Zoopsia Hellucinations Associated with HPPD 2

[Spartan]

As far as I am aware in pub med studies outlining hppd 2 symptoms. One hallucinatory symptoms has the name of zoopsia. 

I am coming to understand more about this particular acute symptom and the various names and ways it can manifest  in hppd 2. 

For example:

Some types of Zoopsia are 

Athropo-zoopsia: Seeing human-like figures or people that aren't actually present.

Thero-zoopsia: Seeing animal-like creatures or shapes.

Phyto-zoopsia Seeing plant-like shapes or patterns.

Geomorpho zoopsia :Seeing geometric shapes or patterns.

Chimera-zoopsia  Seeing fantastical or hybrid creatures.

In my current circumstances: I generally take 3 mills of klonopin in the evening to try and nock me the F out so I don't have to deal with these traumatic circumstances, though when it does happen even after 3 mills  due to the stress / trauma of it, further exacerbating symptoms, I then generally have to take an additional mill of K pin to knock myself out. Even if the zoopsia is not present it's a complete engulfment in sharp vivid dense  geometric, fractals. snow etc etc all of it..

This is also really concerning in relation to dependency on a higher dose and tolerance.

The most recent (past two nights) have been anthropo zoopsia actually seeing people disfigured and exaggerated. Though other times grotesque figures (faces with skin torn off) demonic, satan etc  also cartoon like figures i.e. "the Simpsons". 

As mentioned this is highly distressing and the dis-stress further exacerbates and heightens my state symptoms. I feel like aspects of PTSD and OCD may play into this . OCD in the way that I feel as though often times I cannot face or exist in this total engulfment and will excessively sometimes constantly try and distract myself by looking at my phone or something rather than experiencing / facing life I.e. HPPD . This is not healthy in itself. PTSD in the way  as feel fearful of bed time (the majority of the time  when this takes place).

This is really concerning and worrying stuff. I have always had to sleep with a light in to try and take  the edge of CEV though it's always generally complete engulfment. I feel as though I have been dealing with this generally since onset though now becoming very clued up / aware of it , about it.  Also in the way that things (symptoms ) have been majorly worse for me over the past 3 years due to an ongoing  significant life crisis. 

Possibly these types of experiences are induced through complete visual sensory overload ?  stress likley plays a part too.

Anyhow, I'm finding this highly debilitating (the condition itself) as well as the side effects from all the medications and non visual symptoms. 

I will keep researching.. it's  interesting though full on at the same time. 

Generally I am on on the phone to help lines some time after to try and process what is  happening.  

I don't mean to 'bitch on" though this maybe an interesting topic or resource for others, avd helpful for me to express/ share thaughts / experiences.

Anyhow shall keep on keeping on. For now. Thankyou. .

 

 

 

Edited December 28, 2024 by Spartan

[Spartan]

[AF44]

On 12/2/2024 at 3:24 AM, Spartan said:

Ugh! I’m so sorry you are going through this, it makes my heart hurt! I would freak the fuck out if I had arthropo-zoopsia. You are definitely a much stronger person than I am. Has the zoopsia gotten worse over time? Does anything seem to help it?? I will be praying for you.

[Spartan]

14 hours ago, AF44 said:

Ugh! I’m so sorry you are going through this, it makes my heart hurt! I would freak the fuck out if I had arthropo-zoopsia. You are definitely a much stronger person than I am. Has the zoopsia gotten worse over time? Does anything seem to help it?? I will be praying for you.

Thankyou beautiful. I really appreciate your amazing  ongoing support so much!!I

I feel it's been partly induced by some very prolonged tough times. 

Yeah I have freaked the fuck out in numerous occasions one when I slit my wrist  and another when   ambos arrived etc etc 

Yes unfortunately it's gotten worse with a situational crisis ( majorly stressful situation).spanning over 2 and a half years /. Triggering the degeneration / exacerbation or acute symptoms. 

Unfortunately nothing helps even when on high doses of Klonopin (daily using)  it happens.  When vivid Zoopsia happens I just cannot tolerate it and end up  taking additional klonopin (up to 2 mills extra or more ) just to nock myself out ASAP. Also on 200 mils of Lamotrogine daily. 

