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Taking SSRI Citalopram for recovery and anxiety are SSRI dangerous for recovery? Please need a fast reaction


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I made a thread about this as well a few weeks ago, you can read it below. Since then i've been in contact with many that have jumped on SSRI without any changes to their vision, and there are more ca

I have been on an SSRI for almost 3 years and it has mostly helped me recover.  I think there was a a transient period in the beginning of visual symptoms getting slightly more pronounced but it subsi

Remember, SSRIs are changing the way your brain operates.  They take time for the effects to be realized and for an equilibrium to be reached.  I would recommend talking to your doctor about this, it

Not rude at all.  I drank through the first recovery.  I'm not sure whether it hindered it or not but as a life decision independent of HPPD, staying sober is something I need to do.  As far as supplements are concerned, I spent a lot of time trying different things and in the end I think it was a waste of money, time and created anxiety.  I really think a healthy diet is all one needs unless you're actually deficient in some material. Today I do take vitamin D, fish oil and vitamin B since I'm a vegetarian.  The one supplement I think maybe help was curcumin/turmeric but you can just get this through diet (my wife is Indian so we eat plenty of turmeric).  

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I'm sorry to hear how much you're suffering! It's mutual and you probably have the exact same thoughts as me. This is both tragic and pathetic, but last night i actually was very close to ending my life. I bought a rope, tied a noose and put it around my throat, but just as i was about to put the weight of my legs my girlfriend sent me a message from work saying that she loved me and that she will fight through this with me. So i just couldn't do it since it would have destroyed her and my close ones. So i said to hell with it, i might as well keep going for a couple of more years to see if my symptoms actually can decrease, but i doubt it.

Anyways, sadly i can't give any better advice than what Charlie has done. but try to think like this - if you kill yourself you won't exist anymore and feel nothing and you would never have known if you actually could have gotten better. And before taking that step atleast try every possible medicine that some have had success with, like lamotrigine or keppra. Many finds relief from benzos like clonazepame as well, sure they are highly addictive, but atleast they're better than death.

And if we're real lucky the visual snow initiative might make a breakthrough and find some effective treatment that works for HPPD as well since they're very similar and most likely shares several mechanisms.

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@Hall89 @cosmiccharlie sorry to hear this brother!! I get all your frustration and I know this is hell but we need to get through it!!! Can I maybe have your number so we can stay in touch of each other because we will get better believe me maybe not this year or next year but eventually we will! Maybe we can also keep contact about doctor appointments and other things thats helped. Keep up the fight, Believe me with all of the symptoms we have we are real warriors don’t forget it!! You are extremely strong because you are fighting everyday most people can’t even imagine the pain we go through.. but believe me we will get better I mean 95% - 100% it is my only goal and I know we will succeed! For ourselves and the people we love! Just believe and I am going to get all medical help I can so if I have a breakthrough I will let you know!

keep up the fight brother! You are strong and we will get through this just like me!

in a few years we will say this was all a big nightmare and just get our normal lifes back!

 

 

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@cosmiccharlie Ok thankyou for the advice, I will not drink till a feel I am back to my old self maybe it hinders the healing process and a day extra because of drinking is not worth it. I still bought the other supplements you recommended and won’t look for more supplement because of anxiety. Thankyou for all your help and I know I feel recover it will take a while but that’s ok! I believe you that I recover! And I Will

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25 minutes ago, Jacob Lesley said:

@Hall89 @cosmiccharlie sorry to hear this brother!! I get all your frustration and I know this is hell but we need to get through it!!! Can I maybe have your number so we can stay in touch of each other because we will get better believe me maybe not this year or next year but eventually we will! Maybe we can also keep contact about doctor appointments and other things thats helped. Keep up the fight, Believe me with all of the symptoms we have we are real warriors don’t forget it!! You are extremely strong because you are fighting everyday most people can’t even imagine the pain we go through.. but believe me we will get better I mean 95% - 100% it is my only goal and I know we will succeed! For ourselves and the people we love! Just believe and I am going to get all medical help I can so if I have a breakthrough I will let you know!

keep up the fight brother! You are strong and we will get through this just like me!

in a few years we will say this was all a big nightmare and just get our normal lifes back!

