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Will give myself 4 years to recover, if not will 100% kill myself with suicide


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I will not live in this shit and just adapt to it, why would I. There is no life in the state, Why isn’t there a cure yet? It is 100% not brain damage or a mental disorder that has been proven! They should do better research to visual snow and the other symptoms some people already have recovered from medications! Hopefully within for yours there is a medication available.

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The frustration and suffering is mutual mate. The reason there's barely been any research done about HPPD is because it's a disorder that's caused by illicit drugs and because most people that get it don't seek medical care because of the stigma around drugs and because they through internet quickly finds out that there is no cure or good treatment, and most of those that do seek care gets misdiagnosed because of the lack of knowledge within the medical community. Because of these reasons i believe that this disorder in varying degrees is way more common than what we know, same with visual snow syndrome.

Instead of killing yourself, start dedicating a big part of your life to spread awarness about this awful disorder, contact medias, write on forums and facebook groups, heck, even hold lectures if you're up for it! I really think it's our responsibility to do this and if all those with HPPD would the way to a potential cure or treatment sure would go faster.

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I’m finding it hard not to think in a similar way. Last year I was flying high in life had a great career and everything lined up for me and it’s come to a crashing halt. Don’t think I could ever do something as drastic as killing myself because I have a very loving family and I couldn’t do that to them, but I honestly can’t see myself enjoying life very much in the future seeing the world in pixels and all the other shit symptoms  haha

Edited by Nubber578
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3 hours ago, Nubber578 said:

I’m finding it hard not to think in a similar way. Last year I was flying high in life had a great career and everything lined up for me and it’s come to a crashing halt. Don’t think I could ever do something as drastic as killing myself because I have a very loving family and I couldn’t do that to them, but I honestly can’t see myself enjoying life very much in the future seeing the world in pixels and all the other shit symptoms  haha

Same for me man. I was traveling the world and making a pretty decent income. I was also married.

I divorced (before the HPPD) and that alone was a big hit. I was battling with chronic pain and decided to try "entheogens" to cure it, and ended up with HPPD.

Now, 7 months after, I feel like I am getting back on my feet. Lamotrigine has been of a great help, along with all the lifestyle changes that people mention here.

To give you some context:

Quote

Past studies suggest that it takes a person, on average, eighteen months to move on after divorce, while others simply leave it at “it's complicated.” And that's the truth—divorce is complicated, and because of this, science is only so accurate.

So, if losing your spouse takes 18 months of grieving, how much time do you think it takes to grieve the loss of your old self and move on with your new one?

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6 hours ago, rlopes said:

Same for me man. I was traveling the world and making a pretty decent income. I was also married.

I divorced (before the HPPD) and that alone was a big hit. I was battling with chronic pain and decided to try "entheogens" to cure it, and ended up with HPPD.

Now, 7 months after, I feel like I am getting back on my feet. Lamotrigine has been of a great help, along with all the lifestyle changes that people mention here.

To give you some context:

So, if losing your spouse takes 18 months of grieving, how much time do you think it takes to grieve the loss of your old self and move on with your new one?

Sounds like you’ve been through quite a bit man I feel for you. Glad to hear you’re powering on and starting to get back on your feet. 

I have always wanted to be in the military and last year I worked my ass off and got fit to join. A few weeks into training I suffered an injury and was discharged. I would have to wait a year until I could go back in and I was devastated. Unfortunately while I was waiting to go back in I made a terrible mistake due to my judgement being way off at the time and I took LSD after my mates asked me if I wanted to join them. I had taken drugs before including LSD but had left that life behind sorted myself out but this was almost like I had gone backwards and slipped back into my old self for a day. I got HPPD after this and now all of a sudden my life has just taken a terrible turn. 

I think in my case my HPPD symptoms are not as bad as many people describe but still bad enough to ruin my career which is causing me a great deal of anxiety and regret.