That's basically it. It's beyond horrid as is hppd tho just have to keep on keeping on for now. 

How are you ? I hope you have been well. I was missing you for a while there!! Always sending my warm wishes and you are in my prayers, thankyou for checking in

Edited December 4, 2024 by Spartan

[Jay1]

I tend to get these symptoms when I drink too much alcohol for prolonged periods. Also if I watch any graphic content, gory horror etc... It's like it imprints onto my brain. Mainly as CEVs, but sometimes in my open eye visuals too, especially at night. 

[Spartan]

2 hours ago, Jay1 said:

I tend to get these symptoms when I drink too much alcohol for prolonged periods. Also if I watch any graphic content, gory horror etc... It's like it imprints onto my brain. Mainly as CEVs, but sometimes in my open eye visuals too, especially at night. 

Absolutely Jay. I'm very sorry to hear this!  Can totally relate 100%.

Me too mainly in CEV tho sometimes open eye. Yes evenings seems / are definitely more susceptible. 

[Spartan]

Kind of an interesting take  according to AI (although im sure there is alot more to it)

HPPD Type 2 sufferers are indeed more susceptible to zoopsia, particularly in the evenings and before sleep.

Reasons for increased zoopsia in the evenings:

1. *Relaxation and reduced distractions*: As the day winds down, individuals may relax and become less distracted, making them more aware of their surroundings and internal experiences, including zoopsia.

2. *Increased sensory sensitivity*: As the evening progresses, some people may experience increased sensitivity to sensory stimuli, such as light, sound, or touch, which can exacerbate zoopsia.

3. *Circadian rhythm influences*: The body's natural circadian rhythm can affect the intensity and frequency of zoopsia. For some individuals, the evening hours may coincide with a natural peak in cortisol levels, which can contribute to increased zoopsia.

4. *Anxiety and stress*: The evening hours can be a time of increased anxiety and stress for some individuals, particularly if they're worried about sleep or the next day's events. This heightened anxiety can contribute to more frequent or intense zoopsia.

5. *Sleep pressure*: As the body prepares for sleep, the pressure to fall asleep can increase, leading to heightened arousal and anxiety. This can, in turn, exacerbate zoopsia in some individuals.

 

I feel like it may even possibly be induced by CEV causing dis-stress and inturn heightening more visuals to complete sensory overload, activating a myriad of Zoopsia hallucinatory phenomena.

[Spartan]

Latest 3 hours ago with additional 

 

[AF44]

1 hour ago, Spartan said:

Latest 3 hours ago with additional 

 

Oh Lord!! That pic gave me a jolt just looking at it! Even though it is a large woman holding a comically huge hamburger, there’s something disturbing and scary about it. I can’t even IMAGINE. Even before I started on Klonopin, I would get CEV’s and they were always scary faces that would morph into different scary faces, but that was only at bedtime and of course with my eyes closed. And that was crappy enough as it was! And also same as Jay, if I watched a horror movie sometimes it would imprint on my brain when I went to bed at night and closed my eyes. Thank goodness it wasn’t all the time, just sometimes. I never could figure it out. I’ve had the sleep paralysis and those hypnopompic hallucinations (those are the ones you get when you wake up, right?) The absolute worst one, I was dreaming about all these grimy windows. Suddenly one of them flipped up and a charred skeleton dove out of it! It woke me up, I was so scared I wanted to scream…but I literally couldn’t move my body AT ALL which made me panic even more. I remember thinking, ok start with your pinky and move down your body. So I started trying to move my pinky finger and it finally moved a little and then suddenly I was able to move my whole body. Do people with HPPD get frequent sleep paralysis? I got it only one time pre-HPPD and I literally thought my house was haunted. My mom gets the ones that happen when you fall asleep and she fully believes she’s on the astral plane flying around outside of her body. I finally learned about those sleep hallucinations and sleep paralysis in a Psych class at college and then figured out what was really going on, cuz I didn’t know WHAT to think when my mom would tell me about flying around outside of her body all night. 
Yeah, haven’t been on here in a while, I figure my posts are long and totally annoying so I decided to give you all a break! But I do get on at times and I saw your posts (Spartan) and was like, oh I have to say hi! And was totally appalled to hear about your zoopsia. I was wondering, are there ANY kind of medications that can specifically treat this particular issue? (The zoopsias.) 

