Can someone help me?

[Irmani]

I’m a 19 year old female who was laced by what I believe was lsd. I had an extremely bad trip that left me on the psych floor for 3 days. After I was released I was just fine at first, then I started to get experience extreme anxiety, depersonalization, derealization & disassociation. I was then placed on risperidone. Unfortunately at the time me nor my doctors knew that this would worsen my symptoms. A month later almost exactly, I was overwhelmed one day I just began to sob I couldn’t live like that I just wanted my old life back, I knew the risperidone wasn’t good for me so I then took a hydroxyzine to help me rest, next thing I know I’m having the scariest dream of my life which seemed incredibly real my chest was twisted like a wind up toy and bag was placed over my head like I was suffocated, two voices talked and said my birthday & name & release her back out, & “tell everyone what you saw” I then woke up in extreme panic I was reliving the night that I took the drugs almost the exact same! It felt so real to me, like it was actually happening that’s why I believe that I don’t have hppd because I could distinguish between reality and a flashback. I continued to take risperidone for a couple of days of being back in psych care but I was then switched to seroquel being that risperidone was causing me to have breast milk & positive pregnancy test which were wrong. Nothing has been the same. I feel weird looking out of my eyes, I feel weird being myself like I’ve sort of lost my identity and sense of self. Everything scares me, being outside in the dark, being in the car in the dark, driving, phone vibrations & noises, thumbs up, like literally there’s a correlation everywhere. The thought of being in a simulation crippled my faith I have trouble erasing what I saw and overriding it with my beliefs. Everyday is literally a struggle I was taking an ssri & at first it was working but I began to have close eye hallucinations & thoughts of suicide. If anyone has any suggestions feel free to lmk! I need help desperately end my psychiatrists & psychologists aren’t really helping. Pls help! 

[Jay1]

Sounds like most of your issues are coming from the meds... I would taper down and just live a totally clean life for a while, get to understand your illness, see what makes you worse/better, try to de-stress etc

Remember, saying no to a doctor is your absolute right. 

[Whatever]

Risperidone is a No No for hppd.

In the farmacology section of Risperidone is actually a inverse agonist of the 5ht2a receptor ( the one that we think hppd is affected )

That means that it actually bind to the receptor without producing any effect. But to some already sensitive 5ht2a receptors this is actually wrong,because in such scenario activation seems to happen.

 

I know because i was given risperidone and symptoms worsened.

Stay away from that stuff. Is such a cheap and strong medication that's why they give it so much but it actually is dirt, there are other way better than risperidone.

Doctors get sanctioned for prescribing costly medications.

Anyways, hope you get well.

Stay safe!

[Irmani]

On 2/21/2021 at 7:36 PM, Whatever said:

Risperidone is a No No for hppd.

In the farmacology section of Risperidone is actually a inverse agonist of the 5ht2a receptor ( the one that we think hppd is affected )

That means that it actually bind to the receptor without producing any effect. But to some already sensitive 5ht2a receptors this is actually wrong,because in such scenario activation seems to happen.

 

I know because i was given risperidone and symptoms worsened.

Stay away from that stuff. Is such a cheap and strong medication that's why they give it so much but it actually is dirt, there are other way better than risperidone.

Doctors get sanctioned for prescribing costly medications.

Anyways, hope you get well.

Stay safe!

Thank you!!

