Jump to content

Life is Hard


WuWei
 Share

Recommended Posts

Hey guys.... been a while since I checked in. I try not to prowl the site for too long at a time, as I tend to get obsessive about stuff. I'm checking in for a while for a little solidarity though :).

My symptoms have been really bad lately. DP/DR and weird perceptual glitches I don't think there is a name for... and of course the visuals (which don't really bother me anymore).

I'm increasing my Lexapro dose (which is a constant balancing act for me) in hopes of feeling better... it's a slippery slope though... too much and the brain fog gets really bad.

Anyway, just having a hard time lately. Thanks for reading, my friends. I hope all of you are well, and to those of you that have this thing really bad, I feel your pain. It's a hard thing to live with, and it's good to know we aren't alone in this. Stay strong.

WW

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's hard to describe... sort of like when your brain misinterprets information and makes it into something else. The trashcan becomes a person until the brain rights itself... the visuals create a branch over your head that isn't there... it can be extreme at times... like I'm driving down the road and a truck is along side of me and my brain interprets the forward movement of the truck to me moving backwards. Stuff like that is really scary. Also, it can be "body image" related, like I think my arm is in a certain place in my head and it's really somewhere else... make any sense? Things also move and shift a lot for me, especially out of my peripheral vision.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On a side note, a low Lexapro blood level seems to be the issue. I've been increasing my dose and today I feel much better :). I even feel good enough to go to my martial arts training that I've had to skip the last few times due to the sleep deprivation I have to endure to go (it's early in the morning and a pretty good ways away).

Anyway, I thank god to be coming out of the hell I was in, and that there's light at the end of the tunnel. I get scared that I will end up in this horribly "wrong" place, where there's nothing but anxiety and a misfiring brain... And, worse case scenario, to have to be hospitalized with a bunch of doctors who have no idea what HPPD even is and make me worse by using drugs I'm overly sensitive to and antipsychotics I don't need and that will (from what I've read) make things even worse.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks,

Yeah, I don't know if I'll ever have it "beat", but hopefully I can get to a point where it's a non-issue. It runs in my family. My dad has some of the features and my uncle had it for 10 years and it went away. That would be great! I'm rounding the 10 year mark, but I think my case is more severe than his was.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

WuWei, keep going man. Life can be very shit at times, but never forget that you can still be happy.

Can you please elaborate more on your uncle's symptoms going away after 10 years? What were they? Were they induced by LSD?

Thanks

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, we really didn't talk about it too much, but basically I said I had this thing that was caused by drug use (and now I know by a genetic predisposition to it too). He told me not to worry about it and that he had the same thing for about 10 years and that it would go away. He said he didn't worry about it because he knew what it was from. He told me he used to have after images and trailers and movement out of his peripheral vision, etc. Pretty typical mild HPPD sounding stuff. It was LSD induced... he used to do a lot of acid back in the 60's, along with the occasional other "head drug".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Well, started to feel better for a while there... now things are getting scary again. I'm going to call my doctor on Tuesday to see if she can put me back on the non-generic Lexapro and see if that helps. I hope I don't get any worse... I don't think I'll be able to work.

Anyone had any success with Keppra for DP/DR symptoms? I don't really care about the HPPD anymore... but the brainfog and DP and DR makes my life really hard...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The fact that your uncle says it went away is encouraging, particularly as it was triggered by lsd.

I've never taken Keppra but a few people around here have and it seems to have worked to some degree. Hope things start to become better again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Had a great day today... felt horrible last night and took a mg of klonopin... seems to have kind of gotten me out of my funk. No DP/DR tonight and HPPD symptoms were pretty minimal. I feel very grateful for the good days. :) Thanks for everyone's support.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.