Off topic, but I’ve been taking Wellbutrin since last August (2023.) It did seem to help with my depression, but suddenly I noticed that every time I took a medication I could totally tolerate before getting on Wellbutrin, now made my HPPD go bonkers! I didn’t make the connection until recently. I get short of breath at times and was prescribed an inhaler (I have used inhalers in the past, pre-Wellbutrin, with no HPPD related issues.) This time, the first time I used it, my HPPD visuals got so bad it was beyond weird. Not my normal “flare issues.” Almost like taking a teensy bit of acid. I had to take an extra Klonopin. The next time I used it, my brain spun into a literal mini acid trip that lasted a few seconds. I was like wtf?? Anyway, am off of Wellbutrin as of 11/22 and the withdrawals aren’t that bad cuz it’s not an SSRI and I can take my inhaler without issue! So weird!! And I just feel better overall, I don’t know how to describe it. Ok, I’ll shut up now lol. I will be praying for you. I actually said a prayer for you at bedtime last night since I’ve seen your posts, and will continue to pray. You truly are an HPPD warrior!

[Spartan]

19 hours ago, AF44 said:

Oh Lord!! That pic gave me a jolt just looking at it! Even though it is a large woman holding a comically huge hamburger, there’s something disturbing and scary about it. I can’t even IMAGINE. Even before I started on Klonopin, I would get CEV’s and they were always scary faces that would morph into different scary faces, but that was only at bedtime and of course with my eyes closed. And that was crappy enough as it was! And also same as Jay, if I watched a horror movie sometimes it would imprint on my brain when I went to bed at night and closed my eyes. Thank goodness it wasn’t all the time, just sometimes. I never could figure it out. I’ve had the sleep paralysis and those hypnopompic hallucinations (those are the ones you get when you wake up, right?) The absolute worst one, I was dreaming about all these grimy windows. Suddenly one of them flipped up and a charred skeleton dove out of it! It woke me up, I was so scared I wanted to scream…but I literally couldn’t move my body AT ALL which made me panic even more. I remember thinking, ok start with your pinky and move down your body. So I started trying to move my pinky finger and it finally moved a little and then suddenly I was able to move my whole body. Do people with HPPD get frequent sleep paralysis? I got it only one time pre-HPPD and I literally thought my house was haunted. My mom gets the ones that happen when you fall asleep and she fully believes she’s on the astral plane flying around outside of her body. I finally learned about those sleep hallucinations and sleep paralysis in a Psych class at college and then figured out what was really going on, cuz I didn’t know WHAT to think when my mom would tell me about flying around outside of her body all night. 
Yeah, haven’t been on here in a while, I figure my posts are long and totally annoying so I decided to give you all a break! But I do get on at times and I saw your posts (Spartan) and was like, oh I have to say hi! And was totally appalled to hear about your zoopsia. I was wondering, are there ANY kind of medications that can specifically treat this particular issue? (The zoopsias.) 

Off topic, but I’ve been taking Wellbutrin since last August (2023.) It did seem to help with my depression, but suddenly I noticed that every time I took a medication I could totally tolerate before getting on Wellbutrin, now made my HPPD go bonkers! I didn’t make the connection until recently. I get short of breath at times and was prescribed an inhaler (I have used inhalers in the past, pre-Wellbutrin, with no HPPD related issues.) This time, the first time I used it, my HPPD visuals got so bad it was beyond weird. Not my normal “flare issues.” Almost like taking a teensy bit of acid. I had to take an extra Klonopin. The next time I used it, my brain spun into a literal mini acid trip that lasted a few seconds. I was like wtf?? Anyway, am off of Wellbutrin as of 11/22 and the withdrawals aren’t that bad cuz it’s not an SSRI and I can take my inhaler without issue! So weird!! And I just feel better overall, I don’t know how to describe it. Ok, I’ll shut up now lol. I will be praying for you. I actually said a prayer for you at bedtime last night since I’ve seen your posts, and will continue to pray. You truly are an HPPD warrior!

hey there. yes, absolutely it is really quite sinister! (was the closest image i could find to share resemblance) yes! that is totally full on what you are sharing in relation to CEV etc  that sounds sooo FULL ON that would all come in the category of zoopsia also, the same as what Jay shared also.

yeahh Hypnagogic and hypnopompic are so fascinating and extremely life like, a friend and mine Stephanie made a utube video on them. (i had a real crush on her back in the day lol) i will post it here .