[GarrisHart]

On 2/17/2021 at 12:25 PM, Irmani said:

I’m a 19 year old female who was laced by what I believe was lsd. I had an extremely bad trip that left me on the psych floor for 3 days. After I was released I was just fine at first, then I started to get experience extreme anxiety, depersonalization, derealization & disassociation. I was then placed on risperidone. Unfortunately at the time me nor my doctors knew that this would worsen my symptoms. A month later almost exactly, I was overwhelmed one day I just began to sob I couldn’t live like that I just wanted my old life back, I knew the risperidone wasn’t good for me so I then took a hydroxyzine to help me rest, next thing I know I’m having the scariest dream of my life which seemed incredibly real my chest was twisted like a wind up toy and bag was placed over my head like I was suffocated, two voices talked and said my birthday & name & release her back out, & “tell everyone what you saw” I then woke up in extreme panic I was reliving the night that I took the drugs almost the exact same! It felt so real to me, like it was actually happening that’s why I believe that I don’t have hppd because I could distinguish between reality and a flashback. I continued to take risperidone for a couple of days of being back in psych care but I was then switched to seroquel being that risperidone was causing me to have breast milk & positive pregnancy test which were wrong. Nothing has been the same. I feel weird looking out of my eyes, I feel weird being myself like I’ve sort of lost my identity and sense of self. Everything scares me, being outside in the dark, being in the car in the dark, driving, phone vibrations & noises, thumbs up, like literally there’s a correlation everywhere. The thought of being in a simulation crippled my faith I have trouble erasing what I saw and overriding it with my beliefs. Everyday is literally a struggle I was taking an ssri & at first it was working but I began to have close eye hallucinations & thoughts of suicide. If anyone has any suggestions feel free to lmk! I need help desperately end my psychiatrists & psychologists aren’t really helping. Pls help! 

Fear is not real, it is only a trick. And with a 1000% certainty I will say that from my personal experience with risperidone and a couple other psych meds combined with my intuition that the risperidone definitely needed to be stopped, as it can cause the symptoms you were having, and seroquel can cause them too. Also one of the most important details that helps a Dr determine between a diagnosis of HPPD and delusional psychosis is that people with HPPD are aware that what they are experiencing isn't real, which in turn can also exacerbate the symptoms of HPPD and possibly pushing one into a very negative thought pattern loop that is almost impossible to get out of... Always remember that energy flows where focus goes and our beliefs directly create our reality, and YOU are the only one with the power to decide your beliefs... Much love to you down the path leading you away from fear.....

[Irmani]

On 3/11/2021 at 3:53 PM, GarrisHart said:

Fear is not real, it is only a trick. And with a 1000% certainty I will say that from my personal experience with risperidone and a couple other psych meds combined with my intuition that the risperidone definitely needed to be stopped, as it can cause the symptoms you were having, and seroquel can cause them too. Also one of the most important details that helps a Dr determine between a diagnosis of HPPD and delusional psychosis is that people with HPPD are aware that what they are experiencing isn't real, which in turn can also exacerbate the symptoms of HPPD and possibly pushing one into a very negative thought pattern loop that is almost impossible to get out of... Always remember that energy flows where focus goes and our beliefs directly create our reality, and YOU are the only one with the power to decide your beliefs... Much love to you down the path leading you away from fear.....

Thank you! Much love!

[Onemorestep]

So sorry to hear this  jay is right—off all those medications. It’s very hard to learn individually what helps and hurts with meds with this but the rule of thumb for 99% of people is—no antipsychotics and no SSRIs. Don’t screw with serotonin. Do not take anticholinergics. Do not take any recreational drugs LIKE NONE. 
 

If you’re going to try a medication, gabapentin may be of some relief to you. It is easier to stop than benzodiazepine drugs and has less dependency issues after stopping it. 
 

A member of this website, Visual, felt that gabapentin stopped the worsening of the progression of his hppd and allowed him to function. It helped reduce a lot of his anxiety symptoms and he stayed on it for 4 years and then stopped without a return of those symptoms. 

 

start with a low tester dose. Take a capsule and pour out 9/10 of it and take that. If that goes well, take a bit more until you know it’s safe. Then figure out your optimal dosage to stop the severity of your panic. 
 

once again, so sorry you are feeling this way. Continue to reach out here if you need to. Everyone here has gone through this too in one way or another. 
 

(If you think you’re feeling better, do not take any drugs. Promise you it goes poorly 99% of the time)