The Insomniac

Hey,

In response to your message. I have had HPPD since I was 17, Im now 22.

It took about a year and a bit to clear of the symptoms your going through - pretty much exactly.

Im now going through it again, I was really really ill with the flu and it run me down so bad, the anxiety started, which in turn brought the Hppd back on pretty hardcore and the depersonalisation (which seems to be the worst) - i can deal with the tripping.

QUOTE;

-Random disturbing or confusing thoughts pop into my head for example picturing in my head my throat being sliced or other images of harming myself or being harmed. I have never self mutilated or even considered it which is also one of the reasons why this really troubles me.

- this happend to me first time round. Like really phsycotic shit, of peoples faces smashing together, blood.

-Id then have wig outs where I couldnt get rid of a certain thought - Id be walking in high heels and i would trip and my ankles would crack open and snap and Id be on the floor completely fucked. Over and over and over again. It all blends with other patterns and images in my head.

Its really disturbing.

-Sometimes while trying to sleep I get extreme depersonalization accompanied by a feeling that I am melting which I experienced while on the trip. I also have distorted perception of the feeling of my body as in my body will feel long and stretched out as if i were made out of putty and pulled across the room.

I get that too. my arms feel like their longer and the floors almost far away, but its not etc.

A really odd string of unexplainable thoughts until I honestly feel like Im going to explode.

Its awefull.

But if it makes you feel any better, Im going through it as well. Im still not in control of the anxiety second time round - its drivin me nuts and its what makes everything a million times worse.

DO NOT GO ON MEDICATION. No sort. it just fucks with your head.

What we have is neuron damage and the brain has a amazing capability of healing. You just gotta get through it (i gotta get through it - again).

The docs just try and chategorize us as skitso but its not the case.

On the plus side, I dont get the images of violence etc anymore. The second time round, its not as bad as the first.

As for sleeping, I have the TV on and I stare at the damn thing until I pass out. Rolling around in bed only makes you wig the hell out.

What works for me is, one day at a time. All you afto do it take it one hour at a time even. It peaks and then it comes down.

Im doing some healing and body massage next week - the lady is amazing and about 5 months ago I had had a bad knee for almost 2 years and since having one seshion of the healing - I havent had a problem with it since.

I emailed her explaining what was going on and she rang me today saying my aura is damaged and anyways....shes going to work on me.

Do you want me to let you know how it goes? maybe we could keep in touch for support.

Ill private message you my details.

We could chat on msn and stuff.

Ok hopefully hear from you soon.

Sara

Holy crap. And I thought I was the only one.

I've had really long strands of unexplainable thoughts...never thought anyone else had experienced it but me.

When I go to sleep, I feel like my arms are vibrating or not where they are, too. I think it's not too rare.

When I try and clear my head, I get semi-coherent half-formed thoughts going through my head. They're usually not very developed, though, and I just forget about them.

Anyone get anything like this? Started around the same time as many of my other symptoms.

Matches up somewhat with restless leg syndrome, but it's mostly the top of my legs / ass cheeks (not too sure of the technical term lol). RLS usually affects the lower legs. Also, RSL is more often present at night, whereas I can wake up and immediately feel these sensations.

It's fairly annoying. I get it daily.

Also get tingling on my nose sometimes.

Perhaps it's some form of neuropathy.

That's just another symptom of Restless legs. Feelings of burning and tingling are rather common in people with RLS.

Hope that helps.

Reminds me of a rare disorder which renders you unable to perceive motion:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akinetopsia

Might be worth a read. Myself, I've never experienced anything like that.

I've been taking Prozac the last few weeks, could that be making my VS worse?

I just finished taking a bunch of speed, too, and I have a bad headache and my VS is incredibly bad. Could amphetamines make it worse, too?