I agree at the moment it seems very hard to visualise myself getting used to my new life but all we can do is keep moving forward and hope for the best as well as doing things to help ourselves.
 


 

 

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1 hour ago, Nubber578 said:

Sounds like you’ve been through quite a bit man I feel for you. Glad to hear you’re powering on and starting to get back on your feet. 

I have always wanted to be in the military and last year I worked my ass off and got fit to join. A few weeks into training I suffered an injury and was discharged. I would have to wait a year until I could go back in and I was devastated. Unfortunately while I was waiting to go back in I made a terrible mistake due to my judgement being way off at the time and I took LSD after my mates asked me if I wanted to join them. I had taken drugs before including LSD but had left that life behind sorted myself out but this was almost like I had gone backwards and slipped back into my old self for a day. I got HPPD after this and now all of a sudden my life has just taken a terrible turn. 

I think in my case my HPPD symptoms are not as bad as many people describe but still bad enough to ruin my career which is causing me a great deal of anxiety and regret.

I agree at the moment it seems very hard to visualise myself getting used to my new life but all we can do is keep moving forward and hope for the best as well as doing things to help ourselves.
 


 

 

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles.  If it's any consolation, I made it through submarine service with this condition.  It wasn't easy but if the military is really something you want there's no reason you can't still do it.  Give it time and things will get better, you'll feel like yourself again.  Just take it as a hard lesson and keep on living.  This disorder has taught me a lot about life and myself and even though there were many hard and dark days things eventually turned around.  My advice is to try and not focus on it, justlet your body and mind heal. 

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On 5/7/2021 at 6:40 AM, Chandler said:

I will not live in this shit and just adapt to it, why would I. There is no life in the state, Why isn’t there a cure yet? It is 100% not brain damage or a mental disorder that has been proven! They should do better research to visual snow and the other symptoms some people already have recovered from medications! Hopefully within for yours there is a medication available.

I understand your frustration and I'm sorry to hear how difficult things are for you.  For me, life was still worth living even though I couldn't see it at times.  Eventually the fog cleared and I felt like myself again.  Despite this I made the terrible decision to restart psychedelics after nearly 8 years of abstinence and it threw me back in.  Since then I have made an additional recovery.  You will be fine just stick to a simple regiment: 

  • Stop all drugs (even alcohol for a bit if you can) 
  • Get as much sleep as you can 
  • Exercise regularly even if it makes your symptoms worse
  • Eat well 
  • Stay busy with work/ school/ hobby etc
  • Try not to worry 
  • Learn to meditate if you can (this was really helpful for me) 
  • If you're open to it, start praying to God (it doesn't have to be any particular religion just ask for help on your knees everyday you don't even have to believe in anything.  For me, eventually I was willing to try anything.  I really believe strength to carry on will come if we reach out)

 

Think about how good it's going to feel when you recover, I cannot tell you how much you appreciate the simple things in life. 

Hang in there!

Nick 

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1 hour ago, cosmiccharlie said:

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles.  If it's any consolation, I made it through submarine service with this condition.  It wasn't easy but if the military is really something you want there's no reason you can't still do it.  Give it time and things will get better, you'll feel like yourself again.  Just take it as a hard lesson and keep on living.  This disorder has taught me a lot about life and myself and even though there were many hard and dark days things eventually turned around.  My advice is to try and not focus on it, justlet your body and mind heal. 

It’s the only career path I’ve had any interest in so I’m hoping I can still I follow it. It does help to hear that you managed to get through submarine service, gives me hope that I could do the same, I’m still in the early stages of HPPD and i’m only 20 so I have plenty of time on my side. It’s only early but I have been taught a few valuable lessons that I know will help me in the future.

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On 5/12/2021 at 1:36 PM, rlopes said:

Now, 7 months after, I feel like I am getting back on my feet. Lamotrigine has been of a great help, along with all the lifestyle changes that people mention here.

In what way have Lamotrigine helped you? What dose are you on and when did you notice the improvements?

Edited by Hall89
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