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Flashback?


ferret
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I've been slowly getting better over the past three months that I have had HPPD but I had an extremely bad experience the other night that temporarily made me think things were getting a lot worse. I'm wondering if anyone else can relate to it.

I woke up in the middle of the night seeing the whole room (I sleep with a light on because of my sleep issues) like it was divided into litle octagons with flourescant colored outlines. My brain was barely on, I was thinking very groggily and have a very weak memory of the event now. All I can remember thinking is that I needed to stay calm or my anxiety/DR would return. Suprisingly I was able to stay mostly calm and returned to sleep after what felt like 20 minutes. I don't think the visuals lasted the full twenty minutes (I think the open eyed ones stopped afer around 1-5 minutes) but I cant really remember. I haven'thad open-eye visuals anywhere near that powerful since getting HPPD and have barely had any at all over the last few weeks. I have had a lot of closed-eye nightime visions and strange thoughts when trying to sleep but this was different.

Was that a flashback?

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i was getting, still do a little, when i was waking up there would be sparkly walls, like light blue sparkly, little dots and so on

the other week i got rudely awoken by my mum being an arse and slamming a door that shook the whole house. i woke up instantly to find my intire room covered in black rectangle shapes but broken up, like long dotted lines with dots between sorta flashing. i immediately went back to sleep and woke up fine

the week before last i was laying in bed in the AM looking at the ceiling feeling cocky, thinking wow im almost better, iv kicked hppds ass. i noticed the visual snow on the ceiling begin circle into circular pulsing patterns that began to flash, i quickly looked away and thought fuck...its not over yet.

so i think these, and what u have had could be flash backs yes

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ive had somethin happen where it was like a dream within a dream. i "woke up" and i was walkin in my apartment except everythign was bending and morphing and then i looked at my arms and i had these fuckin scary ass baby arms and thats when i realized i mustve been dreaming and woke up again except i stayed in bed and in this weird twilight zone of sleep and awareness for a while...i did have a FULL ON shroom flashback one time i smoked weed though...lasted about 2 minutes...scariest 2 minutes since onset of DP probably.

and yea my symptoms are usually at their worst immediately after waking up, afterimages especially.

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i was getting, still do a little, when i was waking up there would be sparkly walls, like light blue sparkly, little dots and so on

the other week i got rudely awoken by my mum being an arse and slamming a door that shook the whole house. i woke up instantly to find my intire room covered in black rectangle shapes but broken up, like long dotted lines with dots between sorta flashing. i immediately went back to sleep and woke up fine

the week before last i was laying in bed in the AM looking at the ceiling feeling cocky, thinking wow im almost better, iv kicked hppds ass. i noticed the visual snow on the ceiling begin circle into circular pulsing patterns that began to flash, i quickly looked away and thought fuck...its not over yet.

so i think these, and what u have had could be flash backs yes

What you experience is not a flashback, it's just the brain trying to sort out the visual snow and find patterns in it, i get it all the time. Btw, isn't flashbacks just small periods of hppd symtoms flashing up? We have them all the time but some people just get it for a couple of minutes occasionally.

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ive had somethin happen where it was like a dream within a dream. i "woke up" and i was walkin in my apartment except everythign was bending and morphing and then i looked at my arms and i had these fuckin scary ass baby arms and thats when i realized i mustve been dreaming and woke up again except i stayed in bed and in this weird twilight zone of sleep and awareness for a while...i did have a FULL ON shroom flashback one time i smoked weed though...lasted about 2 minutes...scariest 2 minutes since onset of DP probably.

and yea my symptoms are usually at their worst immediately after waking up, afterimages especially.

something very similar happened to me a couple months ago. I think i had a 'false awakening' dream but i don't even know if I was dreaming! I 'woke up' in my bedroom and it felt like i was in a full on trip there were extreme distortions, stars, and colors everywhere. Also I distinctively remember a waving sensation throughout my body, which is something acid can do. So I got out of bed and started changing clothes and the next thing I knew I woke up in my bed and everything was normal! (well, i still had hppd but I wasnt trippen anymore). This was reaeeeeeaally weird and i still dont know if it was a dream or a flashback.

On a side note, am I the only one who has had a dream where you've taken a hallucinogen and then actually seen the effects of it in your dream? Well one night I had a dream where I was with one of my friends who I always wanted to trip with and we both ate some blotters and then my vision in the dream got all wavy. haha that actually kind of cured my acid craving.

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Ive taken shrooms in a dream. I saw like the room turning and my pov tilting and shit. Ive taken bars in a dream and felt extremely relaxed hahah. It sucks though, many times idk if things that happen that i remember happened to me in a dream or in real life, like if my dad said something or somethin of the sort, then ill be like, oh that never actually happened

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I had a dream where I was at a party with mates. And they were annoyed I wouldnt dri.k or drop. One of them said no way ur gunna party sober. Then all these pills were filling my mouth just pouring out allover the floor. I started freakin out hard, I didnt realise I was dreaming and new my hppd would be bad. All these patterns appeared and started going nuts. I decided to try get to sleep, so I woke up in a room unable to move, I thought id dief...then I realise I was tryna wake up in life aswell but was under sleep paralasys for a minute or so

Very scary event

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Not related to HPPD, but since we're talking about dreams, I had a pretty horrible one the other night! I got a fish hook stuck in my throat, so my Mum decided to fix it by chucking a hot small ball of coal down there to melt it away. I went "why did you do that for?!", and she goes "how else was I meant to get it out?" Quite funny thinking back to it, but the pain I felt in that dream was extreme! On the other hand, I've had my head chopped in half before in a dream where there was no pain at all. I remember thinking, "why aren't I dead?" :)

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yeah my dreams have been pretty fucked up since my onset of hppd, i experience sleep paralysis i'd say twice a month and its honestly made me dreading going to sleep sometimes, but i also have nightmares where i am having a full on flash back, hallucinating in a dream? and its scary as fuck. when i wake up my symptoms are twice as worse and i avoid going to bright light cos thats when the patterns start to appear.

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I like reading about these wild dreams everyone is having. I still before I open my eyes in the morning wonder if my hppd is gone. And I'm always like oh well there it is again. The flashback word makes me angry, because I had an ongoing argument with an MD who didn't believe in hppd and said it was in my mind, because flashbacks don't last.

I think what might happen is that while we sleep the neurotransmitters build up and for us it's probably unpredictable what we may see when we wake up. If I wake up in darkness I still may be totally disoriented. I pretty much have to hold onto the wall to get anywhere. It's like a strobing kind of thing and more hallucinatory with shapes.

Ferett, I'm really glad that you are experiencing a lessening of symptoms. It seems that people who catch this thing early have the best chance of recovery. Take care everybody.

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yeah my dreams have been pretty fucked up since my onset of hppd, i experience sleep paralysis i'd say twice a month and its honestly made me dreading going to sleep sometimes, but i also have nightmares where i am having a full on flash back, hallucinating in a dream? and its scary as fuck. when i wake up my symptoms are twice as worse and i avoid going to bright light cos thats when the patterns start to appear.

I have a lot of the same stuff happen. Unfourtunatly one of the only nights I slept well was the night of my sleep study so they couldn't tell me anything.

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