 

 

wow that is a trip and definitely sounds like astral travelling. Have only done once before when used to meditate frequently though obviously have had drug induced astral travel . How full on, it really sounds like your mom is a naturally gifted astral traveler! so cool you learnt about all that in school so could start connecting all the dots !

Your posts are definitely NOT annoying at all, and I / we always LOVE hearing from you!  All your posts and sharing are awesome and super entertaining and informative / therapeutic etc etc  its definitely nice to have a break though most definitely myself included. 

OKK well thanks for that. in currently taking approx 3 mills of klonopin in the evenings, also on 200 mg of lamotrigine mornings, though to be honest its not doing anything, klonopin does not take visuals away and its still occurring on 3 + mills, when it happens usually so heightened and often freaked / traumatizing that have to take at least another 2 mils of K to wind down and try to nock myself out.( so all up approx. 5 mils daily) All there meds are taking their toll, im generally sedated as fuck each norming and not really functional at all until 11 am.  Though all this is really not doing anything, obviously helps with DP DR panic / anxiety etc though not visually. though all this has gotten alot worse with a very severely fucked up situation that i really dont want to share about on here. anyhow. Seems I am now definitely dependent on klonopin again.

That Wellbutrin sounds like some pretty hardcore stuff! will definitely be avoiding that one hehe  sounds very highly intense your reaction to it!

Thankyou so much will continue to pray for you also!!! yeah i am a warrior though I feel anyone / everyone with HPPD are all truly warriors also. Tho must admit going cold turkey of 6 mills of klonopin was pretty warrior / heroic like lol 

Looking forward to sharing more soon, possibly may use this thread as a journal type of thing, it maybe beneficial for other sufferers etc. I did have another thread tho decided to "hide it" with Jays help.

My Thoughts are with you. Take good care always

Edited December 5, 2024 by Spartan

[AF44]

6 hours ago, Spartan said:

hey there. yes, absolutely it is really quite sinister! (was the closest image i could find to share resemblance) yes! that is totally full on what you are sharing in relation to CEV etc  that sounds sooo FULL ON that would all come in the category of zoopsia also, the same as what Jay shared also.

yeahh Hypnagogic and hypnopompic are so fascinating and extremely life like, a friend and mine Stephanie made a utube video on them. (i had a real crush on her back in the day lol) i will post it here .

 

 

wow that is a trip and definitely sounds like astral travelling. Have only done once before when used to meditate frequently though obviously have had drug induced astral travel . How full on, it really sounds like your mom is a naturally gifted astral traveler! so cool you learnt about all that in school so could start connecting all the dots !

Your posts are definitely NOT annoying at all, and I / we always LOVE hearing from you!  All your posts and sharing are awesome and super entertaining and informative / therapeutic etc etc  its definitely nice to have a break though most definitely myself included. 

OKK well thanks for that. in currently taking approx 3 mills of klonopin in the evenings, also on 200 mg of lamotrigine mornings, though to be honest its not doing anything, klonopin does not take visuals away and its still occurring on 3 + mills, when it happens usually so heightened and often freaked / traumatizing that have to take at least another 2 mils of K to wind down and try to nock myself out.( so all up approx. 5 mils daily) All there meds are taking their toll, im generally sedated as fuck each norming and not really functional at all until 11 am.  Though all this is really not doing anything, obviously helps with DP DR panic / anxiety etc though not visually. though all this has gotten alot worse with a very severely fucked up situation that i really dont want to share about on here. anyhow. Seems I am now definitely dependent on klonopin again.

That Wellbutrin sounds like some pretty hardcore stuff! will definitely be avoiding that one hehe  sounds very highly intense your reaction to it!

Thankyou so much will continue to pray for you also!!! yeah i am a warrior though I feel anyone / everyone with HPPD are all truly warriors also. Tho must admit going cold turkey of 6 mills of klonopin was pretty warrior / heroic like lol 

Looking forward to sharing more soon, possibly may use this thread as a journal type of thing, it maybe beneficial for other sufferers etc. I did have another thread tho decided to "hide it" with Jays help.

