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Posted

I've been slowly getting better over the past three months that I have had HPPD but I had an extremely bad experience the other night that temporarily made me think things were getting a lot worse. I'm wondering if anyone else can relate to it.

I woke up in the middle of the night seeing the whole room (I sleep with a light on because of my sleep issues) like it was divided into litle octagons with flourescant colored outlines. My brain was barely on, I was thinking very groggily and have a very weak memory of the event now. All I can remember thinking is that I needed to stay calm or my anxiety/DR would return. Suprisingly I was able to stay mostly calm and returned to sleep after what felt like 20 minutes. I don't think the visuals lasted the full twenty minutes (I think the open eyed ones stopped afer around 1-5 minutes) but I cant really remember. I haven'thad open-eye visuals anywhere near that powerful since getting HPPD and have barely had any at all over the last few weeks. I have had a lot of closed-eye nightime visions and strange thoughts when trying to sleep but this was different.

Was that a flashback?

Posted

i was getting, still do a little, when i was waking up there would be sparkly walls, like light blue sparkly, little dots and so on

the other week i got rudely awoken by my mum being an arse and slamming a door that shook the whole house. i woke up instantly to find my intire room covered in black rectangle shapes but broken up, like long dotted lines with dots between sorta flashing. i immediately went back to sleep and woke up fine

the week before last i was laying in bed in the AM looking at the ceiling feeling cocky, thinking wow im almost better, iv kicked hppds ass. i noticed the visual snow on the ceiling begin circle into circular pulsing patterns that began to flash, i quickly looked away and thought fuck...its not over yet.

so i think these, and what u have had could be flash backs yes

Posted

ive had somethin happen where it was like a dream within a dream. i "woke up" and i was walkin in my apartment except everythign was bending and morphing and then i looked at my arms and i had these fuckin scary ass baby arms and thats when i realized i mustve been dreaming and woke up again except i stayed in bed and in this weird twilight zone of sleep and awareness for a while...i did have a FULL ON shroom flashback one time i smoked weed though...lasted about 2 minutes...scariest 2 minutes since onset of DP probably.

and yea my symptoms are usually at their worst immediately after waking up, afterimages especially.

Posted

i was getting, still do a little, when i was waking up there would be sparkly walls, like light blue sparkly, little dots and so on

the other week i got rudely awoken by my mum being an arse and slamming a door that shook the whole house. i woke up instantly to find my intire room covered in black rectangle shapes but broken up, like long dotted lines with dots between sorta flashing. i immediately went back to sleep and woke up fine

the week before last i was laying in bed in the AM looking at the ceiling feeling cocky, thinking wow im almost better, iv kicked hppds ass. i noticed the visual snow on the ceiling begin circle into circular pulsing patterns that began to flash, i quickly looked away and thought fuck...its not over yet.

so i think these, and what u have had could be flash backs yes

What you experience is not a flashback, it's just the brain trying to sort out the visual snow and find patterns in it, i get it all the time. Btw, isn't flashbacks just small periods of hppd symtoms flashing up? We have them all the time but some people just get it for a couple of minutes occasionally.

Posted

ive had somethin happen where it was like a dream within a dream. i "woke up" and i was walkin in my apartment except everythign was bending and morphing and then i looked at my arms and i had these fuckin scary ass baby arms and thats when i realized i mustve been dreaming and woke up again except i stayed in bed and in this weird twilight zone of sleep and awareness for a while...i did have a FULL ON shroom flashback one time i smoked weed though...lasted about 2 minutes...scariest 2 minutes since onset of DP probably.

and yea my symptoms are usually at their worst immediately after waking up, afterimages especially.

something very similar happened to me a couple months ago. I think i had a 'false awakening' dream but i don't even know if I was dreaming! I 'woke up' in my bedroom and it felt like i was in a full on trip there were extreme distortions, stars, and colors everywhere. Also I distinctively remember a waving sensation throughout my body, which is something acid can do. So I got out of bed and started changing clothes and the next thing I knew I woke up in my bed and everything was normal! (well, i still had hppd but I wasnt trippen anymore). This was reaeeeeeaally weird and i still dont know if it was a dream or a flashback.

On a side note, am I the only one who has had a dream where you've taken a hallucinogen and then actually seen the effects of it in your dream? Well one night I had a dream where I was with one of my friends who I always wanted to trip with and we both ate some blotters and then my vision in the dream got all wavy. haha that actually kind of cured my acid craving.

Posted

Ive taken shrooms in a dream. I saw like the room turning and my pov tilting and shit. Ive taken bars in a dream and felt extremely relaxed hahah. It sucks though, many times idk if things that happen that i remember happened to me in a dream or in real life, like if my dad said something or somethin of the sort, then ill be like, oh that never actually happened

Posted

I had a dream where I was at a party with mates. And they were annoyed I wouldnt dri.k or drop. One of them said no way ur gunna party sober. Then all these pills were filling my mouth just pouring out allover the floor. I started freakin out hard, I didnt realise I was dreaming and new my hppd would be bad. All these patterns appeared and started going nuts. I decided to try get to sleep, so I woke up in a room unable to move, I thought id dief...then I realise I was tryna wake up in life aswell but was under sleep paralasys for a minute or so

Very scary event

Posted

Not related to HPPD, but since we're talking about dreams, I had a pretty horrible one the other night! I got a fish hook stuck in my throat, so my Mum decided to fix it by chucking a hot small ball of coal down there to melt it away. I went "why did you do that for?!", and she goes "how else was I meant to get it out?" Quite funny thinking back to it, but the pain I felt in that dream was extreme! On the other hand, I've had my head chopped in half before in a dream where there was no pain at all. I remember thinking, "why aren't I dead?" :)

Posted

yeah my dreams have been pretty fucked up since my onset of hppd, i experience sleep paralysis i'd say twice a month and its honestly made me dreading going to sleep sometimes, but i also have nightmares where i am having a full on flash back, hallucinating in a dream? and its scary as fuck. when i wake up my symptoms are twice as worse and i avoid going to bright light cos thats when the patterns start to appear.

Posted

I like reading about these wild dreams everyone is having. I still before I open my eyes in the morning wonder if my hppd is gone. And I'm always like oh well there it is again. The flashback word makes me angry, because I had an ongoing argument with an MD who didn't believe in hppd and said it was in my mind, because flashbacks don't last.

I think what might happen is that while we sleep the neurotransmitters build up and for us it's probably unpredictable what we may see when we wake up. If I wake up in darkness I still may be totally disoriented. I pretty much have to hold onto the wall to get anywhere. It's like a strobing kind of thing and more hallucinatory with shapes.

Ferett, I'm really glad that you are experiencing a lessening of symptoms. It seems that people who catch this thing early have the best chance of recovery. Take care everybody.

Posted

yeah my dreams have been pretty fucked up since my onset of hppd, i experience sleep paralysis i'd say twice a month and its honestly made me dreading going to sleep sometimes, but i also have nightmares where i am having a full on flash back, hallucinating in a dream? and its scary as fuck. when i wake up my symptoms are twice as worse and i avoid going to bright light cos thats when the patterns start to appear.

I have a lot of the same stuff happen. Unfourtunatly one of the only nights I slept well was the night of my sleep study so they couldn't tell me anything.

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