Patthebat88
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Posts posted by Patthebat88
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I'm so glad I read this. I feel exactly the same way. I have head pressure all the time, especially in the middle of the day when I come home from work. I have severe tinnitus and I see after images and trails all day long. My dream job is suppose to start in January but I'm suicidal right now because of this so I think I'm going to have to turn the job offer down. Everyday I feel like I'm being tortured, no one deserves this. The only reason I haven't killed myself is because of my mom. I can't do that to her. It would be like killing her too. I hope one day God will give me answers when I ask him why he did this to me. I hope you feel better soon
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I don't think I don't know honestly
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Yes I worked out and all my symptoms came back
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I cant take these fucking afterimages and trails anymore. Im sorry I cant do it. I fucking dont deserve this. I smoked weed one time in 2008 and had HPPD for about 3 months. Then I was completely normal. I never touched a drug after that. Recently I worked out a little and all the symptoms came back but the visuals are terrible. I see afterimages after 1 second and trails of everything moving. Also floaters and light sensitivity. I have been seeing these for 7 months. I feel fucking hopeless and do not deserve this, smoking weed must have dont something to my nervous system.
I do not want to die but I cant live my life like this. Im sorry. My plan is to get completely over this is to go on a 14 day water fast at a medical facility. Doing this cleans your nervous system as well as your entire body.
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I am actually seeing a neurologist next week. I will post here how it goes. And yes they just create lines-so disturbing
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Also forgot to mention that I have tinnitus that comes and goes. My symptoms in high school were what I am feeling now but it was a little worse then. Thank you for the input. If it is anxiety and depression, why do I think it is HPPD? I definitely have a depression problem but I think that something is wrong with my nervous system which is causing the tingly feeling. I am seeing a neurologists in about a week. I also forgot to say that I am quitting a personal bad habit right now which I think is giving me some anxiety. I was addicted to looking at porn for about a decade and now I don't at all which is making me feel not good. I think that is causing me to have anxiety as well. My brain is rewiring itself without porn. Another symptom I have is when I look at patterns on walls, I see lines that are not there. It is hard to explain, my brain creates lines in an odd way. Anyone else have that? I know they are not actually there.
Thank you for the feedback.
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I strongly advise telling your mom. She is your mom she wants to know how you are feeling and she will always forgive you. I waited so long to tell my mom and it felt really good to get it off my chest.
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Forgot to mention this: I get very bad headaches where it feels like my brain is being pushed against my skull, it feel awful. Those have been getting better from now working out though.
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I hope people take the time to read this and believe what I am saying because everyone I talk to about this problem does not believe me. I am writing this now because I have had suicidal thoughts recently and need to make a change in my life. My suicidal thoughts are pretty bad. I plan on seeing a therapist this week.
When I first started high school in 2008 (9 years ago) I smoked weed once. Just one time. My friends who smoked the same weed were stoners and they recovered the next day like 99% of people do. But I smoked a lot and I had HPPD for about 4 months. I had tingly feeling in my feet and panic attacks everyday. This is when I just started high school where I knew no one and I am a shy introvert. It was absolute hell. I felt alone and scared everyday. But I got through it!!!! And all the symptoms went away like I said in about 4 months. I felt 100% fine. So over a year later I am working out one day and I sit down and my HPPD symptoms came back. ALL of them !!!! But they quickly went away in a few hours. And since then every time I work out (lift weights especially) my HPPD symptoms come back.
Please believe me when I say this!!! My mom does not believe me and no one else does. What the fuck is wrong with me. I smoked weed once and now every time I work out I feel HPPD all over again. I have not heard anyone else have this experience before and I have obviously done a lot of research into this.
Okay so I lived with the fact that I cant work out for years. I just quit working out-whatever I felt 100% fine just kinda pissed that I could not do it. But this past December I was very upset over things in my life.(Could not get a good job, girl I like a lot has a boyfriend, feel like I have zero friends, lonely) I was so mad that I just started working out. I would wake up and work out and work out some more. I knew that HPPD could come back but I was so sad and wanted my depressed feelings to go away. So now My life is terrible. It is June now and I have not worked out like that for 6 months. But Since that time I have extremly bad visual symptoms of HPPD. They include:
-afterimages (These are the worst, get them after looking at something for a second.)
-trails, I can see trail when things are moving. For example, if I move my hand across my face.
-anixiety, can feel my heart beating at times, feel like I have no personality, feel alone and depressed
-tingily feeling in my feet (This feeling gets worse if I work out at all) I love to run but I cant now, makes it worse
-floaters all the time, especially outside.
-vision makes a huge adjustment from going to light to dark places
I seriously can not even go on a 15 minute run right now? If I do , my feet become tingily. What the fuck is wrong with me? No one else with hppd from what I have read has this? I smoked weed once and now I can not work out for the rest of life? What the fuck? This has caused me to have a terrible relationship with GOD. Why would he put this on this earth for me to use? Why would he make me this way? I love working out and want to have a great body but I cant because I smoked weed one. I want a six pack. I am a motivated and focused person. How does this happen when I smoke weed once. I can understand if you take LSD a ton of times, maybe this would happen.
One thing that i keep thinking about is the time before I smoked weed once (in 2008) I want to go back to that time and not smoke obviously. I think about that sometimes, makes me feel very regretful. How do i deserve this? I literally smoked weed one time and this is my life. These visual problems are ruining my life. I accepted a job that begins in January and I am considering turning it down now because the job will require me to work 60 hours a week staring at a computer. This a dream job at one of the best companies in the USA to work for. I worked my ass off in college (Magna Cum Laude, graduated in top 15% of my class, made dean or presidents list every semester) And now I get this dream offer and I am afraid to take it because of anxiety I have from HPPD? From smoking weed one fucking time? God What do you want from me? I feel so sad and upset all the time because I have this disorder. I feel so alone. I wish I had cancer instead of this, that would be a piece of cake to deal with compared to this. No one I know can fucking relate to how I feel. That is why I am thinking about suicide.
I know that neither of my parents had this disorder or my sister. They have all done drugs and been fine. I must say though that depression runs in my family. My dad has tried to commit suicide multiple times and so have my cousin and uncle. I just found out this information recently.
I have seen that fasting can have some affect on the disorder. I have been considering fasting for a couple weeks to see what it does but I have a full time job now, no way I can function without eating food for days on end. I dont know what to do?? Can someone please help me, Make me feel better? I DONT DESERVE THIS. I literally smoked weed one time. God I feel so alone. Will appreciate any feedback. I hope you guys can believe me.
Want to make this absolutely clear: I have not done any other drugs besides smoking weed once. I dont even drink alcohol now, (not that it makes my hppd worse but it is just not my thing) I have not done acid or shrooms or anything like that. Nothing.
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Stop doing any kind of drug immediately and do not do them again...why the heck would you want to anyway? You will feel normal again, I guarantee it. You only smoked weed. I bet it will go away in a few months.
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Did it go away???
I could really use your help!!
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