Morning symptoms

[raincat]

This has mostly gone away because lamictal is working well for me, but before when I woke up there would be some different symptoms than the ones I have during the day. Those symptoms didn't start happening until once when I suddenly woke up terrified in the middle of the night, my heart was going fast, my brain physically felt weird, i could hear a rushing sound, and surfaces around me appeared to be violently jittering. If you've ever seen a digital 3d model clipping through something and having fast rigid movements its a bit like that. It really scared me but luckily it faded after a few minutes. Then some time after that I started to notice that after I woke up if I closed my eyes I would either see blue and green patterns or if I turned towards a light source I would see white, and if my eyes are open and looking near a light source I can see a pattern (not moving) of clear lines that look like veins. Maybe they are my veins idk. It would go away shortly. Then the jittery surfaces from that time I woke in the night as well as moving spirals on objects around me got added to the symptoms particular to a short period after I woke up. Then I started noticing the the pattern of clear vein looking things when I look near a bright light source was no longer exclusive to the temporary difference in symptoms after I wake up, I could see it at any point during the day too. Since taking lamictal pretty much all my hppd symptoms have reduced to varying degrees. The vein things are one of the only ones that seem to probably not be affected by lamictal. Here's a cat as compensation for gazing upon my post.

[yarkadin]

https://www.mountainviewoptometry.com/tree-branch-illusion-commonly-seen-during-eye-exams

[yarkadin]

You may be seeing what is called the "Purkinje Trees"... or possibly "Haidinger's brush".  Remember we have disinhibition of cerebral cortical information so we are seeing shit in our eyes that no one typically notices or pays attention to.  These things specifically died down for me over time... though I do remember seeing such things periodically and faintly all my life.

Edited August 25 by yarkadin

[boyo4202]

The blue/green patterns are something I experience after waking up as well, kinda like faint splotches covering my FoV. I've found I can induce the pattern by lying completely still for several minutes, it's pretty interesting. I've also had episodes where I wake up in the middle of the night heart pounding feeling like I'm about to keel over with no apparent cause but I haven't seen veins or jittering personally.