My Thoughts are with you. Take good care always

Aww you are so sweet to say I’m not annoying lol!! And I think I accidentally referred to you as “Sparta” during my last post Duh! Wasn’t that a movie? And yes, we HPPD’ers are definitely all warriors for sure!! (Though I think I would’ve lost the battle going cold turkey off 6 mg Klono. ) Maybe my mom does have the ability to go to an astral plane. At first I believed her, then I learned about the hypnogogic hallucinations and figured that’s what was actually happening to her. But maybe she really is on a higher plane. She says she knows when it’s happening because the first thing she feels is her body “rolling.” Then her spirit or whatever you want to call it rises up. She always talks about flying through the night outside and seeing all the houses and trees and stars and stuff. I don’t know what to think, really. I’m excited to watch the YouTube video y’all posted! (Stephanie is quite cute…not surprised you had a crush on her ) I know what you mean about being sedated af from meds. Ugh! I am ok when I wake up but I have to take my pills immediately, then I get so tired and it’s hard to concentrate. I’ve been getting terrible sleep. Yesterday my HPPD symptoms flared up. Maybe part of the continuing Wellbutrin withdrawals? My vision was SO snowy and staticky last night and my brain felt “weak.” That sounds really weird, but idk how to describe it. It was exhausting to even think. When I went to bed I had to lie there and literally think of nothing, which wasn’t hard. My brain felt like a muscle that just went floppy and stopped working. Does that sound odd? 
I kept waking up and by the time I was in a nice sleep, my alarm went off at 6. I’m up early because my daughter (who plays college volleyball) is having a match at 8:00 my time and I wanted to have my coffee, etc. before I turned it on. It’s the playoffs. Or something. I have no clue about brackets, playoffs, nationals…you would think I would know these things since she’s been in sports since she was in the 4th grade! Traveling basketball for a couple years, then vb. She is in college on a full ride volleyball scholarship. She is a senior this year, so this is the last year I get to see her play. Her team came really close to winning the national championship last year (or was it the year before? My poor addled brain can’t remember.) It would be awesome if they won the championship this year as a final send off! Sorry, I’m a beast about bragging on my kids! They turned out so awesome despite me trying to raise them, having HPPD made it hard, I know I was a good mom but it was so hard to think straight a lot of the time, and I was always on so many different meds I feel like I was disconnected during their teenage years. 
ANYWAY…speaking of which, her match will be starting in 15 minutes and I have to figure out how to get the livestream on my TV. My son usually pulls it up for me but he’s asleep of course lol. He does online school at home, so he doesn’t get up until 10. Will write more later! 

 

[Spartan]

On 12/6/2024 at 1:47 AM, AF44 said:

Aww you are so sweet to say I’m not annoying lol!! And I think I accidentally referred to you as “Sparta” during my last post Duh! Wasn’t that a movie? And yes, we HPPD’ers are definitely all warriors for sure!! (Though I think I would’ve lost the battle going cold turkey off 6 mg Klono. ) Maybe my mom does have the ability to go to an astral plane. At first I believed her, then I learned about the hypnogogic hallucinations and figured that’s what was actually happening to her. But maybe she really is on a higher plane. She says she knows when it’s happening because the first thing she feels is her body “rolling.” Then her spirit or whatever you want to call it rises up. She always talks about flying through the night outside and seeing all the houses and trees and stars and stuff. I don’t know what to think, really. I’m excited to watch the YouTube video y’all posted! (Stephanie is quite cute…not surprised you had a crush on her ) I know what you mean about being sedated af from meds. Ugh! I am ok when I wake up but I have to take my pills immediately, then I get so tired and it’s hard to concentrate. I’ve been getting terrible sleep. Yesterday my HPPD symptoms flared up. Maybe part of the continuing Wellbutrin withdrawals? My vision was SO snowy and staticky last night and my brain felt “weak.” That sounds really weird, but idk how to describe it. It was exhausting to even think. When I went to bed I had to lie there and literally think of nothing, which wasn’t hard. My brain felt like a muscle that just went floppy and stopped working. Does that sound odd? 
I kept waking up and by the time I was in a nice sleep, my alarm went off at 6. I’m up early because my daughter (who plays college volleyball) is having a match at 8:00 my time and I wanted to have my coffee, etc. before I turned it on. It’s the playoffs. Or something. I have no clue about brackets, playoffs, nationals…you would think I would know these things since she’s been in sports since she was in the 4th grade! Traveling basketball for a couple years, then vb. She is in college on a full ride volleyball scholarship. She is a senior this year, so this is the last year I get to see her play. Her team came really close to winning the national championship last year (or was it the year before? My poor addled brain can’t remember.) It would be awesome if they won the championship this year as a final send off! Sorry, I’m a beast about bragging on my kids! They turned out so awesome despite me trying to raise them, having HPPD made it hard, I know I was a good mom but it was so hard to think straight a lot of the time, and I was always on so many different meds I feel like I was disconnected during their teenage years. 
ANYWAY…speaking of which, her match will be starting in 15 minutes and I have to figure out how to get the livestream on my TV. My son usually pulls it up for me but he’s asleep of course lol. He does online school at home, so he doesn’t get up until 10. Will write more later! 

