 

Yeah, I think I gonna wait a bit more to take medications, because maybe it causes side effects. But this keppra seems interesting, I'll consider taking this one in the future m8. Thanks!

18 minutes ago, jbalsa2 said:

To you as well.

If you don't mind my asking, Gabriel, how long have you had your hppd? Is it LSD induced?

Thanks! Actually I just have it for 2 months. And it's from mushrooms (just one trip, 2g).

On 8/3/2018 at 10:17 PM, jbalsa2 said:

Hey Gabriel. Much better than I was a year ago. Actually a couple of months ago I started taking brand name Keppra, improvement is marked and cumulative. Schizzoaffective symptoms I was talking about a year ago now are pretty much completely gone. My visuals are improving, and I don't really have much to say about DP/DR anymore.

 

I can't imagine my hppd having really any noticeable effects on my a year or two from now, if only mild visual snow.

Thanks for responding! Wow so you are really next to the recover haha

This really gives me hope

Good luck bro!

@jbalsa2

Hey, how r u doing now? Did u get better?

I will definitely watch it! 

Thanks for sharing!

I didn't know there's types of hppd.. What's the difference between them?

Thanks for the replies! It's really strange because I don't use any meds, coffe or drugs. I'm starting thinking this happened because of the food I've been eating these last days (yesterday for example I ate a lot of pizza, a bad idea I guess). I'll try to cut heavy carbs and see what happens (a semi keto diet). In a few days I tell if there's any noticeable improvment. Peace!

I have HPPD for like 1.5 months right now. This week my snow, static vision and also tinnitus got a bit worse. At first the only way I could see snow was looking to the sky. Now I can see it almost everywhere. What could have been a trigger for it? And how to avoid these relapses? 

Hi, I didn't know adrenaline could be a trigger tho. I'm going to pay more attention how I feel after the gym haha. I don't know if there is any doctor who knows hppd in Brazil, and if there is it must be really expensive haha, so maybe just waiting and beeing healthy can be the solution in this case. I'm taking thiamine because of the depoiments and It's something necessary for brain health, I haven't found any side effects related to it. But of course, if I noticed any side effects I would stop taking it.

And also didn't know u had it for so long (years), nice to see you reached so far.

Anyway thanks for the advices, and update us about your improvements!

Good recorver 4 everyone

On 7/1/2018 at 6:13 AM, Johan0987 said:

Hi Gabriel,

Thanks for the response. I don’t think i can call it recovering because the symptoms are still quite severe (they have lessened a bit but there are triggers that can make it wore again). On the other hand, the way i’m dealing with it is a lot better. Of course, i’m hoping the symptoms wil subside over the years, because thats what happens to a lot of people with HPPD (of course, everyone and every case is different).

How severe is your HPPD? The best tips i can give you:

- go to a doctor/psychiatrist who is familiar with HPPD. They can help you to get better. What country are you from? Maybe i can help you to get in touch with a good doc.

- stop doing all kinds of drugs, including cafeïne, nicotine and all other substances. Even substances that raise serotoinin levels are a trigger.

- start living as healty as possible. Exersise, healthy food, a good sleep pattern, do lots of social stuff and things you like to do. The more you keep yourself busy, the less you think about it.

- this can be a hard one: try to live your life as normal as possible, as like you don’t have HPPD at all. Yesterday i went to a festival for the first time in a long time. I was quite anxious before, and when we were there i felt a bit “uncomfortable” in the beginning (maybe that was a bit of DR). But the longer i was there, the more i started enjoying myself and the more i felt “normal”. The more you challenge yourself with these kind of situations, the easier it gets over time.

- start figuring out what makes you feel better and what doesn’t. This helped me quite a lot to find a good week schedule that works for me right now, i have a good balance between work, socialising/hobby’s and rest.

- the last and maybe the best to remember: HPPD can be a very hard disorder to deal with, but it gets better with almost everyone. You get used to the symptoms and deal with it, or in the best case, you will recover quite good. I remember myself often when i’m feeling down, that there are a lot of people with a lot worse (mental)health conditions than mine, and they can deal with it as well.

If you ever need advice or someone to talk to, send me a PM. We’ve also created a FB group for dutch people with HPPD where we share info and support each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/HPPDNederland

I hope this will help you even further.

Hi Johan, sorry for late reply haha 

Actually my hppd isn't that bad, it's most noticeable when I have to sleep for example, the simptoms gets more appearent (mainly the tinnitus) or when I'm in bright places and snow visual gets more intense, including photofobia and afterimages. There's also some strange symptons that appears suddenly sometimes. But the good part is that most of the symptoms already disappeared (like head tingling and DR).
I think I'm eating healthier than before the hppd, there's a lot of foods that are triggers like gluten, nightshades, heavy carbs. The part of drugs, yeah, I think I'll never use any drugs again (just medicines). I used to drink coffe twice a week but I stopped when hppd came.

And bro I've some questions, do you take thiamine? I saw some people telling it helps a lot, I started taking it Friday, I'll see the results. What are your main triggers? Do you make any special diet (like keto diet)?

Anyway, thank you so much for all tips! (sorry 4 bad english haha)

Hey Johan, nice to know you are recovering. I just read this discussion and I found some really useful tips. I got hppd a short time ago, and this is definitely going to help. 

Hope all you get better! 

Thank you so much, these tips are going to be helpful!

Hey!

I'm not experient but I'll tell some stuff that I read on this site. As I could see caffeine, gluten and glutamate can make your symphtons worse by locking your neuroreceptors or something like this. There's a relate too that says that headaches medicines are not very good. And thiamine seems like one of the most helpful suplements. I personally have a better night when I take some vitamins before sleeping. I'll link the posts that explains this better haha