hppdvs

Hey brother I have some good news and some bad news.

The good news is that you don't have hppd. The bad news is you more than likely have anxiety and this is a total other beast.

Ive been through anxiety and know a whole bunch of people who have your exact same symptoms and haven't touched drugs. I myself only smoked pot and.got wasted and after a wicked panic attack, bfep, visual snow, trails, halo, bad derealization, depersonalization, all hit me about 1 month after.

It's usual normal phenomenon that our brain filters out but because your so anxieted out you think it's Mich worse when in reality its not that bad.

Ask your college buddies like I did if they can see halos and aurus on lamps at night time or during the day, 80% of my buddies said yea I see it soooo what. Same with visual snow, ask if they see like colored static at nighttime, I even know a few who experienced bfep since little.

You'll be alright for the time being if it gets out of hand take a new.age ssri, lexapro helps out a lot and see if you can break the cycle of anxiety. Don't rely to much on.the ssri but teach yourself to chill when on.it and get off because that shits bad in the long run. If your thinking about taking.benzos, don't or if.you do don't take more than one every 4/5 days.

Cheers boss, let me know if I could help in.any other way

Thanks for the input! 

What your saying does seem relate exactly to what I have got going on. I have always considered the thought of what if I was simply attributing something to the drugs that could just be a more natural effect, or maybe a small combination of both. 

A question I'd have for you is how long did you go through all of your symptoms after the one panic attack? & how did that experience compare to other people you knew? Mine all started after on hardcore panic attack as well, and then I believe my drug use after that might have only worsened my anxiety then worsening the symptoms. Breaking the cycle of anxiety seems to be my issue at this point. Of course all my symptoms can really trigger my anxiety, and visa versa I guess. 

Asking around to my friend might be a good Idea, to be honest those I just don't want it to be to put out there what I got goin on with myself. 

My biggest concern is that this could be something else life threatening. Which I guess is also another typical sign of Anxiety. 

I also believe that the anxiety could be my biggest issue here. 

I find it weird that I never took LSD, and experienced such a late on set of my symptoms after only mdma use. 

I haven't really been able to find a similar story on the boards? Although I do understand that HPPD seems to vary a lot. 

Thanks! I can see how that'd make any regular a little upset. 

Your right, my bad. Especially when you put it like that I feel kinda dumb. 

Really new to the sight obviously, just trying to get answers. 

Is there a way to remove topics, or does it have to get deleted by an Admin? 

I described it up top a bit, but I feel as if this forum gets more traffic? 

My other post here got deleted I believe, probably cause it was a repost, but I'd wanted this topic in here and have been trying to remove the other one but can't figure it out.

I'm really concerned with my symptoms, like most people with HPPD, and just wanted advice with my specific situation. 

I had posted this is the symptoms forum, but I feel as if this board gets more traffic? I'd really like some perspective, so thanks for you time!

SELF DIAGNOSED

I am posting this tonight after a long time of having HPPD, to compare my symptoms to everyone elses, and most importantly be convinced that my symptoms are just symptoms.

Like most people with HPPD the anxiety of thinking it is something else can kill, and I am hoping to get some perspective on this here from other people with HPPD. 

I have read through the forums many times, and have seen my symptoms many times, but I guess something about me posting it gives me some sort of peace of mind?

You input it greatly appreciated! 

I am a 20 year old, college student.

Healthy & Athletic (All my life)

HPPD 2 Years

Symptoms: 

(100% of the time symptoms increase with anxiety)

-Blue Field Entopic Phenomena (White blood cells visible against blue sky)

-Visual Snow 

-Trails on lights in dark. Especially RED

-Random lines at night

-Scintillating multi colored patterns in white walls in certain lighting (like a line of tie die through my vision that kinda morphs around)

-Outlines, "Auras" around people/objects against light backgrounds (re appeared after further drug use, disappeared for a while)

-VERY slight Depersonalization, derealization. (rarely)

-Anxiety

-Panic Attacks (Rare)

-Slight after images. Pressing on my eye, stare at the tv screen, etc. (Can get images out of them if i'm super anxious, very rare though) 

Drugs taken:

Ecstasy, Adderral, Weed

-Ecstasy:

 Timing: Ecstasy at 16. 3 month period (often) until bad trip. 1 year & half later BOOM HPPD Symptoms. (VERY late onset)

 Started again (foolishly) A year ago, dosed pretty heavy every once in a while (monthly), quit about 3months ago after anxiety killed me (&truthfully want to change my life)

-Adderral:

 Once RIGHT before my first HPPD symptoms occurred. Had first Panic Attack, started noting HPPD symptoms shortly after.