 

Cool thankyou for sharing!!! Will reply as best I can having sone challenges reading as of late. 

I wish this site has a record button so we could just send each other voice messages lol 

Yeahh it's really interesting the symbology behind things! 

That's totally fine with me you can call me Sparta any time  actually my traditional name is Limban Nabwan (received during full body tribal initiation) i.e. cutting. It's very Sparta like (the scarification and marking. Chest. Legs. Back and arms all in patterning and symbolism) actually the picture on my profile wall is the actual  culture house / spirit house where the initiation took place over two week time frame. Tribal initiations are brutal. 

Yeahh can totally relate so close to loosing it from 6 mill K cold turkey with x 2 suicide attempts in the process, suffocation and cutting circulation. Some hard core shit happy to be through that now.. 

It really sounds like your mom has "abilities" in entering non ordinary states etc it would be soo cool to all go flying together!! Hehehe I think I recently seen that in a movie that was very witchy on Netflix (tho looked so fun) 

Yeah Stephanie is pretty cute   lol the video is quite informative and she presents very well. 

No does sound so odd like your brain going floppy like a muscle as you described. To me it's just like a good description/ depiction. In those times it might be helpful to focus on the breath inhalation and exhalation, maybe ? Really hope you are ok with that now and feeling better.. I mean I often say very  increasingly bizarre freakish things on here at times that readers likley think I'm a complete nutcase lol  ! Maybe if I said I said that I did a brain fart that stunk alot and had psychedelic properties that might have sounded a little bit  strange

Your daughter sounds so amazing and sounds like she is dominating in her sport, Likley thanks to you for being such an awesome mother  etc etc etc etc  

I'm just taking dinner now ! Enjoy your morning, lunchtime, evening etc whatever time it is hehe talk soon! If not we can always meet up on the astral plane

 

Edited December 6, 2024 by Spartan

[Spartan]

On 12/6/2024 at 1:47 AM, AF44 said:

 

Oh the dancing lady in the spotty suit

I called a help line for someone to talk too after as the the psychedelic blizzard is all engulfing  and f torture. 

Took additional K hoping for a knock out soon

 

Edited December 8, 2024 by Spartan

[Spartan]

This is no way to live F this Sh@T

( Venting )

Hopefully 4.5 mills should do it 

Edited December 8, 2024 by Spartan

[Spartan]

Edited December 8, 2024 by Spartan
Add

[Spartan]

What is really concerning os that , visuals are so complex, vivid, distressing etc is that I'm finding it hard just to exist to face and endure them any further. ( for some type of bullshit relief I will try berry  my head in my phone as a distraction attempt) I feel like I'm very depersonlalized when I do this as often hours will pass, it's always still there  tho as soon as I put the phone down im just bombarded , engulfed and inundated to extreme levels that really find intolerable. Just thought I'd share this aspect as some mst have insight. Cheers. 

