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Hey guys: I’d like to discuss a frequent situation I’ve faced since I got HPPD, and honestly one of my deepest concerns with the condition. I hope you can give me your opinion on the subject. Since I am constantly immersed in social situations -school, family, friends, work- one of my biggest worries is showing my HPPD or letting people know there might be something wrong with me. I often ask some of my closest family members and friends if they have noticed something different, but they all have told me I look exactly the same and it seems nothing’s chanaged at all.

I’m aware it might be anxiety, but I’d like to ask you: In your experience, are there physical manifestations related with HPPD? Is there anyway someone could realize in any sort of way your condition o anything similar? Some of my principal insecurities are my speech and the way I walk. They do not feel the same. I am aware it could be my anxiety making me believe I do not speak or walk normal anymore but who knows?

Have you had anyone noticing a change in your physical appearance since you contracted the condition? I know this may sound dumb but looks is an extremely important asset for me, and even thought I do not always feel good, I put a lot of effort on behaving and looking fine.  Thanks for reading and for your recommendations and answers.

 

Sincerely, Marco

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The people I have told about my hppd have always been amazed that I have a mental illness and say I come across as laid back and relaxed. I always thought people must think I am an anxious mess and a bit of a strange person, as that's how I feel inside. I guess people don't look for this sort of stuff (or i'm a good actor!)

The only thing some people have picked up on is that I struggle to hold eye contact. It's something I have improved over time though. 

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I don't think that I had any actual change in appearance immediately from HPPD, although I did have a lot of hair falling out in the shower immediately after from the stress of my brain being entirely fucked, but as far as appearance nothing change. I did however notice, or in retrospect, do notice that I had an increase of insecurity, it was strange, as though when i looked in the mirror I would only see flaws, pre HPPD I was pretty confident about how I looked. After HPPD it took me a long time to build confidence, it was really hard too. I think there are definitely social impacts of HPPD for sure, its generally the case with most mental disorders. Anyways what I am saying is I think maybe you might be perceiving yourself differently than you used to, even though you actually look the same. If that makes sense.

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  • 1 month later...

Hppd made me gain weight. This doesn’t seem to happen to everyone but some people gain weight. It could be stress eating for some but wasn’t for me. 
 

when I first got hppd I lost a lot of vocabulary and I would stop talking mid sentence. It was like I couldn’t find the words. I knew what I wanted to say meaning wise, but it was as if I had lost language. 
 

I had a huge amount of anxiety about people thinking I was weird or whatever. Most people didn’t even notice. 
 

and lastly—- these things went away. I don’t have pausing issues with speech and the weight went away. Give it some time :) 

 

focus on helping yourself feel more safe around people. Their just people—most are obsessed with what’s going on with them and pay you very little attention ;) 

 

unless you’re hot. In which case you can walk funny and talk weird. They’ll notice then but more because they’re watching how hot you are. No one cares when you’re hot. So just focus on getting hot and then nothing matters. You could get a muscle suit like in arrested development but that’s lame. Fly to Korea and plasticize yourself. Take Chinese steroids. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE YOURSELF THE ADONIS THAT DISTRACTS FROM THE GOOP THAT IS OUR BRAINS. 
 

Make a show about it. Become the YouTube. You have some speech issues but You’ll get follows because guess what—I’m not listening anyway I’m just staring at you and imaging the ocean because you’re giving Jason Momoa a run for it. 


 

 


ignore all of this.

 

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4 hours ago, Onemorestep said:

Hppd made me gain weight. This doesn’t seem to happen to everyone but some people gain weight. It could be stress eating for some but wasn’t for me. 
 

when I first got hppd I lost a lot of vocabulary and I would stop talking mid sentence. It was like I couldn’t find the words. I knew what I wanted to say meaning wise, but it was as if I had lost language. 
 

I had a huge amount of anxiety about people thinking I was weird or whatever. Most people didn’t even notice. 
 

and lastly—- these things went away. I don’t have pausing issues with speech and the weight went away. Give it some time :) 

 

focus on helping yourself feel more safe around people. Their just people—most are obsessed with what’s going on with them and pay you very little attention ;) 

 

unless you’re hot. In which case you can walk funny and talk weird. They’ll notice then but more because they’re watching how hot you are. No one cares when you’re hot. So just focus on getting hot and then nothing matters. You could get a muscle suit like in arrested development but that’s lame. Fly to Korea and plasticize yourself. Take Chinese steroids. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE YOURSELF THE ADONIS THAT DISTRACTS FROM THE GOOP THAT IS OUR BRAINS. 
 

Make a show about it. Become the YouTube. You have some speech issues but You’ll get follows because guess what—I’m not listening anyway I’m just staring at you and imaging the ocean because you’re giving Jason Momoa a run for it. 


 

 


ignore all of this.

 

Lmao.... its true.

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Yeah my appearance changed since HPPD because I look tired as I sleep bad, and I have dry eyes now so I often look like I just smoked a joint and I don't look good this way lol, eyes are small and make me look old.

It bothers me but what can I do, sometimes my symptoms randomly get better for a few hours and the change in my face is notable, I look like the "normal" me. When this happens my GF who met me post-HPPD often comments on how big my eyes are lol

But like other said most people even close friends don't think I've changed at all which is weird, I feel like 50% me

To answer your question : yes HPPD changed my appearance and I can get self conscious about it 

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