-Weed:

 Periodically since I was 15. Never been a big fan due to it generally caused me anxiety.

Medical History: (I've never mentioned the drugs)

-Struggled with anxiety & migraines as a young kid. Disappeared until it resurfaced with HPPD (Not migraines just anxiety) 

-Neurologist (I described most the symptoms) Dismissed it as something he didn't see as worrying 

-Optometrist (Diagnosed with astigmatism)

-Ophthalmologist (Assured me nothing wrong with eyes)

I have NEVER taken LSD/ACID

& maybe this has a correlation as to why my symptoms are not as bad as other people having hppd?

I'd say compared to some things I have read on this board, my symptoms are definitely lighter than others. 

??????

Does this sound like a typical case of HPPD and nothing else?

I really wonder sometimes if there could be something else wrong with me. I've never had a brain scan or mri but is it really necessary?

What else could it all be? 

Thanks!

Odyssues:

The same thought has definitely occurred to me many times, and makes me feel pretty dumb for ever doing them again. Hopefully we are both right tho...

24 Years:

Definitely not on my to-do list, best of luck to you too!

In retrospect I might have posted in the wrong topic section? but it is very similar anyways. 

I am new to the forum, and have been browsing for probably about 2 years. 

After a couple of set backs I am trying to get my life on track, and seeking out HPPD'rs perspective. 

My thread is posted under the symptoms topic, and I'd really appreciate your responses on there.

This board has been much help to me over the years, and to finally post on it is a big step. 

Thanks!

Thread: 

http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/3501-is-it-just-hppd-want-hppdrs-perspective/

SELF DIAGNOSED

I am posting this tonight after a long time of having HPPD, to compare my symptoms to everyone elses, and most importantly be convinced that my symptoms are just symptoms.

Like most people with HPPD the anxiety of thinking it is something else can kill, and I am hoping to get some perspective on this here from other people with HPPD. 

I have read through the forums many times, and have seen my symptoms many times, but I guess something about me posting it gives me some sort of peace of mind?

You input it greatly appreciated! 

I am a 20 year old, college student.

Healthy & Athletic (All my life)

HPPD 2 Years

Symptoms: 

(100% of the time symptoms increase with anxiety)

-Blue Field Entopic Phenomena (White blood cells visible against blue sky)

-Visual Snow 

-Trails on lights in dark. Especially RED

-Random lines at night

-Scintillating multi colored patterns in white walls in certain lighting (like a line of tie die through my vision that kinda morphs around)

-Outlines, "Auras" around people/objects against light backgrounds (re appeared after further drug use, disappeared for a while)

-VERY slight Depersonalization, derealization. (rarely)

-Anxiety

-Panic Attacks (Rare)

-Slight after images. Pressing on my eye, stare at the tv screen, etc. (Can get images out of them if i'm super anxious, very rare though) 

Drugs taken:

Ecstasy, Adderral, Weed

-Ecstasy:

 Timing: Ecstasy at 16. 3 month period (often) until bad trip. 1 year & half later BOOM HPPD Symptoms. (VERY late onset)

 Started again (foolishly) A year ago, dosed pretty heavy every once in a while (monthly), quit about 3months ago after anxiety killed me (&truthfully want to change my life)

-Adderral:

 Once RIGHT before my first HPPD symptoms occurred. Had first Panic Attack, started noting HPPD symptoms shortly after.

-Weed:

 Periodically since I was 15. Never been a big fan due to it generally caused me anxiety.

Medical History: (I've never mentioned the drugs)

-Struggled with anxiety & migraines as a young kid. Disappeared until it resurfaced with HPPD (Not migraines just anxiety) 

-Neurologist (I described most the symptoms) Dismissed it as something he didn't see as worrying 

-Optometrist (Diagnosed with astigmatism)

-Ophthalmologist (Assured me nothing wrong with eyes)

I have NEVER taken LSD/ACID

& maybe this has a correlation as to why my symptoms are not as bad as other people having hppd?

I'd say compared to some things I have read on this board, my symptoms are definitely lighter than others. 

??????

Does this sound like a typical case of HPPD and nothing else?

I really wonder sometimes if there could be something else wrong with me. I've never had a brain scan or mri but is it really necessary?

What else could it all be? 

Thanks!