Edited December 8, 2024 by Spartan

[AF44]

On 12/8/2024 at 10:41 AM, Spartan said:

What is really concerning os that , visuals are so complex, vivid, distressing etc is that I'm finding it hard just to exist to face and endure them any further. ( for some type of bullshit relief I will try berry  my head in my phone as a distraction attempt) I feel like I'm very depersonlalized when I do this as often hours will pass, it's always still there  tho as soon as I put the phone down im just bombarded , engulfed and inundated to extreme levels that really find intolerable. Just thought I'd share this aspect as some mst have insight. Cheers. 

Holy crap! That biyatch in the disco suit is terrifying! Her face is weird af. I am so so so horribly sorry that you have to deal with this. Do you think the 24/7 hellucinations are all from your HPPD? I know you said HPPD can cause zoopsias but this seems completely extreme. But what do I know. Maybe there is something additional going on. It seems to me like it’s just getting worse and worse, is that accurate? Have you told the dr about all of this? There has to be SOMETHING that can be done to tone down this shit or get rid of it. I’m glad you have been calling the helpline. Does it help you to talk to someone? Like does it dampen down the hellucinations? Ugh. I will continue to pray for you. 

[Spartan]

1 hour ago, AF44 said:

Holy crap! That biyatch in the disco suit is terrifying! Her face is weird af. I am so so so horribly sorry that you have to deal with this. Do you think the 24/7 hellucinations are all from your HPPD? I know you said HPPD can cause zoopsias but this seems completely extreme. But what do I know. Maybe there is something additional going on. It seems to me like it’s just getting worse and worse, is that accurate? Have you told the dr about all of this? There has to be SOMETHING that can be done to tone down this shit or get rid of it. I’m glad you have been calling the helpline. Does it help you to talk to someone? Like does it dampen down the hellucinations? Ugh. I will continue to pray for you. 

Thankyou I really appreciate that !!! Yes it's all HPPD. Yes it is extreme due to the fact that it's severely deteriorated over the past 2.5 years / exacerbated due to an ongoing major life crisis / stressor. Yes has been worse and worse. Yes have told doc.Im not sure what can be done to dampen it down. . Cos already on a shit load of medications. I just needed to talk to someone partially because the  overwhelm of the vividness / constant intensity is too much to face. Like momentary speaking or anything to try and relief or distract momentary,  Does not dampen tho. Thankyou will continue to pray for you too

[AF44]

19 hours ago, Spartan said:

Thankyou I really appreciate that !!! Yes it's all HPPD. Yes it is extreme due to the fact that it's severely deteriorated over the past 2.5 years / exacerbated due to an ongoing major life crisis / stressor. Yes has been worse and worse. Yes have told doc.Im not sure what can be done to dampen it down. . Cos already on a shit load of medications. I just needed to talk to someone partially because the  overwhelm of the vividness / constant intensity is too much to face. Like momentary speaking or anything to try and relief or distract momentary,  Does not dampen tho. Thankyou will continue to pray for you too

Eeks! How awful. I honestly can’t even begin to imagine. What meds are you on? Do you think one or some of them make it worse and no one has made the connection? 
Do you think the stressor you have been going through for the last 2 1/2 years, once it’s been resolved will help? And like maybe this extreme shit is due in part to PTSD? I’m glad talking to someone is at least distracting enough to refocus your attention off of the hellucinations, even if they are still there. I wish there was a magic wand to fix all of our brains, lol. I’m sure everyone wishes that. I bitch and moan about my HPPD sometimes and then I think of all the stories I’ve read on here from people who have it a million times worse and I’m a little ashamed. Then I pray so hard for everyone. You are so brave and strong. If I had to deal with what you are going through, I’d be done for! Probably in a looney bin begging to be doped out 24/7 or ask for a lobotomy. This sounds sooo stupid but I’ve always been curious if a partial lobotomy would fix anything? Like take away the part of the brain responsible for visual input? I mean, I guess if someone had a lobotomy they would be totally disabled mentally, obviously, but would it be better than all this? It probably wouldn’t work at all lol. I just wonder sometimes. Have you tried any other treatments besides medication for this? (Besides a lobotomy ) Like TMS or any of those other sorts of procedures? Ugh. It’s all so awful but as I think you’ve said, as long as we have hope…

[Spartan]

On 12/12/2024 at 2:06 AM, AF44 said:

