Arbiter

Yeah that's what I mean

What is this called does anyone know I have read about it like a year ago it has a name

Yeah, I have been snorting Ritalin a few months ago. It did make my symptoms worse and I was starting to get to the stage where I was almost fully recovered but Ritalin worse my visions again.

BTW I'm more talking about have you tried Ritalin or another ADD drug before you got HPPD from another substance. I'm not doctor but I think these types of meds play apart in triggering HPPD

At one point when I was naively downplaying the role drugs might've had in my ever-worsening state of mental illness, I self-diagnosed with inattentive-ADHD (great idea, I know) and tried out some Ritalin a friend gave to me for a couple of months - 5mg, twice a day. My HPPD did get significantly worse around that time or shortly after but I'm pretty hazy as to what other stuff I was using so I'm not sure if the Ritalin played much of a role. It definitely didn't help me all that much though, and I wish I'd stayed away from it :s

The topic about RItalin as been posted twice on other website and articles such as in this article http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/elements/2013/05/a-trip-that-lasts-forever.html it states 'According to some scientists, most psychoactive drugs, including psychiatric medications, can alter the brain’s neural structure'

And

http://amrglobal.powweb.com/hallucinogen-persisting-perception-disorder in the comments section on August 13th, 2009 asking Dr Arbraham whether he thinks Ritalin is the 'Gateway Drug' to HPPD 

1)17

2) Ritalin, Dexamphetamine, Cannabis

3) Cannabis

4) Depression

I'm not questioning your experience, but it sounds really strange. I understand that your brief moment without the symptoms must have given you much hope. My symptoms have been constant 24/7 since I got them. I used to pray a lot in the beginning as well, but living with HPPD have destroyed all the faith I once had.

HPPD destroyed my faith too :/

LOL'D

Hey, a fellow Aussie! Though we're about as far away from one another as Aussies get . I'm glad to see you posting more around here, even if it's not great news. I thought I recalled you posting in my thread but I can't see anything at the moment so maybe it's the ol' HPPD-brain playing tricks.

 

I knew HPPD was a thing but wasn't aware of just how bad it could get. It took a good ~8 months since first developing visual symptoms for it to click that a lot of the shit I was going through was likely HPPD-related and drug use had made it much worse, and that the joy I was looking for and afraid of missing out on through abstinence wasn't anywhere near worth the suffering I had been through or the potential prolonging and worsening of that suffering. And even since I've used weed a few times.

 

Just be glad you caught it at all and glad you're making steps to deal with it, I'd say. Past actions suck dick but losing your future to regret sucks even more. Keep moving forward, it's hard but it's the best way to recover.

Thanks man. It's good to know that there are other Aussies just like me out there too.

But I was an idiot I was taking anything that would relieve the anxiety the HPPD was causing me. But, I agree bro, the past is the past and you can't change it. 

For me it took 2 years of making my HPPD worse and worse. I was too stupid to figure out there was something wrong with me and I would have probably fully recovered if I wasn't so ignorant still taking drugs after getting this horrid disorder.

It always could be better he ;D.....But a great proof for yourself that you can handle it, i also did that....

 

A quite hard question as i take almost everyday different stuff.....

 

Everything started with A-PvP, wich fucks your peripheric hard, it took me around 2 weeks to get to my basic HPPD back after a 4 Day consume....After that period i thought to get a familiar drug that i can easily handle so i started taking DXM after the work for around 2 weeks.

 

Shortly after that i took the decision to stop my job and go to university....It´s great and nothing i regret, but theres one Problem: I had 2 Months left untill class started, my Sallary is being paid that months too so no needs to work....

 

From there taking drugs was my hobby....its not the need for a drug, its the new expirience i achive with every new drug i test.....not insights, just the dif0ferent feeling.....but the most important: it showed me that i can handle the bodyloads. (Maybe you remember i had bad expiriences with 2-CB wich lead me not to take 5HT2a docking Drugs)

 

till there i concentrated on bodyloads, but after seeing how good my state was i wanted to solve a problem with myself:

 

I had 100+ Trips, I live with LSD-HPPD but im afraid of taking LSD again....am i afraid of myself?

I always was scared while coming ups on Visual Drugs, because of scare to increase my HPPD.

 

So i started to prepare myself for taking LSD again and clearing that problem.

 

I started with a high dose of shrooms to be sure that trailing and strong coloured visuals dont make me instable, 3 days later i took 4 Seeds of Hawaian Woodrose to get near to the Brainfuck of LSD, then i took 8 Seeds to proof recoveration after consume and it worked so:

 

2 Days after the 8 Seeds i took LSD again, you can´t imagine what you feel and think about when you do that step.

Im really really happy that i did it.

Everything went fine, i accepted the HPPD so i accepted myself i finally can say that im completely happy with myself, my decisions (As you learn alot from HPPD about your Life) and everything else

 

I just learned to love my Life again, i always thought that my life is completely at the bottom and it will never get better again because of HPPD, but then i thought: Who id be without HPPD?.......I learned alot about myself because of HPPD, id never expierenced that without HPPD.....I would had missed alot of lessons...So i learned more about my life then ever before. Thanks HPPD, thanks God for letting me learn that lesson.

 

Since that day i never again worryed even a second on trips....never again

Yesterday i tested 5-Meo-Mipt in a double dose and had optics like never before, i grabbedf the bike of a friend while riding stkateboard, the street shined neon yellow and we went so fast, really nice :D

 

Finally thats the end hahaha, i still take drugs, im happy as fuck, study goes well so lets see what will come in future :D

That's crazy and inspiring.

My trip was fucked up too. First I saw myself die from above, then it felt like I was falling all the time and I got tortured by the devil thinking it was going to last in eternity. Was unconscious on the floor during this.

That sounds crazy man. I feel for you man 

yeah i don't believe i could have been just weed but im not sure because it was my first time smoking it and when i smoked weed the second time with a completely different person a year later it had the same effect so must of have been weed? this was when i was unaware of what HPPD was and kept making it worse and worse

Am I the only one?

Why did I experience trips like you get off LSD and DMT from normal cannabis?!

my trip was ineffable, I can not explain it man. there was these tentacles on the side of my face and when i would open and close my eyes they would move deeper into my face and vision. I also saw this lion king looking face in the middle of my face and it was trying to talk to me. About every 4 seconds I could think clearly but then i couldn't think again so i would keep going in and out of consciousness. It felt like my brain was being refreshed every 5 seconds. 

Explain your experience and reaction when you first got the disorder.

i have this not that bad anymore though  

DUDE it feels like a wrote this. It's like everything that happened with you happened with me!