 

 

Thanks mate! I really hope you're right! In what country do you live mate? 

21 minutes ago, Jacob Lesley said:

@Hall89how long do you have the symptoms and from what did you get it? How many times you used?

I'm only 9 weeks in, but i was struggling with alot of other debilitating things before this, and with the HPPD on top of them it's just become too much.

Here's the ironic thing in my case, i got it after trying a small amount of cannabis for the first time in many years just in hope off getting some relief from the problems i mentioned above. Last time i did it was about 6 years ago and in total i've done it about five times in my life. Other than that i haven't tried any other drugs than alcohol, caffeine and some anti-anxiety meds. So all in all i've lived a very sober and healthy life.

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37 minutes ago, Jacob Lesley said:

@Hall89 I live in the Netherlands and you? To be honest I really think you will recover because you used Weed, just takes some time with this disorder! I will recover too but I think you have a greater chance because of the weed! 

Ah ok! Sweden here. I don't know, it seems to be able to cause it just as bad as other psychedelics. I've talked to several others that got it from weed alone and they still have their visuas 6+ years later.

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5 minutes ago, Jacob Lesley said:

@cosmiccharlie I have such a bad day please can you give me some words that I will recover I need it so much!! I will never give up but sometimes I feel I am slipping because I want to get out of this nightmare... I just want it to end and do normal stuff like I told you... I need words for recovery 

I am also struggling myself.  We have to believe that things are going to get better either through our bodies and minds healing or through modern medicine.  This disorder can be hell but hopelessness in my experience doesn't last very long.  We have to keep moving because there's nothing else to do and then one day we will recover and our experience can be of use to someone else.  I cannot tell you how amazing it feels to emerge on the other side, whole and feeling like yourself.  I hang onto the fact that I have recovered before from deep despair and so can you.  Just hang on man. 

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@cosmiccharliethankyou so much, I sometimes just have the feeling that this is the end.. that my life ended at 22 and hated drugs was always so careful with it and still got fuc.ked. I just can’t believe it it is so weird. I want to be the normal me the guys who people loves to be around funny, kind, outgoing and not thinking about this disorder.. just want to go to a party and not think about how I feel or how uncomfortable I am in my own skin. Just go to school thinking about the unimportant things the girls, homework, the weekend and not have the disorder feeling showing up everywhere I go.. it follows me and never leaves me.. Just wanted to be that kid/guy again just me. Jacob. Not wanting to feel ashamed of my disorder and feeling proud of me again of the person I am and the great friends I have and smile.. I just want to fully recover again and live like I have never lived before! Disorder disappearing and just travel and work sorry needed this out of my system

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@cosmiccharlie I got so much to do and experience! Partying till 27-28 in Amsterdam.. having a great job or having my own real estate that is my financial dream! Getting some girls and eventually find the perfect keeper the best one of all and live with her! Maybe getting some kids who knows, buy a house or live in my fathers house in the most cozy and fun town! Seeing my friends a lot and way more stuff and the best thing of all not think about hppd but sometimes if people bring up hard times you get a flashback and you are like wow my life at 22 year old was a true hell and nightmare but at the end of that year I fully 1000% recovered and started really living and never touched anything... and afterwards forget the conversation and life on just living

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@Jacob Lesley You're going to have a full life, I contracted this disorder when I was your age (a little younger actually around 19-20).  My life has been amazing so far and I'm just getting started.  I am now 31, working on a math PhD, I have a good marriage to an amazing girl, I have a 1 year old daughter and another baby on the way.  All of this has been in the midst of this disorder and while it hasn't been easy, if I gave up years ago when I thought about it I would have missed so much.  Now I wouldn't trade my life for anything, the hardship has molded me into the person I am today and the same will happen with you. 

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