Eeks! How awful. I honestly can’t even begin to imagine. What meds are you on? Do you think one or some of them make it worse and no one has made the connection? 
Do you think the stressor you have been going through for the last 2 1/2 years, once it’s been resolved will help? And like maybe this extreme shit is due in part to PTSD? I’m glad talking to someone is at least distracting enough to refocus your attention off of the hellucinations, even if they are still there. I wish there was a magic wand to fix all of our brains, lol. I’m sure everyone wishes that. I bitch and moan about my HPPD sometimes and then I think of all the stories I’ve read on here from people who have it a million times worse and I’m a little ashamed. Then I pray so hard for everyone. You are so brave and strong. If I had to deal with what you are going through, I’d be done for! Probably in a looney bin begging to be doped out 24/7 or ask for a lobotomy. This sounds sooo stupid but I’ve always been curious if a partial lobotomy would fix anything? Like take away the part of the brain responsible for visual input? I mean, I guess if someone had a lobotomy they would be totally disabled mentally, obviously, but would it be better than all this? It probably wouldn’t work at all lol. I just wonder sometimes. Have you tried any other treatments besides medication for this? (Besides a lobotomy ) Like TMS or any of those other sorts of procedures? Ugh. It’s all so awful but as I think you’ve said, as long as we have hope…

Hey thankyou sorry for the slow reply!! Ummm that labotomoy stuff kind of scares me I don't think ever consider that ! Thaughtful suggestion anyhow tho .  

Did you ask what meds I'm on ? 200 mg lamotrogine and 4 mils klonopin.

Have had suggested a tms tho kind of feel limited success with severe long standing hppders..?

Yeah this ongoing stressor over 2.5 close to 3 years has really fked me hard.. like a can barely read now (I could before)  and shit is like 10 x worse along with the daily zoopsias etc etc etc etc don't like to talk so much about my own tho yeah has been real torture. I have human rights.  Like I just cannot face Anyhow.. 

I just had these people that were so celebratory euphoric fuckking  weird scary stuff and a bit grotesque (like disfigured human forms) also at.the start Astro Boy rocked up. Bizarre..

Or like in in the movies watching a full blown thriller or action unfold.  

Hope you are well

 

Edited December 23, 2024 by Spartan

[Spartan]

Yes, experiencing  zoopsia hallucinations can be similar to being immersed in a movie in several ways:

Similarities to Being Immersed in a Movie

1. Vivid visuals: Zoopsia hallucinations can be extremely vivid and detailed, much like the visuals in a movie.

2. Immersive experience.The hallucinations can be so intense that the person may feel fully immersed in the experience, similar to being engaged in a movie.

3. Emotional resonance: Zoopsia hallucinations can evoke strong emotions, such as fear, anxiety, or fascination, similar to the emotional responses elicited by a movie.

4. Narrative-like structure In some cases, the hallucinations can have a narrative-like structure, with the animals or insects interacting with each other or with the person experiencing the hallucinations, similar to a movie's storyline.

Edited December 23, 2024 by Spartan

[Spartan]

Daytime 

"Serpent" in green grass

Shedding of old skin

Birth death rebirth 

Transformation

Kundalini 

Much more symbolism from other traditions* 

[Spartan]

developed more vivid zoopsia after being tortured and having my basic human rights violated. 

[Spartan]

Now I can barely read 

[Spartan]

for anyone be be tortured is disgusting and horrific 

Don't want to bitch on tho.

Being thrown inns psych ward for over a week 

2 suicide attempts, suffocation strangulation 

Slit wrists  , razor blades 

Up to 7 - 10 hospital admissions to ED via ambulance 

Crisis stabilisation units multiple 

MRIs 

Cold turkey from 6 mils of K

Positioned with large doses of anti psyches

Various addiction processes  

This is just on the past 2 years tho I'm still the F here.  

That's why I said it's been an ongoing acute situational crisis. Like to the depths of hell and beyond.

It's ok you can all throw me ok the freak basket now. Actually it's kind of liberating being a freak in sone ways. Some of the freaks I've met are some of the lovelies and beautiful people I have met.

Anyhow we all go through storms in life . It's just particularly challenging for us people which chronic conditions they are greatly exacerbated by stress. In my case ongoing existential life crisis. 

Thankyou for listening 

Anyhow F normal 

Edited December 28, 2024 by Spartan