KLONOPIN (CLONAZEPAM) WORSENED MY HPPD - BE VERY CAREFUL

[yarkadin]

This is going to be a no-doubt controversial post but I want to carefully explain what happened...

I've been seeing a weird spike in my HPPD symptoms since around the first days of November.  The days leading up to that I was unusually stressed and feeling unstable psychologically and emotionally.  I was also taking Klonopin since about July - for a total of about 5 months off and on.  I was taking Klonopin about twice a week, 2 days on, 5 days off... and without really strict regularity.  My dosage was small at about .5 mg to 1mg... and I would do this without mind to day of week, although it tended to be on Friday, Saturday or Sunday.  I am now convinced that I have a great sensitivity to Klonopin and even at this low dosage my body was becoming either addicted to it, or was thrown out of balance by my uneven schedule.  Having read about the medication over the weeks I have found that the dosage does not even matter in terms of addiction, duration is more important. IT'S POSSIBLE TO GET ADDICTED TO IT EVEN ON HALF A MILLIGRAM. 

Whatever the case may be - I was feeling especially awful in mid-November, which I think was partly due to some changes it was making in my brain - and I took it four days in a row following that period, 1 mg, .75 mg, .5 mg, .25 mg.  I thought that maybe the Klonopin would reduce my spike in HPPD.  Outside of simply making me "feed good", however, maybe reducing my light sensitivity, the effects were minimal.  Two days passed and I suddenly became extremely agitated and my light sensitivity was through the roof.  This was around Thanksgiving time here in the USA, the worst Thanksgiving I ever experienced in my life.  I had no idea what was happening.  My stomach was also abnormal so I thought it might be food poisoning.  In the days that followed things became worse... to the point where I could not sleep for almost 4 days.  This was pure hell.  I couldn't sit still, I couldn't stand up, for periods of time, I had heart palpitations, I had gastric issues, all of my muscles ached.  Eventually, half alive on the fourth day, I went to urgent care with my mother where they told me that I have all of the classic Benzo withdrawal symptoms (including "Benzo belly") and I need to make a decision about taking Klonopin again (which I was avoiding since then, as I usually do, since as you recall above, I have long taken it 2 days on, 5 days off).  Only after I took the Klonopin again was I able to sleep - indicating that indeed it was the Klonopin that threw me out of balance.

Since then I've taken Klonopin at half a milligram twice - since there was a period again where I was restless.  And now it's been 2 weeks that I have been off of Klonopin (thank God), which I intend to never take again in my life.

Now here is the part that is most concerning: even though it appears as if I am successfully off of Klonopin now after this horrible period of my life, my vision has become worse since when this started, in particular the visual snow has easily become TWICE AS BAD.  I attribute this to the withdrawal/imbalance (my psychiatrist believes it was a chemical imbalance induced by the Klonopin) and I'm now seeing more floaters than before.  My depersonalization has also become worse, which is logical since it always follows, at least for me, visual changes and this is the brain's way of dealing with those changes.  I'm only hoping that I can adjust as I have before, or that like a stalactite forming in a cave, my vision gradually eases to what it was before November 1... but these have been some of the worst days of my life.  Easily.

I'm writing this to warn everyone presently taking Klonopin or Clonazepam with this disorder to be VERY, VERY CAREFUL.  Obviously, I can't replace whatever your doctor says, but my suggestion is that if you take it irregularly - start taking it regularly.  And if you intend to come off the drug - do it VERY, VERY SLOWLY... you should probably do it even slower than is generally recommended even in the Ashton Manual.  This is no joke.  I have talked to another person who has also had his HPPD worsened by Klonopin.  All of the benefits that have come to me this year with this medication have been taken back... with interest.

 

Be very careful, everybody.

Edited December 20, 2024 by yarkadin

[brake]

Wow what a coincidence. I actually had the worst Thanksgiving of my life as well. I ended up vomiting everything right after and just feeling bad overall. Everyone has a different neurochemistry, that's why I take my medications every single day and if I run out it's not that bad although the visuals and light sensitivity do become worse without the meds. I never had any classical withdrawal symptoms though.

[yarkadin]

What do you think brought on your vomiting?  Was it the Keppra or Klonopin, or the combo?  I never had nausea with the dose I was taking, one positive thing.  You gotta look at the positive side and just move on... but what I'm dealing with sucks, to put it lightly. 

[yarkadin]

I want to update everyone on this topic.

For the last few days I have been sleeping MUCH better, and FEELING much better.  Yesterday I almost had NO DEPERSONALIZATION!!!  But I didn't see any changes in my vision including more floaters, visual snow, glare, etc.  Driving at night it felt a bit like being submerged underwater... the lights looked like they were glowing deep underwater.

Incredibly, this morning I AM seeing changes in my vision... increased floaters I haven't seen before are still there, but... extreme glare from the sun bouncing off objects is reduced by maybe 50%.  And enhanced, glowing colors are also reduced by 50%.  I can't believe it... I was so excited and curious I dressed up early morning (something I never do these days) to walk around the neighborhood.  I just came back from a 30 minute walk where I can confirm that my vision (light sensitivity in particular) has improved by maybe 50%... maybe after-images, too.  I still see what I guess are called "starbursts", which I didn't see before Nov 1, but they are much smaller.  I should be careful to get so excited since I know from all of my years with this that some days are better, some days are worse.  It could be a combination of good sleep for several days in a row and good weather for several days in a row.  Nonetheless, this gives me some hope!

This forum tends to be full of doom and gloom.  After 20 days without Klonopin, almost 3 weeks from my last dose, I want to let everyone know I AM improving.  It's possible that spikes are NOT permanent, or things CAN cool down.

I'm going to the ophthalmologist tomorrow again to check about my increased floaters since the withdrawal/imbalance and see if anything else is wrong.  I'm a bit nervous about it, especially the high intensity light in the eye, but it should be good to reassure myself that nothing else is wrong.

All the best to everyone during these holidays.

Edited December 26, 2024 by yarkadin

[brake]

On 12/21/2024 at 5:16 PM, yarkadin said:

What do you think brought on your vomiting?  Was it the Keppra or Klonopin, or the combo?  I never had nausea with the dose I was taking, one positive thing.  You gotta look at the positive side and just move on... but what I'm dealing with sucks, to put it lightly. 

I'm not sure. Maybe the drinking and the food. I didn't drink a lot though. I wasn't like drunk but anti-epileptics make you much more sensitive to alcohol. The food wasn't all that great either.

Edited December 26, 2024 by brake