Kristina

I got hppd beginning 3 months ago and it's still gradually worsening... so im worried how far it's going to worsen until.

when you got hppd, did all your symptoms appear at once or was it gradually worsening, consistent, and then began getting better?

Hey, my name is Kristina, I'm 19, majoring in IT, a waitress, and I've had HPPD for 3 months now and it continues to worsen each day- dispute my abstinence from all drugs including caffeine and alcohol. I never really liked drugs. I tried weed on several occasions but only did it for social reasons. I always had this mindset to try everything once, drugs were one of them. (Drug history: weed, 1 molly, and 1 really weak lsd that was probably fake..literally didn't do anything) On April 24, 2015 my friends and I decided to go to a rave. That is where I used molly once (200mg- I don't know if it was pure or not), had my first panic/anxiety attack, and my first onset of the HPPD symptoms which I did not immediately get; it was gradual. First started with blurry vision then light sensitivity and now I experience trailing, ghosting, afterimages, rainbow prisms, blind spots, visual snow, floaters, tinnitus, headaches, flashbacks, variety of cognitive disruptions, lack of motivation/everything seems harder to do, changed sense of reality, and nothing is crisp anymore including noise, vision, touch, taste, and all the other generic stuff. I personally was in love- if not obsessed with my reality and all my friends knew it. I would do anything to get it back. I don't know how research here works, but if anyone can give me any information about being apart of a study to find a treatment for this? I have no will to live because I don't feel completely like who I am right now is truly who I am; I end up feeling like I'm living a lie. And to be frank I tell myself I'm going to suicide when it gets really unbearable. But I feel stuck because I'm Christian and I don't want to go to Hell. Thank you all for taking the time to read this. And if any of you have a Tumblr please link below so I can follow. I'm always checking the HPPD tag to keep up with others who live with the same symptoms. @jewmew. 

I'll add some lighthearted things: I prefer dogs over cats, love singing, love nature, I'm known for my energy, makeup, and hilarious snapstories hehe. I've started an elephant collection, I think I'm a problem solver and extremely innovative. Right now my favorite thing to do is praise God haha. And watching tv..; anything that is happening in real time like the radio and such. Hillsong never fails me. That's all!

Anyone around the Washington DC/Maryland/Northern Virginia area? Preferably more toward Virginia.